Leemanism

Glued to her eyes

Mood: Groggy
Drink: Ovaltine
Tune: “Like Prana” by Afterlife

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No Pat, I said “Glued to her EYES” – EYES!

Anyway, Pat (“Hey man, seriously. Seriously man, I need my candy.”) called her “endearing” amongst other things. I call her “soul sucking”. The morning after our arrival in Orlando, Pat and I went down for breakfast and met both sides of the families, cousins, etc. However, there was one particular girl I just couldn’t get my eyes off of. It got on my nerves because she noticed and I kept dodging her reaction! This happened through roughly well into half way into our cruise. I didn’t know how old she was and guessed it was probably hovering around 17 or 18. Eg: I wanted to give her a glass of wine that night I ordered a bottle of white wine, but felt her grandma’s massive guardian presence hammering me down.

Let’s put it this way: it would have been a lot easier for me to strike up a conversation if her grandma and Jon’s entire family, as well as her little sister wasn’t right beside us. So I left all the talking and gentlemanly-ness to Patrick. (Way to go Pat!) All I wanted was to stop freakin looking at her, up until the last night where dagnabbit she caught me with her huge eyes and it was all over. I felt my soul being sucked right out of me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. It was as though her huge eyes were suction cups that latched onto mine, then with her glorious power, she drained me and then, and then, and then… And then that was it. Now I feel groggy.

[sigh]

Come to think of it, she reminds me of a cat with those eyes of hers. She also has little fangs. I like little fangs.

She probably thinks I’m a dirty old man. (Laura would say: “You?!?! Dirty!? No way! What else is new?”) I would be lying if I didn’t think she was/is pretty. At least Patrick looks like a late teen or early twenty-something. The GM of my company thinks I’m 40 years old!

Fine, I lied. He thought I was 18. (“Aren’t you a little young to be working here?” And I responded, “Excuse me? I’m more than double the age of your daughter!”) 8P

Meowz!

Popularity: 2% [?]

Published:

2010, March 7 – 2:51 pm

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Bunches Of Oats

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I need you

Mood: A hint of worry, a slight of frustration, otherwise, strangely calm
Drink: Les Combelles Cotes Du Rhone 2006
Tune: “Good bye my master” by Yoko Kanno

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I had a strange experience over the last few days. For a moment, I started to fall for a ’stranger’. Her life, where she lives, her feelings now, her desires, her goals – all of which I can completely relate to. I had already been numbed out for a few years now, numbed more so in the last two years, until of course, I get drunk, alone mainly. I didn’t think much of it until very suddenly. Then she told me this morning she needed me, at a weak point, where I can completely relate to as well. Yet, being used to giving serious objective advice and perspective, I told her as I would tell all of my other friends and that ‘ruined’ it for her. Now she has retreated and I am left here gradually becoming numb again.

She very abruptly reminded me that I can feel those emotions again, but with a line of misplaced words, it felt like all that I have shared with her became meaningless. Can anyone ‘blame’ me for being the way I am today?

If she does not contact me again, then life continues as it has always been. It was very different and she was quite interesting.

It’s karma, from my past, coming back to keep smacking me down. Must I become the only master of my domain, unable to share it with someone who can connect with me? Must I only invite my close ones every now and then for tea and noodles? Can I not have someone who simply can understand?

She needs someone who can inspire her, to subset a part of her emotional needs – someone stronger, but can also relate; someone more ‘mature’ and considerate. Who am I, but a stranger who became somewhat like a lighthouse, if only briefly. I have never relied on anyone else, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. It just simply means, I have always been forced to rely on no one else.

I am holding up the entire universe with my meager existence. Can someone come help me wipe off some of my sweat? It’s getting into my eyes and it stings.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Published:

2010, February 23 – 1:18 am

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When someone…

…you really care about and connect with, needs you, try not to make the mistake of providing serious objective advice. What they need is you, so give yourself to them.

[sigh]

Popularity: 6% [?]

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2010, February 22 – 2:29 pm

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Bread Crumbs

Mood: A wee bit anxious.
Drink: Les Combelles Cotes Du Rhone 2006
Tune: “It’s natural to be afraid” by Explosions in the Sky

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How do you expect to refine the future, if you keep trying to delete your past?

Like my blog that I started back in March 2006, there has been many times, countless times I wanted to delete it all and restart anew. Many times that I had actually closed down the site, but reopened it the next day. I didn’t like the idea that people would see me for who I was, at my weakest, at the times when I was ‘too’ outspoken and even brash. Alas, my blog is intact and it would make it four years old next month.

You know what shines in the future? It is not the money shot, nor the greatest award winning piece of artwork I might produce. What shines in the future is all that I have experienced in the past. It is in that past that shows me what I am capable of and what I can continue to exceed in. My past is the lighthouse in which it shows me the way.

My past refines my future, as it defines who I am at this moment in time. Without that history which makes me Leeman, I am but a blank canvas, empty and lost.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Published:

2010, February 18 – 9:11 pm

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Enlightenment

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I feel sick…

Popularity: 9% [?]

Published:

2010, February 13 – 2:18 am

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Bunches Of Oats

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Most Creative Guy in the entire universe

Popularity: 9% [?]

Published:

2010, February 10 – 2:15 pm

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Inspirational

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Friends & Experiences

Mood: somewhat horny
Drink: hot green tea
Song: “A Kiss to Build a Dream On” by Louis Armstrong

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This was originally posted at a forum responding to a girl who asked why her penpal friends would suddenly disappear without telling her why. I responded in two posts:

My first response::

This depends on how you define a friend. I think too many people use “friend” too loosely.

Her follow-up:

Yes you are right the term “friend” is used too loosely alot of the times.
So I shouldn’t really waste my time trying to meet people because if they are tired of you then the communicating will just stop. Leaving me wondering what happened or what I did wrong.

Then my last response:

Effort can only be wasted in hindsight. Many people interpret it like this: “If something goes well, then it isn’t wasted. If something goes wrong, then it’s wasted.” Therefore, you can never know whether it is wasted or not if you don’t try. It’s like everything we do: job/career, a project, giving advice, giving our love, giving our friendship, giving our trust, giving our bodies, giving our all.

Too many people try and try and try and keep failing, but these people continue to let past experiences go to waste because they fail to learn, to look at the mistakes, the process. Those that allow themselves to indulge in experiences also should learn to be more cautious. However, be cautious, not paranoid.

We should not cut ourselves short of potentially great friendships, just because of a few setbacks.

I should stop drinking this tea at midnight! BTW, did any of you Richmonites see the Torch Bearer run by on Steveston Hwy yesterday?

Popularity: 9% [?]

Published:

2010, February 10 – 12:03 am

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Friendship

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Full of Uncertainty, retake

This is directed to Patrick – you once commented on one of my entries titled “Full of Uncertainty“, dated September 13th, 2007. You said:

Ah… I remember the time when we ran into all those dead-ends, wrong turns, and difficult terrains but you know what? I kinda hoped that would happen because where’s the fun without any obstacles and challenges eh? My friend Adam said this to me before he left to join the Army, “The most interesting people are those who take the longest to figure out what they want to do in their lives” =)

“There are many paths in life, all leading every which way. At times it may be too dark to see the paths, or we may choose a path that says no entry. However the paths we choose make for the people that we are. Without these walks in life we get bored, tired and stagnant. We lose that spark that every human being has, that light, that life. Be who you want to be, walk where you want to walk, love who you want to love, and make life what you want to make it.” – Samantha L.

So what the hell happened between then and now?

Popularity: 12% [?]

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2010, February 9 – 1:45 am

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Ill Communication

…an album from Beastie Boys.

“Get It Together” by Beastie Boys:

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Just because I’m vulgar sometimes, it doesn’t mean I am tactless. It comes within context of the subject.

Many of my friends think I give good criticism. I have never given bad advice, to say the least. Bad advice is sugar coating crap, things that only make you all fuzzy, even if you suck. I’m not that sort of person. I’m the sort of person who will say something is nice if I mean it. I will also say something is awesome and mean it too. If I say it’s okay, then it’s okay. Read More »

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2010, February 8 – 8:28 pm

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Don’t…

…let him go.

Yes, the future is ‘vague’, but know this: let him go now and for the rest of your life, regret and constantly think about “what if?” OR go for it and live to the point where it is great.

The problem that people have is that they stop giving themselves choices.

A long time ago, I severed those choices. I regret every day. At the very least, if I had made those choices, the least I could have done was to make another choice.

Only those that have been through it all will appreciate these words.

Popularity: 11% [?]

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2010, February 6 – 3:43 am

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Inspirational

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The Imperium

Obviously does not exist yet.

If each and everyone of you stand before me, I would divulge it all to each of you.

My time has passed and THIS is my retirement. I wish I am back in those days, long passed. I don’t belong here. I belong then.

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2010, February 4 – 11:42 pm

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Inspirational

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Explained

Power, status and confidence.

Popularity: 12% [?]

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2010, February 3 – 2:50 am

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Salmon Fish Oil

“Follow me if I advance.
Kill me if I retreat.
Avenge me if I die.”
-ccap2521

Popularity: 12% [?]

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2010, February 2 – 10:39 pm

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Inspirational

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A glass of wine every night

It would be horrible of me if I retract my words now, because I always do that. I want to reach out, but then end up deleting them. I’ve reached out to someone, but right now, I feel vulnerable – not quite the word. Hmm… I feel exposed.

By the way Michelle… I have not forgotten my massive 12 page hand written letter to you. I just keep adding stuff to it. By the time you get it, it will probably be a book.

Popularity: 13% [?]

Published:

2010, January 31 – 3:12 am

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Why Is The Moon?

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Woken up

Suddenly, you realize that was it, that was just it and you wake up.

Popularity: 16% [?]

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2010, January 21 – 1:11 am

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Cardboard flavored Ginger Tea

I know my site looks unfinished. I’m getting to that. There are a ton of stuff to do.

However, before I get to that, I want to thank my friends for an awesome, laid-back week of birthday greets and well wishes. Keeping it simple is really the way to go.

^o^

There’s more I want to say, but I am super tired and weighing whether I should go to bed first or eat something first. I’ll have Fruit Loops then. Yep, I finally managed to encourage my mom to get me a box the other day. After 16 years, I finally get to eat Fruit Loops again!

Popularity: 18% [?]

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2010, January 15 – 2:46 am

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Bunches Of Oats

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You versus the many

The cries of the many outweighs you, but sometimes, the cries of one can outweigh the many.

It comes down to context.

Popularity: 18% [?]

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2010, January 10 – 2:14 am

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Inspirational

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My greatest gift

Friendship, at the lowest resonating label is my great gift. I believe in humanity above all else. It is humanity that make things happen. All other aspects make up the unknown. It is too bold for humans to say otherwise.

Today, Jason Ding, Laura Yang and Patrick Leung took me out to a few drinks and chit chat. That was awesome. As I am the ‘gift’ to my mom and my dad, my friends are my gift to me. That is all.

Albert may never realize this, but I valued his friendship greatly. I did look to him as one of my brothers. It didn’t take impulsiveness to ‘wipe away’ that label. It took a build-up experiences to rid him as that. Indeed, I think about what we had every now and then, but that is just that – sentimental memories.

I know Patrick mentions I should give him a call, but what he doesn’t realize is that a rooted friendship pulled out from the depths means a friendship that has been dug up. “Friendship” to me is shared vision, shared connection – a flow, even with our differences.

Popularity: 18% [?]

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2010, January 10 – 2:12 am

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Bunches Of Oats

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Universal Health Care

I didn’t want to post this up for a long time, ever since President Obama introduced it to his country. However, after reading months after months of Republican hoohah and those who continue to bash UHC with misinformation, I think it’s about time I say something.

FIRST AND FOREMOST: I would like to address that NOT every American who can’t afford medical are are lazy. That is outright ignorance for those who believe this. Think and please think about this, because it’s not difficult. Americans who cannot afford medical care, aside from the lazy few are:

- students that are working low-paying jobs
- single moms that are working and going to school at the same time
- single dads that are working and going to school at the same time
- drop-outs that are working and living on his/her own
- individuals that have financial responsibilities such as supporting a mom, a dad, both parents, a grandparent, siblings, his/her boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband
- individuals that have acquired debt from a family member
- individuals whom have been tricked into burdening a debt from a ‘friend’, an associate, etc
- individuals whom have been trying to look for work in a fallen economy, whom do not have much training or post-sec
- individuals whom have brought up in a crappy neighborhood, being stereotyped or is experiencing racism which cannot find a job or has a job, but little future
- individuals whom are prone to get sick and can’t travel around readily
- individuals whom are working, but has past debts like a student loan

SECOND: The USA has one of the world’s most high-tech medical facilities and medicines available, BUT that sort of technology IS USELESS if NO ONE CAN AFFORD IT! Common sense no? Read More »

Popularity: 17% [?]

Published:

2009, December 21 – 6:41 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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Real-time Strategy Games

As I chomped down on my chai-siu and rice, I searched the net for a PC RTS that I haven’t played yet, to buy. I looked at various games at IGN and Gamespot and didn’t find many that were too interesting. Then I looked up “Best RTS for PC” and came across a few forums with their lists. However, something struck me as ‘odd’, was how many people thought Starcraft and Warcraft were “excellent RTS” or through the words of some poster, “If you want more RTS, choose Starcraft. If you want more strategy, choose Civ.”

Do they NOT know that the “S” in “RTS” stands for “Strategy”?

Anyway, as far back as I could remember, I felt Starcraft and Warcraft to be hollow. Indeed, they looked nice for their time and the in-game sequences were nice. The unit upgrades were cool too and the role-playing element in WC3 was neat, but I could never find them interesting, as if they lacked substance. Which by the way, lore and substance may go hand in hand, but they are not necessarily the same thing.

In short: Starcraft is a top-down point and click action game disguised to look like a real time strategy game. You win games in Starcraft and Warcraft by zerging your opponent. That’s it. Okay, I’ll give them SOME credit – a LITTLE strategy is involved like the timing of a jump in Super Mario 3. However, if you compare it to games like C&C Generals, it falls flat in the Strategy genre. In my books, Starcraft and Warcraft are top notch ACTION games, but as far as Strategy goes, you may find ‘more’ strategy in picking your nose.

Popularity: 17% [?]

Published:

2009, December 21 – 5:03 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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When you have something to say…

…say it to me, because I will be able to comprehend it. I will probably even be able to reflect on it.

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One of my favorite tunes. “Creep” by Radiohead.

My mind, my heart is like this song. Even the lyrics.

I think unlike my friends, I have grown cold to the idea of helping others. The lingering desire is still there. I am still human. However, being so far out, so foreign to social humans, I am like an ancient wasp, defrosted from an eon of sleep. Large and ugly, with spikes and huge eyes, huge fuzzy wings and large jagged pincers. It’s amazing humans allow me to live. I’m almost surprised that humans haven’t formed a huge mob to come strike me to death.

Amazing isn’t it? Read More »

Popularity: 17% [?]

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2009, December 10 – 4:42 am

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Stomach Ache

Popularity: 17% [?]

Published:

2009, December 8 – 6:25 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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Sexual Fairness

tdcanada_gay

I just noticed this a few minutes ago, while moderating Thottbot and thought, “Hey, that’s pretty cool. Is that TD Canada recognizing gay couples in Canada? That is really nice.”

I just wanted to share that with you lot. It could be interpreted differently – great friends, brothers, etc, but I interpret it as two gay men, a couple. Awesome.

Popularity: 18% [?]

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2009, December 6 – 6:35 am

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Inspirational

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What I need

Last night, I had one too many, though it wasn’t that bad actually. After the club, Pat and I went to #9. Adam came later. I got home just after 2:30am. I apparently crashed in bed, half asleep but at 3:49am, I receive a call from Kari whom I haven’t spoken to for a long time. Now, since after 2003, the only times she ever called me was because she was upset. I picked up after three buzzes and one of the first things I asked was whether she was sad, then her voice broke up. Unfortunately, she hung up on me about 20 minutes into the conversation and instead, texted me for the next roughly 30 minutes. It was fine. She needed a friend to talk with and I was there… Oh sorry, “to talk to” I mean. Not with. ^_^

After that, I fell completely asleep around 8am, woke up to my 9:51am alarm, drove my dad to work, called in sick again. Yeah, three days straight.

I had a dream, a very interesting intuition-induced dream. One I have not had for a very long time. These are the sort of dreams where people of religion interpret it as their god(s) speaking to them. My interpretation is simple and has been for the last twenty years. I call them “intuition-induced dreams”. They are dreams that initiate a phase to allow me to rid excess and concentrate on the core. Read More »

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2009, December 3 – 4:58 pm

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Uselessly Fun

(x) smoked A cigarette
(_) crashed a friend’s car
(_) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(_) been dumped
(_) shoplifted
(_) been fired
(x) smoked pot Read More »

Popularity: 16% [?]

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2009, November 24 – 1:24 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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It doesn’t cost that much

The title is a bit misleading, but actually, there is nothing philosophical, nor metaphoric about it.

A few minutes ago, I visited a site I frequent for Chinese TVB-related torrents and saw a tiny blurb that read: “Please click my sponsored ads. It will help with the monthly costs, else this site might not be here tomorrow.”

THAT is a very misleading statement. Now, I’ve worked in the web and creative production industry for ten years and I currently have five ongoing projects, three of which are personal. I KNOW that running a personal web site DOES NOT cost a lot of money. If it does, those people aren’t buying from the ‘right’ places. Right now, the only web project that is costing me a little more than the rest is Leemanism.com. The domain name costs me about $10 per year. The hosting is through GoDaddy and that costs me about $35 per year with 300 gigabytes of transfers per month and a total of 10 gigs of hosting space. Now, considering these other personal web sites that hold basic graphical data and no actual downloadable data, I call BS that really takes that much money to run their web sites. Read More »

Popularity: 16% [?]

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2009, November 23 – 3:11 pm

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Stuff

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Bamboo Juice

avatar931015go0

Popularity: 16% [?]

Published:

2009, November 18 – 4:48 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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Samsonite Sex

In the less than an hour of continued sleep after I dropped my dad off to work, I dreamed that I was going from my home to a place that resembled Simon Fraser University to drop off an empty Samsonite laptop case I own. It was night time and I walked past some kids who were doing something with their bikes and skateboards. I went to some alcove and walked past a bunch of massive dung beetle like bugs, to a door and a bench beside it. The alcove was surrounded by a low small-stone studded wall with more ground – dirt, grass and bushes on top of it.

I set the case down and walked away and somehow ended back at my own place. Except it wasn’t the townhouse I’m living at right now. It’s an apartment I was either renting or own.

Somewhere in there, I met up with a female friend and we ended up having sex back at my place. I remember that she was in a state of loneliness and wanted to share a night of bodies touching and rubbing up against each other. Though she was feminine and willing and though we were already engaged in the sexual acts, I felt almost half-hearted in my attempt to continue, especially when she had her legs wrapped around me so tightly. Read More »

Popularity: 16% [?]

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2009, November 12 – 2:38 pm

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Being Attractive

Now before anyone develops their own particulars, I will point out that I’ve been thinking about this for a long long long time and this entry takes on the objective perspective of that. There is nothing sinister nor demeaning through the words I will express here. However, know that this IS coming from my perspective.

In a previous entry, I was going to mention about a particular girl that has become very attractive for me. I was also going to mention that she was a caterpillar who went through the transitional process of the cocoon and came out a butterfly. A beautiful, ‘exotic’ butterfly.

Now, what sparked the motivation to enter this entry had to do with some thoughts that fell back on another girl whom I was friends with, who constantly and actively sought out a new intimate partner. In the many conversations we’ve had, she has always been thinking about what would make her more attractive. I told her that though indeed, attraction is relative to the individual, your overall value in that same attraction would be many times more attractive, if she had more to offer. More to offer meant more opportunities and more opportunities meant better chances in finding and accepting someone you much prefer, over someone you least prefer. In other words, rather than settling for someone you feel you can get by in life, you can find someone and accept a lifestyle where you can get more from it. Read More »

Popularity: 16% [?]

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2009, November 6 – 2:55 pm

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Rhetoric I

Often I wonder if all I have to do is try harder. Often I wonder if all I have to do is pick up the phone or maybe, even just drive over and grab her out. Sometimes, I ask myself, “Do I just have to say it?” or is that simply not enough and I actually have to go and just sweep her off the ground?

Most of yesterday, I thought about stuff. It is correct what I thought. I knew the answers of course. However, I already think about what I can do to help myself. Am I doing it? I am, which is an oddity because it is out of my norm. Though, I did forget to continue it yesterday. So I have to do it today.

I know if I don’t try, I will continue to regret, but at the same time, I fear of being discovered, discovered that I am less than what I was, becoming what I am. I fear that she would discover me as just a wretched human being that seek something that other humans want. Read More »

Popularity: 16% [?]

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2009, November 5 – 1:56 am

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True Love

At work, 3:08pm, just heating up my noodles with ham and bok choy.

Earlier (like 10 minutes ago), I surfed into Facebook and saw someone’s wall post say: “True love is when a person chooses to love you and only you for the rest of their lives :) If your not enough then it was never true love.” I had the urge to comment on her post, but decided to enter my thoughts here instead. Read More »

Popularity: 14% [?]

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2009, November 3 – 4:20 pm

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Love Economics

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Welcome to my PANTS!

Actually, it’s 8 degrees Celsius right now. Amazing right?

If you’ve noticed, I merged my old blog with this one and took out quite a bit of crap from that old blog. Mainly the miscellaneous video entries and a few religious debate entries. For the religious stuff, I wiped them off my site but have begun importing articles I’ve ‘written’ in the past, with updated information onto this site. They will be in another section called “The Critical Mind”. I will also add a section that expresses my personal philosophies when dealing with different relationships, calling that section “Spring Roses”.

Another section I will be adding is a section of miscellaneous but useful procedures that people can go to when they need that specific sort of help. One example is my recent battle with a noisy neighbor in which they finally shut the hell up. Persistence is key, but I’ll get into that later. I’ll call that section “Useful Stuff”.

Lastly, I will add a comic to this site, updated randomly. At the moment, it’s about 3 East Indian ronin and a Viking Ninja. In their journeys, they will meet fascinating people and explore wonderful places.

Popularity: 14% [?]

Published:

2009, October 28 – 1:50 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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A lesson on swearing in Cantonese

Popularity: 17% [?]

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2009, October 27 – 2:36 am

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Stuff

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The Universe from Nothing

An awesome video lecture on the creation of the universe by Lawrence Krauss. Jon, you will probably have an interest in this.

My favorite two quotes out of the entire video (17:19): “So forget Jesus. The stars died, so that you could be here today.” and at the end of the video, “We will be lonely and ignorant, but dominant.”

Though parts of the video ‘makes fun’ of religion, the video is not about being anti-religion, though it can be interpreted that way, since religion such as Christianity is based on creationist ideals. The focus of the video is a working theory on how the universe is being formed. As some of you may noticed, I used “is” instead of “was”. You will realize why I use a present tense rather than a past tense as you watch the video.

What’s really interesting is the mathematics of infinity. It seems like the calculations of infinity is largely based around patterns and sequences, which make up the ‘working theories’ in how things may work the way they do. Then again, much of mathematics without definite answers are based on patterns and sequences that balance both ’sides’ of the equation out.could

Popularity: 12% [?]

Published:

2009, October 26 – 6:41 pm

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Enlightenment

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Sometimes…

leemantoryan20091024a

Popularity: 10% [?]

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2009, October 25 – 2:33 am

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Over-simplification is stressful

One of my friends is right when she said that many westernized Caucasians are over-simplified in how they think and do things. Remember, I said “many” and not “all” or “most”. I say “many” because of the ratio in the amount of people whom I’ve interacted with. This also includes Canadian and American born non-Caucasian ethnicities as well. At least, some of them try to be over-simplified.

In the last few weeks, I engaged in various online interactions with people from all over North America. There are a rare handful of people that really think deeply into the subjects and of those rare handful, an even more uncommon pinch-full actually integrate their thought and emotional processes into what they’re passionate about.

I have to say, at age 30, now finally but very slowly realizing my own age and all the things I ‘missed’, I came to a realization why so many people are paranoid and selfish. It is simply because they are over-simplified in their thoughts. Read More »

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2009, October 23 – 2:52 am

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Rejection

dangok

This creature is known as a “Pong” because I’ve been trying to sleep most of the morning with little success and cannot think up a better name than “Dangok”. 8P

Which also means, I skipped work today because around 6:30 this morning, I suddenly woke up to a very painful stomach ache and spent a good two hours trying to clear that up on top of the two hours I tried to go back to sleep, shivering from the cold, which mind boggled me. I could not figure out why I was so cold.

So I had a dream this morning, as I finally fell back asleep and I think it’s good to document it because it stood out… Not that most of my dreams don’t stand out vividly, but well… Read More »

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2009, October 8 – 2:40 pm

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Dreams

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Lame

I almost walked out of my office today quitting my job. What I found frustrating about my job in the last few years is that my boss, though a nice lady, doesn’t actually listen. She accuses me of arguing because I don’t want to get my work done. The work she proposes has to do with understanding the company’s products.

Now, I’ve been with that company for four years this month. I know the basics to most of their products. In fact, I was the one who created 90% of the manuals for their products. However, since about two years ago, I’ve been asking my boss for further specifications and mechanics of the products. The reason is so I can get a better grasp at the products. Therefore, when I do market them out, I know what I am talking about and I would have further knowledge to back up that marketing. Read More »

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2009, October 8 – 12:48 am

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Work

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Lost Meaning

As per my message to Spongey yesterday, all of my entries for the month of October will showcase an entry header picture of my Spore Creature Creations. This image here is of an ancient creature known scientifically as a Leemanis. It resembles a prehistoric cat that screeches like a chimpanzee. It can’t really fly though. Those wings allow it to leap off tall things and glide over safely.

For the month of November, I’ll be showcasing images from my journeys into Aion as an Asmodian and then December, I’ll be showing images from Eve as a Minmater Special Forces captain.

Anyway, since my last entry, apparently it was obvious that my simplified thoughts are being interpreted differently. When some of my friends asked me in the past, “Why don’t you share your thoughts with us?” I had a good reason not to. If I under-explain my thoughts, misinterpretation happens. If I over-explain my thoughts, people get confused. If I use certain words, some people may translate that as being ‘hurtful’ or ‘condescending’. Read More »

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2009, October 2 – 5:55 pm

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I wish…

…you can hear, see, feel what I hear, see and feel. Obviously, who really knows how to respond to entries like this?

At one time, it was almost nice to have a student actually listen to me, but I was no mentor. Far from. In his perspective, yes. In mine; I was far from being eternal. With modesty aside, even if my perspective transcended humanity, I still resided in a human perspective.

Tonight, I drink alone again. Sake cups my brother got me for my 30th birthday with Port, cheap Port, but Port nevertheless. I contemplated the Taylor Fladgate Special Reserve I usually indulge in or the Cape Ruby. I got the Cape Ruby. Half the price, half the taste, but it does its job.

Indeed, I have cheapened my worth, aside from social protocol. [sigh] Social protocol.

There is so much I want to say, but I don’t think my blog here deserves to see my words. I need someone to share a bottle of Port with, that I can trust my mind to… Trust… Not trust. No, rather, to be able to swim in it. It saddens me that as I grow older, I realize that no one can swim in it as I do. Everyone else, simply, tries to fish it up.

Fish die out of the water. Read More »

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2009, September 24 – 11:42 pm

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Bacardi Rum, Aged 8 Years

So I start this journal entry with a bottle of Bacardi Rum, aged 8 years. The picture here is of two sake cups, filled with this rum. I toast Melvin for wherever he may be, that in our next life time, may we come back as cats. Cheers. Read More »

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2009, September 16 – 12:59 am

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The Epic Fool

I find it difficult to live in a world where there is an ‘intricate’ and unnecessary complication in the network of people. For example, I ’smoke-up’ every now and then – once or twice a month. Who don’t I want to know this? My mom and my dad. Why? Because they will both think it is bad for me, thus, it will worry them. For everyone else, I don’t give a shit. However, I can see why this matters to many people on this planet. Since this substance is ‘frowned’ upon, obviously there are many people who have an adverse perspective to this. Therefore, whoever ’smokes-up’ are ‘bad’ people.

I will make no excuse because no one deserves it and I require none. Indeed, I won’t volunteer my ’secrets’, but if anyone asks, I might just answer. Read More »

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2009, September 10 – 3:01 am

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Friendship

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Pulse

I have had at least one other entry with the same name in version 1 of my blog. I actually miss that version of my blog. It was when I was filling it up with a myriad of thoughts – from uber sensitivity and mushiness all the way to brash humor. It really represented me. These days, I’ve mellowed down so much. Yet, I want to speak out and I decide that yet again, I’m holding myself back.

Last night, I engaged in a short conversation with a stranger on MSN who pointed out that I was stupid to let my parents take 75% of my income. That I should have my own life and laughed at me, that I live with my parents. She even pointed out that I have “martyr syndrome”. I told her that many westernized individuals who do not have much strong ties with their families often think of themselves before others. Her way of thinking reminded me of the Republican and anti-Obama ignoramus that are against universal health care. Like my previous entry, humanity might as well die out now as it stands. (Un)Fortunately, I do still care for the little we have – the handful that are dear to me.

Once, I stood at a point where I was really serious about life, that fun was simply not a part of the equation. Nowadays, I almost live out this illusion. Read More »

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2009, September 7 – 12:50 am

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Enlightenment

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Outside, Peering in

There are certain feelings I will never have back. It is not a matter of trying.

Lately, I’ve been spending quite some time with one of my friends. I’ve noticed that we have some similarities as well as vast differences. For example, similarities would be how we both find satisfaction in knowing/seeing others gain a certain personal upgrade or achievement. Vast differences being that he is socially connected and I being socially disconnected. However, with that being said, like me, he is aware that we do not particularly want to belong to any particular clique. Furthering that though, I don’t belong to any particular cliques, but he does by phasing in and out of them.

He has social protocol that he stands by, where as the only social protocol I care about are those related to those immediate to me. The concept of “common courtesy” is a new ideal for me, when it comes to ‘protecting’ oneself from allowing others to find out whom they ‘really’ are, though what he really is compared to what he shows to the bulk isn’t really that different. It’s a matter of hiding certain shades. Read More »

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2009, September 6 – 3:37 am

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Enlightenment

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Foreign Intimacy

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2009, August 15 – 6:28 pm

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Welcome to Version 4

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2009, August 14 – 5:56 pm

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My Babies

Ironhorse Sonic 02 fs/ht Mountain bike (2002) – June 23rd, 2003: has clocked roughly 5500 km
Trek Equinox 5 Tri/Road bike (2007) – June 9th, 2009: has clocked roughly 350 kilometres so far

About a week ago, I went on a night ride with Jason. That was 12:30am roughly. We met up at 7-11 near Pat’s place. Jason swore he saw Pat drove by him as he rode up to meet me. Talk about destiny eh? ^_^

After some things and a lot of boyish giggling on Jason’s part, my ride home was quite nice. I took Westminster Highway east and as I took to my aerobars, I looked north and a flood of nostalgia passed through me. Though the feelings quickly faded, some memories of past times and the associated sensations still lingered until the view became blocked by a forest of trees.

The view of north Richmond, Vancouver, the lights on top of Cypress and Grouse, the cool-ish air around me, 35km/hr, the reminder of all those nights driving up and down that road thinking about Virginia, walking up and down that road in the rain with Tom, the times Carlo, Jacek, Tom, Roger, Jon and I walked around the Lansdowne area, some of us high, some of us drunk, me completely sober, to see how the city changed before my eyes from my childhood to my adult years – all these things… This is my city. Read More »

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2009, July 3 – 11:03 pm

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EA Games DRM

As I started working years ago and earning my buck, I started looking into buying PC games online and at stores like Future Shop and Best Buy. I’m not a hardcore gamer, but I do love games from time to time.

EA Games introduced DRM into some of their games and will continue to do so in all of their future titles. Now, there are two types of DRM. 1) Code-based, unlimited installations and 2) Online registration based, up to 3 or 5 installations. Read More »

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2009, June 4 – 2:00 pm

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Stuff

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The Laid Back Crew VS The Uptight Duo

It has been two nights since further drama ensued between the Jenbert combination and Patrick and Leeman. I contemplated on whether I want to post my thoughts up or not and for the better of me, I didn’t want to because I feel that I am defending myself against an unnecessary foe. I eventually chose to because I dislike being stepped on and I dislike twisted reasoning.

I’ve only seen Patrick ‘blow-up’ three times in my life knowing him. I know he’s blown up at least one other time in Japan. During the Saturday talk with Albert and Jenny, he eventually blew up and kept saying, “Wow.”

Yeah, wow indeed. Read More »

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2009, June 1 – 3:12 pm

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Stuff

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Reality

Erica has aided in heightening my perception of reality. I was aware of the idea years before, but it didn’t quite occur to me until very recently that there is no universally shared reality. Reality is relative to the person perceiving it. Reality incorporates three things: perception, process and conclusion. Within the layer of process, a person goes through a rapid filtering of ideas influenced by emotions, upbringing, past experiences, witness to external factors and moods of the moment.

This has made me realize that my reality is different than the reality of others. What sparked it off was when Erica was explaining the nth time to me about her reality of our situation or rather, her situation. This particular thought sparked just now, a few moments ago before I decided to enter this entry, that though we both are living in reality, the reality we both live in are not the same, even if the awareness factor of reality was there from the beginning. Her capabilities share her reality and so does mine. Just because I can see it happening, she might not due to the situations that hinder our realities.

This realization of reality has also broadened my awareness and perception of other subjects such as religion/faith, lifestyles and even relationships with people and things. If only there are people in this world that share this heightened awareness and perception with me.

Unity and progression by ridding excess.

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2009, May 25 – 11:28 pm

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Enlightenment

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Potato Chip Destiny

I was in front of my computer as usual, eating Herb & Garlic chips when one chip bounced out of my fingers and disappeared under the desk. I even made a sound with my mouth that resembled a manly man being poked up the ass by something to help his constipation.

After some searching, I found the Croc Minion all over it. He seemed pleased.

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2009, May 11 – 5:02 pm

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Spirit of Cypress (49km)

To finish off what we tried to do on Friday, which was supposed to be a 6pm Ditchmond 40k ride that was cut in half due to my slowness, we went on a 49.7km ride from Richmond to UBC and back. We also did a little Pacific Spirit.

Our ride started at Jason’s place near Steveston around 2:10pm. Went through Pacific Spirit, ended up at The Village, ate at Vera’s Burgers, went to the corner store to check out the cute Korean girl clerk, then rode back home. We had Om… Omelet Fried Rice Japanese Fusion Supreme for dinner and watched The Wrestler.

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2009, May 11 – 12:24 am

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Version 3

Welcome to Leemanism v3.0. All the entries in the old blog has been wiped. Though they were mostly backed up for my own records. Pat suggested a photo blog. I settled on a photo-esque sort of blog. Each entry will start off with an image of sorts, followed by my thoughts. I’ll keep my text-side thoughts to a minimal. If I have a rant, you’ll see the representation of it in the picture.

Anyway, if you want to hire a professional photographer, check out Patrick Leung.

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2009, May 10 – 1:43 am

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Stuff

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Tour De Patrick III (53km)

Pat, Jason and yours truly @ the Vancouver Convention Centre and yes, that is a deliberate blurry picture. We rode from Pat’s place, across the Arthur Liang, up through Cypress and at the Lost Lagoon. Then we explored the new Convention Centre for a bit, then headed to Japadog’s. Afterwards, we rode back home in the chilly weather.

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2009, May 3 – 8:46 pm

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Road Biking

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Continued Story

Pat tells us that he wishes to travel, experience the world and witness with his eyes the things that happen every where. He will take his legs, his feet, his hands with him to fulfill that sort of desire one day for many days and nights. With him, he will bring his camera, laptop and other necessities to keep various moments immortalized forever digitally. He will have a fabulous and grand journey and he will meet many people and hear different languages and smell and touch and sense many different sensations.

Epic.

I dream of traveling. I dream of visiting places that will bring me visually intensive grandeur. I wish to walk, tread, take a stroll in places where it would give me a lot of spiritual integration and comfort. Allowing myself to be with everything that I can see would be an epically awesome thing to experience. However, I cannot. There are things I have given up on. Quite a many things – at least, in my perspective. Read More »

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2008, September 29 – 4:17 am

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Zero Requiem, Code Geass R2, thank you

This was originally intended to be a reply at a blog about Code Geass R2’s ending. I decided to put it here, since I’m in control of excess here and spam will never be able to get pass the security I have up.

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Tune: “Continued Story” by Hitomi Kuroishi

Just happened on this one blog about the ending to CG R2. I find that the ending of this series to be quite beautiful. Poetic in a raw sense. I think the correct word to use would be “epic”.

Everything from series 1 all the way to now makes complete sense and I am satisfied it ended this way. Zero lived up to his name from start to end. If anyone were to ever ask me, “Which fictional characters had given you a memorable experience?” I would have to say that Zero/Lelouch is one of them.

Things we wish to know, eg: what C.C. means does play a disturbing role in our minds, I’m sure, but they’re trivial and leaves something remarkable to remember by. Remarkable as in, “we’ll ponder on it over and over again until we get so sick of it that we want nothing to do with it”. Yet, it wouldn’t be so, because for those who have grown to appreciate this sort of anime/art piece(s), we’ll always remember it as one of the best anime ever created – no matter how some people may deem it “cliched” and “bland”. Looking past the surface material is often a component of anime – at least, anime with depth.

I have to applaud Gorō Taniguchi and Ichirō Ōkouchi for an excellent two series, as well as Hitomi Kuroishi for your beautiful voice and Kōtarō Nakagawa for making the music happen. Thank you.

Of course, with that said, I’m looking forward to getting my hands on legit Bandai DVD’s of both the first and second series.

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2008, September 29 – 3:55 am

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Inspirational

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Stray Cat

I have to admit, I am a little superstitious. My mom asks me from time to time, “Do you have hope for [insert things here]?” and I find that I cannot bring myself to serve and counter her worries. I can’t bring myself to say that I have hope for [insert things here] and I believe I can succeed in whatever I/we do. I cannot bring myself to say that because I had learned to let go of hope. This realization became refined as I aged but to pinpoint a date when it started, I would have to say it came about in the two years after the fall of my first company. The two years after that allowed me to abandon things that are meaningless in practicality.

As well, I find that I am taking things more ‘politically’ correct as I age. There are certain words and phrases I try not to use in conversation with others and I try to never repeat them with myself. “I hope” would be the biggest one. “This is gay” would be another.

The other night, I told a friend that there are things I need to do, but I found out soon enough that I cannot not be who I am. Rather, I cannot not allow myself to be who I am expressively. If I try to make myself more reserved and less expressive, I find it difficult to do. Of course, I can be reserved depending on company, but when I am not in the company of outsiders, I am who I am expressively.

Michelle might wonder, “Why would you try to stop yourself from being who you are?”

There are things I need to achieve in order to secure a few things in my life as it is coming. To achieve that security, there are things I feel I must define, as well, refine.

Yet, when I am alone, I am that person or when I am with someone with a like-mind or a like-heart, I am that person. Mood maybe? Excess venting? In many ways I want to stay like that person but there are things and people that are in my way and I can’t get rid of them.

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2008, September 29 – 3:47 am

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Realization

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What about my star?

Sorry, I would have entered something earlier but I needed to clear my mind of excess.

I found the summer to be slightly warmer, but things have become colder for me on the inside. Of course, since Alex came back for the two or so weeks, I had a lot of fun connecting with old friends, new friends and continuing friendships, but I find that I have become more detached to them.

This summer, I had the chance to do a nice long ride with Ryan, Patrick and Albert. I like those sort of rides. They’re tough and challenging. It is a sole challenge. It’s not painful in the sense where I am not enjoying myself. It’s because I cycle a lot that whatever physical challenges I meet, I am prepared enough for it. Read More »

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2008, September 28 – 3:11 am

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Tragically, I Awoke

The feeling is mutual. Wherever you go, where your eyes set its gaze, no doubt, you will feel that certain irregular pulse somewhere in your body. Do you mistake that as some minor physical ailment? Do you panic and go into a frenzy for a medical emergency? Rather, would you just stop looking out and look inside for a moment?

The most difficult thing I had to go through when entering public blogs was to express passion in certain areas. It was easy to exert a surface wind upon an ocean to create a tiny crater ripple, but to amass a huge storm, where would the fuel come from? The energy to produce such a force is massive and not easily initiated with the day to day happenings of simply getting older. Read More »

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2008, August 17 – 11:32 pm

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Realization

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Masquerade

11:56pm

Now with my ego aside and a lot less blunt, there are a lot of things that I can look forward to. I just wish that I wasn’t a part of it.

This is my ideal ‘fantasy’… Read More »

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2008, July 8 – 12:29 am

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Realization

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Stories

2:32am

A couple of nights ago, Albert, Jenny and I went to Denny’s after Albert gave us a nice tour around his new office in downtown. Albert noticed that something had recently changed with me. It’s nice to know that he recognized it. Except that I didn’t want anyone to actually confront me with it.

People change gradually over time – though some may change drastically due to some life changing events. I had thought if my ‘change’ was subtle enough, no one will really notice enough and even if they did, it would be more of a hunch than an actual confrontation. Read More »

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2008, July 7 – 7:02 pm

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Realization

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Personal Truth

2:38am

Tune: “Lost Friend” by Dolce Triade

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Maybe I am oblivious to the common emotion that a lot of people feel if a said truth were to appear before them. Most people that say things about themselves is because they are uncomfortable with themselves, and they express it because they wish that the receiver would disagree with them. For me though, I believe I am different in that aspect. When I say something about myself that may look negative for others, to me, it’s the personal truth.

The question is, “Why is personal truth negative?” Read More »

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2008, July 4 – 2:50 am

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Realization

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The Visionary That Saved The World

5:27am

Tune: “Slept So Long” by Jay Gordon

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I’m quite exhausted right now and should have been in bed around 2am but I needed to finish this thing and I’m still doing it.

A few mornings ago, I woke up from another nightmarish dream. Another vivid dream where I could feel touch and have slight control over the mechanics of the dream world. Only difference between this dream and all the previous one is that I was the ‘god’ of that world – at least, the denizens of my dream made me into a god. Read More »

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2008, May 17 – 6:46 am

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Dreams

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Gaming Courtesy

8:37pm

Being a frequent visitor to a certain gaming forum, I happened on this topic just now:

Okay, I can just predict how this is going to go…BUT…

While I have met some really fun and great people playing WoW for the past few months, there is an absolute epidemic of discourteous behavior on there. For instance, the other day some blood elf decided to randomly spit on me as I was taking a boat ride. I told a girl I dated a few times that I started playing WoW and she said she quit after some jerk off walked up to her and typed “Sir Douchebag rapes you”…an by the way, she’s a rape victim. So…not funny! Some other bonehead ambushed me on my way to to Scarlet Monastery, right after I’d drunk a fortune in potions, killed me because I’d buffed someone set for pvp and so my pvp was on and didn’t notice, and he corpse camped me for about a half hour. Me and the group I was with got him banned, so I hope he had fun. Read More »

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2008, May 12 – 8:38 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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Carry Me Away

3:41am

An influx of entries this morning. Lots on my mind. The first is about unity before we can venture into space. The second one is about being judgmental and opinionated followed by religious absurdity, and now my last set of thoughts before bed about those whom are strong in their beliefs and can stand up for themselves.

This entry coincides with an earlier entry about being attracted to strong independent women. This is similar to my attraction to strong willed independent men as well. Of course, this sort of attraction is not intimate in the sense of being sexually nor desiring a deeper intimate companionship. I hope I need not explain this again in the future. I find people who distort the obvious meanings to be quite distasteful. Read More »

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2008, May 12 – 3:57 am

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Realization

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Comments Off

It's Translated Incorrectly

2:50am

Tune: “What Bout My Star?” by Yoko Kanno, Sung by May’n (Sheryl Nome)

I’ve been taking sleeping pills recently finally. After years and years and years of insomnia and ‘messed’ up sleep patterns, the doctor prescribed Ran Zopiclone for me to be taken in half-pill dosages. So far, it works oddly. I don’t actually feel sleepy when I take them, but when I lay in bed, I could fall asleep in roughly 15 to 20 minutes which is a lot better than the usual 40 minutes to an hour. I usually get up before the 45 minute mark.

As I was contemplating exactly what time I’m going to bed, I was thinking that some people must find me quite unbearable and possibly even over-intrusive. I’m not sure how I can be over-intrusive unless they invited me to express myself or if they come and ask me for emotional support. Of course, I have a strong expressive opinion. This is apparent in my blog entries as well as in some forum groups and in-person conversations. So this must make quite a judgmental person. Read More »

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2008, May 12 – 3:40 am

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The Stars Sparkle Infinitely

9:30pm

Tune: “Diamond Crevice” by Yoko Kanno, Sung by May’n (Sheryl Nome)

Of course, there is a lot I wish to see with these eyes of mine. There are a lot of things I won’t do to meet those desires but there are a lot of things I would do to meet those desires at the same time.

The universe in me. That’s what I feel day in and day out. Read More »

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2008, May 11 – 11:11 pm

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Sheryl

5:44am

Just now I heard “Amazing isn’t it? Why is she so driven? No, why do people sing or want to fly? Even to the extent of going into space.”

Then the girl replied “Isn’t it obvious? Like we could do anything else.”

The second girl said “That’s right!”

The boy comments, “I fly because I’m meant to.”

For those familiar with these lines, you’re right. It is from MF, subbed by Gattai. They have done a great job so far despite the few spelling mistakes here and there.

Anyway, I thought those few lines meant quite a bit. Of course, I’m expecting arguments but if I have to explain myself, then the meaning will be lost.

5:46am

ps: I can’t wait.

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2008, May 4 – 5:47 am

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Visions & Family

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Ignited

4:37am

Tune: “Ignited (Piano Version)” by Toshihiko Sahashi
Drink: Warre’s Warrior Special Reserve

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However, to finish my bottle of Warre’s Warrior Port, I’ll have to keep entering some extra lingering thoughts before I really retire to bed.

Kanpai! Cheers!

One of my dreams is to travel to Japan and release both sides of my warring mind and heart into that sort of atmosphere. I wish to find peace and that is where I can find it. When I can travel there, it will not be because I forced entry into that territory. It is because I can afford it without having to destabilize my family’s security and welfare. If and when I travel there, I will be there for a long time. To others, I may be looking for myself, but to me, I am seeking to unify myself. Read More »

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2008, April 28 – 4:53 am

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Old Images

4:25am

Tune: “Aimo” by Yoko Kanno, sung by Nakajima Megumi
Drink: Warre’s Warrior Special Reserve

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If I were to ever end this blog site, I would say something along these lines:

The last X years had been eventful. There isn’t much to say further and you can continue to read my old entries if you like. Thanks for dropping by and I hope my words have served their purpose for you.

Best wishes, Leeman

That is of course, if I were to end this blog site. Not that I will at the current moment. There was another blogger from the mid 90’s who’s blog lasted for a decade. That’s ten years. He started entering his thoughts when he was in his mid-teens all the way to his mid-twenties. I thought that was quite a bit of will power. Unlike me, he actually spilled all his thoughts and feelings out and included a few video entries with sincere tears and in other times, laughter, etc. Read More »

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2008, April 26 – 4:48 am

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Realization

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Unconditional Love

2:45am

Last September, Michelle entered into her blog “Unconditional Love” about accepting those that are less fortunate into our families to care for them. Though I agree with her message at the end of her post, I also had my perspective on the matter. You can read about her entry HERE.

My response was:

You know, I read this a few times in the last few days and finally came to this:

The nice thing for anyone to do is to bring a less fortunate person home and take care of him or her, regardless of how they may be. There are families out in the world that adopt disabled and/or abused children and possibly even show them the love those kids never felt before. That is very admirable of those families. Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

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2008, April 25 – 2:54 am

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Booby For Leeman

4:22am

Spongey dropped over around 10pm last night for a little chit chat and got me a booby from Taiwan. A BOOBY! Seriously!

Excluding Haruhi Suzumiya and Yuki Nagato, she also got me a postcard that I can cut out to build a paper gate shaped like Jingfu Gate in Taipei and a lighthouse key chain. I really like the booby. It’s a stress ‘ball’. It’s fun. ^_^

Prior to that, she got me a plastic sign from Taiwan with three Chinese characters that reads “Lady Market”. It’s on my door facing outwards. If you ever happen to visit my room, you might also find various key chains hanging on my walls. Make note of them and play with them. ^_~

As a token of being welcomed into my humble abode, she gave me a great dose of her usual ’special’ aroma…

4:30am

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2008, April 22 – 4:30 am

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Bunches Of Oats

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The Mastermind

8:53pm

Lily recently sent a request for me to do another Scientific Personality Test which scored the following result:

Your Score: INTJ -The Mastermind
You scored 9% I to E, 42% N to S, 64% F to T, and 31% J to P!

You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more intuitive than observant, you are more thinking based than feeling based, and you prefer to have a plan rather than leaving things to chance. Your type is best described by the word “mastermind”, which belongs to the larger group called rationals. Only 1% of the population shares your type. You are very strong willed and self-confident. You can hardly rest until you have things settled. You will only adopt ideas and rules if they make sense. You are a great brainstormer and often come up with creative solutions to difficult problems. You are open to new concepts, and often actively seek them out. In a sense, Masterminds approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity. Read More »

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2008, April 18 – 8:57 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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The Hidden Alcoholic

3:04am

I was just laughing at a realization I came upon a few moments ago that if I didn’t have my friends and I didn’t have these responsibilities, I would be a very sick alcoholic right now. If I had the money and I did not have these responsibilities and the friends that actually tactfully take away my booze, I would be a drunk every night. Well, maybe not drunk every night but I would drink every day.

The taste of some alcohol like vodka and brandy is plain nasty but when the feelings inside of me feel like shit, a few shots of nasty booze seems heavenly. Like right now, I am craving some whiskey on ice. I really like whiskey even though it tastes really disgusting. It’s not the taste I like per se. It’s the overall feeling and the fact that it tastes so bitter that I really enjoy. Read More »

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2008, April 18 – 3:33 am

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Imperial Princess

2:50am

A couple of days ago after I entered the previous entry, I thought and felt as if I was writing a letter to myself. Rather, maybe I was writing these thoughts down in case one day I lost my memory or maybe all these thoughts would act as a manual of sorts?

No I can’t really lie about this, even though my previous comment was still truthful. No I confess that it feels as though my previous two entries were trying to get the two sides of me to accept each other. Imagine a giant metal gate that leads to each world. Each world houses a different aspect of myself. One world is a hellish battlefield with constant unrest and the other world is a mellow place with lush rolling hills and nostalgic oceans. Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

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2008, April 12 – 3:19 am

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Realization

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Boyhood

11:55pm

I was just relaxing and holed out up in here for the entire day thinking about various things. Of course, I also engaged in some MSNing and phone conversations for work and watched roughly 5 hours worth of anime.

I’ve come to realize that there isn’t anything that can shock me. Rather, there isn’t anything that will be shocking for me. Some things be surprise me but even then, I don’t think it really affects me that much. I mean with the obvious things aside, I think I lack iniitial and direct empathy. Make sense? Read More »

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2008, April 9 – 12:47 am

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Comments Off

Stand Alone Complex II

9:24pm

Tune: “Je Te Rends Ton Amour” by Mylene Farmer
Drink: Yellowtail Shiraz & Orange/Malibu mix

Yes, I am trying to induce it but I’m having rotten luck.

About an hour and a half ago, I messaged Jon on MSN and we talked about snow, Myrtle Beach, New York City, the Autoshow, some games, his new laptop, and his mom.

About 10 minutes, I put down my headphones and picked up my phone and was about to call Albert but decided against it. I wanted to ask him if he would listen to my story – my thoughts but I could not bring myself to do it. Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

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2008, April 3 – 10:03 pm

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Visions & Family

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Leeman can be an ass sometimes, but…

10:49am

…it’s not unwarranted.

Yes, yes, I know. Sometimes I do make caustic remarks that may upset those with very sensitive hearts but sometimes, I seriously just don’t want to hold back.

Earlier, someone asked for Mount speeds at a forum I frequent. Mount speeds for a multiplayer game I play. If I was truly helpful, I would have been nice and just told him/her straight out without any sarcasm. Alas, I find that I can’t help but be sarcastic towards those that lack common sense.

His/her thread opener went like this:

I’m having trouble finding a reference to how fast the different mounts are. Regular vs fast… then compared to epic and flying.

Does anyone have a link to such a resource?

Thanks in advance.

I knew that s/he was sincerely disabled as a new player, but my response had nothing to do with whether s/he was new or not. It had to do mainly with that s/he lacked the common sense to find that information on his/her own, as it IS a common inquiry that can be found on the game’s web site. So I replied with:

“FREE Levelling & Useful WoW Resources (March/22th)” ring a bell?

Popularity: 11% [?]

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2008, March 24 – 11:01 am

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Inspirational

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America's Glory

5:13am

Recently, a thread was posted up on Yahoo! Answers with the following message:

Does any one else have problems with America?

And i live in the UK, not the US. Thank god. And yes. many other countries have their problems but they arent THE most important country in the world. thats what makes me angry.all the blinded patriotic naive sh*t that happens (which tends to happen in places that arent the coast because they are less likely to have experienced any view which is not that of the ‘american dream’ bullcrap, and i go there every summer , ignoramus, im half american, so YES i do know about the culture.

Of course, the thread generated a lot of replies. Read More »

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2008, March 24 – 5:19 am

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Ulterior Motives

6:16pm

Sincerity is nice and honored. However, when I posted an ad on Craigslist for a female companion in the form of pure platonic friendship, I did not expect anything further to form from friendship. Rather, I did not use the friendship ad to alternatively seek out a girlfriend or possible sexual relationship of sorts. From my post, I am sure I made it quite clear as to what I was looking for. Alas it wasn’t the case. It seems that the W4M and M4W section are truly for people with hidden motives, or rather, no-so-hidden motives.

I will confess that I am a horny perverted 29 year old but that doesn’t mean that I am insincere in accepting sincere friendships. I go through a few dozen ads on Craigslist in the W4M section of the Platonic section and reply to some of those ads, but I only receive responses once for every five or six emails I sent out. Like my stance in people asking for help at forums and friends and family asking for help, I always give a response. I remember Albert once remarked that no matter how ridiculous or how miniscule a question or comment may be, I seem to respond to 99% of the things asked of me. Read More »

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2008, March 1 – 7:40 pm

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First Come, First Serve

So there are 2 asian guys in a restroom and they are both masturbating. The waiter comes and says “WTH?!? Why r u mbing?!?”

One replies “I’m velly hungully.”

The waiter says “So?! But why?!?!”

The asian points to a sign, “First come first serve.”

Credited to Man Cheang for telling me this joke while waiting for an instance run in WoW.

^_~

8:34pm

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2008, February 29 – 9:34 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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10 Questions For Smart Educated Christians

I have never spoken with a Christian that either don’t go around in circles with their faith or simply don’t have a clue on the thing they believe in, no matter how intelligent they are. Some of the Christians I’ve spoken to believe that prayer is not supposed to grant wishes, but rather, to seek comfort in ‘knowing’ that everything is all a part of their god’s plan. A plan, that they apparently do know about, yet can’t answer any questions pertaining to that same plan.

This frustrates me, because for most other things, these same people apply logic and rationality, yet when it comes to their ‘faith’, they cannot answer anything unless they personally interpret it from other interpretations AND they cherry pick things from their scriptures with glorious analness. Therefore, it ‘makes sense’ to them because through their personal and external interpretations, they make up a myriad of assumptions on a literal AND non-literal way on what should and should not be done.

When it comes down to it, the one thing that they all at the very least agree on, is that it’s all about faith. Well, the SS had faith in Hitler to create the perfect Aryan world. They followed his commands like Christians follow their faith.

11:30pm

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2008, February 27 – 12:31 am

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Inspirational

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Taking Things For Granted

4:12am

My sleep schedule, as always, is screwed up. I went to bed around 7:30pm and got up finally at 3am. In between, I woke up once. So there were two dreams I had that I remembered both of which were very unsettling.

The first dream had to do with losing my brother. Both my parents were still alive but throughout the entire dream, I felt utter loneliness, as if the one thing I adore the most has left without even a goodbye. Though I still had my parents, my connection with my brother was different. Read More »

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2008, February 19 – 6:08 am

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Macross Frontier – At A Glance

6:30am

Look what I stumbled upon? Delicious isn’t it?

Popularity: 11% [?]

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2008, February 18 – 7:31 am

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Inspirational

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Having Fun With Nuns

5:33am

^^ It was a nice cake.

This entry is roughly half a month overdue, but better late than never I guess.

Prior to a yummy birthday dinner my mom made Sunday Jan 13th, Benny took me out on the 11th to The Foggy Dew on #5 for a pitcher of Sleeman’s Honey Lager and some snacks. We talked mainly about naughty stuffs and a little about work. It was a fun and simple night. Then a day after the dinner at home, Laura showed up unexpectingly with two things that gave me a smile and a laugh. Read More »

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Published:

2008, February 5 – 6:38 am

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Bunches Of Oats

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Hong Kong 2007 – Part 3 of 3

1:56pm

Sorry. My long awaited entry for the last Hong Kong 2007 photo entry set took awhile. However, here it is in all it’s glorious might! ^o^

Hong Kong 2007 – The City That Never Sleeps – CLICK HERE
Hong Kong 2007 – Part 1 of 3 – CLICK HERE
Hong Kong 2007 – Part 2 of 3 – CLICK HERE
Hong Kong 2007 – Part 3 of 3 – CLICK HERE

^^ This is the crossover station between the KCR and MTR lines at Tai Wai. My 5th Aunt lives about 15 to 20 minute walking distance from there. Read More »

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2008, February 4 – 2:58 pm

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Sports & Traveling

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Getting Ahead

6:31am

Sounds pretty obvious eh?

I’m not much for sitting on a couch and watching sports that go around in circles like sports car racing, or ball games where the ball is being passed around. I find watching them quite a dull. I mean, after you’ve watched the 10th basketball game, how are the next hundred going to be any different from the first two games? So if you ever catch me watching basketball, hockey, football, Formula One, and/or Cricket, it’s because A) I was/am not really watching and more like thinking about something completely different, B) thinking about something completely different and occasionally ridiculing the point of watching the same thing over and over again, C) I was with other company and they enjoy that sort of thing and I so happened to be there, D) it was either that or an Evangelist ranting on about how the end is near, E) it was either that or watching porn while sensitive company is in the near vicinity, and/or finally F) I’m researching for work.

I hate researching stuff for work, but it beats watching an Evangelist preaching something counteractive to ’sup baat sui bok bok chui’. Don’t hit me! [points westward over the ocean] He taught me! He did!

/ahem Read More »

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2008, February 4 – 7:23 am

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Sports & Traveling

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Vision Without Action is a Daydream

2:38am

There’s a lot of things I would like to try and have tried some of those things. I continue to try to see if I can do some of those things, but something inside here [points to my chest] stops me at the last moment and sometimes, circumstance stops my choices from materializing. A heavenly coincidence is the best I can term it. Nevertheless, I’m lucky to have the universe influence the obstacles in my life like this.

On top of that, everyone including my family and those who know me well enough know that I am quite an impulsive person when it comes to wanting to do something. Some of you may not have experienced with that because I do have reservations depending on certain things. This part of me shows up coinciding ’slow change’, which this entry is really about. Read More »

Popularity: 13% [?]

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2008, February 3 – 5:29 am

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Something Wicked This Way Comes

2:39pm

The dream started with an ‘alternate’ scene from one of the Ghost Busters movies with all four of the original cast standing in the middle of what looked like a deserted construction yard. They were all together holding a ghost containment unit that looked heavy and unstable. I wasn’t quite there in person, but I was in the perspective of a ‘floating camera’. Venkmen said something that horrified me. He wanted to re-contain the ghosts inside the contain unit into what looked like a flimsy greenhouse attached to the containment unit. I thought, “Why would you do that to something so dangerous?” Before anyone thought of stopping him, he released the unit and the greenhouse filled up rapidly. This was also when I turned from the ‘floating camera’ to an actual person. Read More »

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Published:

2008, January 29 – 4:20 pm

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Dreams

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Hong Kong 2007 – Part 2 of 3

10:38am

Hong Kong 2007 – The City That Never Sleeps – CLICK HERE
Hong Kong 2007 – Part 1 of 3 – CLICK HERE
Hong Kong 2007 – Part 2 of 3 – CLICK HERE
Hong Kong 2007 – Part 3 of 3 – CLICK HERE

^^ On the morning of Xmas Eve, I received a knock from Room Service who again, ignored my “PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB” sign hanging on the knob outside. I told him to go away politely. Then came a second knock and it was Room Service again with some other person who was delivering Xmas cakes to all the hotel guests. It wasn’t that good, but it wasn’t that bad either. However, I thought it was a nice gesture from the hotel. Read More »

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2008, January 3 – 11:38 am

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Sports & Traveling

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Twilight Memories

8:35am

Tune: “Nocturne” by Secret Garden
Drink: Ginseng Tea

I once saw a photo of a nude woman suspended in an ocean. I wanted to purchase that framed photo, but at the time, $180 US was a bit steep for me. As well, there isn’t a place in the house I can quite hang it up for maximum effect. That picture was beautiful because the ocean is a place I cannot venture into, but it would be the closest thing possible for me to feel freedom, even within the confinements of that sea.

When I was alone, to meditate, even when I was not alone, to meditate, I found, or rather, I exposed parts of my inner self to the self-awareness part of me that want to touch the hidden emotions and thoughts, and the results were quite ridiculous. Even now, I meditate on those results. Read More »

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2008, January 3 – 8:59 am

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Hong Kong 2007 – Part 1 of 3

1:36am HKT

Hong Kong 2007 – The City That Never Sleeps – CLICK HERE
Hong Kong 2007 – Part 1 of 3 – CLICK HERE
Hong Kong 2007 – Part 2 of 3 – CLICK HERE
Hong Kong 2007 – Part 3 of 3 – CLICK HERE

Tune: “Eyes Are At The Billions” by Cortney Tidwell
Drink/Food: Hot Water/Dark Chocolate Xmas Cake

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

^^ At Wah Wing Dimsum in the morning before our flight.

Unlike last year’s trip to Hong Kong, I didn’t feel much for this one, this time around. At least last year’s, right off the bat, I had some cultural experiences from day 1. This year, right off the bat, it felt like a hectic version of my life in Vancouver – no career-related work, but lots of walking – not good for flat feet.

^^ The salt-water aquarium display inside the Vancouver International Airport. Read More »

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Published:

2007, December 24 – 1:11 pm

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Sports & Traveling

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Hong Kong 2007 – The City That Never Sleeps

10:30pm

Tune: “Traveler” by Rhian Sheehan
Drink: Blue Ice Beer

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Has the view ever been better? Never. That’s because I’ve never had a view with a better view, nor a view that is equally as good. Which in clarity means the view is mediocre.

^^ View from my suite – Floor/Room: 9/35. Royal Park Hotel in Shatin. 4 Stars. Damn it to hell 10th floor rennovations until midnight, but compared to The Venetian in Macau, I prefer this place MUCH more. ^^

My feelings at the moment are more refinely perturbed than ever before. There has been many thoughts within thoughts within thoughts. A majority of my awareness wishes to share these thoughts here, but the ruling minority abruptly declares a simple “denied”. Read More »

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2007, December 21 – 9:08 am

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A Voice Like Yours

11:49pm

Tune: “Sarabande Suite (Aeternae)” by Globus
Drink: Paarl Ruby Port

I had a vision, where I was completely clad in plate armour and I had a claymore drawn towards the sky. Then in one swift move, I stabbed myself through the chest, as the army moved beyond me for their own war. Then I drifted off and was reborn a peasant. As I picked cabbages, I looked at my dirty hands and had a massive feeling of sadness that I miss something lost to me. Over the days, nights, weeks, months and years, for every sun-down, upon the fire, I had thoughts of fighting huge wars, for a king that I deemed worthy, and a life fulfilling. At night, I dreamt of someone soft, who conjured a smile just for me. At sunrise, I tend to my animals and my plants and wonder where I got the strength.

I wonder, people should live simpler lives. Where they aren’t completely aware of themselves. Where they live life, day in, day out, to do what they do, for what the universe sets out for them to do. I am constantly aware of myself. It is indeed, very difficult. I can see myself peering out of my body. I can feel that I need to be released, but I cannot.

Tonight, I will drink until I can drink no more. I took my dad to the airport on Tuesday for his flight to Hong Kong. Mmm, this song is good.

Tune: “Heavy Intro” by Talvin Singh featuring Amar

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

I bought this CD a few years ago. Had it converted to MP3. Haven’t heard this for a long time. I think you will like this Michelle. What do you think of when you listen to it?

Who wants to travel with me next year? I want to do some solo or partner travelling next year somewhere. I am thinking of India or Burma.

A lot of times, I want to stay in my own little world. It keeps me away from the things I am passionately against, or passionately in disagreement with. For example, I can’t think too straight right now. [laughs]

Jon, to make up for buying such a bad game – though hey, it’s not that bad; erm, I FOUND AND BOUGHT GTR2 and RACE 07!!!!! OMGOD I can’t wait until I come back from Hong Kong to play them! They’re being mailed to Jason’s place.

Anyway, back on topic…

No, nevermind. I broke the habit of starting unwanted sentences and abruptly stopping half way. Another missing piece.

Anyone can play an instrument, but not everyone can soothe my senses with their voice.

12:15am

Popularity: 12% [?]

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2007, December 7 – 1:15 am

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Bloody Delicious

10:44pm

Just spent the last 2 hours trying to get 3 images to print. Let’s just say, it wasn’t successfully clear. So after installing HP’s printer drivers on my lapdog, and ‘porting’ the HTML from Oasis’ web site into Dreamweaver to correctly create an HTML page, I managed to print out the new seat designations. I say, if those fools who created the Oasis’ web site can simply make it easy for us non-IE users, it would simply and utterly be fabulous.

Now I have to go and solve another mystery. Some travel agents can be such retards.

Anyway, I have been ’struggling’ the last little while on my usual tastes for Asian/Asian-descendent women over non-Asian/Asian-descendent women. Looking back on my past, it was a lot of friggin work… What is that sound?

[goes and checks]

Ah, I turned off my music and noticed it was the sound of a vein ‘pumping’. At the moment, I’m feeling a bit of:

- stress
- irritation/mild anger
- tiredness/sleepiness
- cranky/shortened temper

No, it wasn’t just from the retarded booking, but other things as well. Read More »

Popularity: 12% [?]

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2007, December 7 – 12:45 am

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Representing

8:25am

I had a dream this morning where I was going to school somewhere. The teacher was supposed to be Mr. Whittingham, except that a substitute was teaching in his place, and even though the course was Social Studies, it seemed that I was a ’special’ student there that had the authority to set my own schedule.

That part of the dream was mainly set in a specific area that looked like the backyard of an older house. The class was on the bottom floor and was accessed via the back entrance. I remember I was somewhere thinking a bit left out that the other students were segregated from me, but I also tried to humble myself by staying away from them believing that if I stayed out of sight, they wouldn’t think I was trying to be a snob that was getting special treatment. Read More »

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Published:

2007, December 1 – 9:46 am

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Vanilla Sky

1:24pm

Vanilla Sky was a really good movie with a really sad undertone. I’ve had thoughts about that, even before I watched that movie. [thinks a bit] Imagine that eh?

Originally, this entry was made a couple of days ago, but with sleepiness creeping up on me, I saved it and came back on it now. There is a coincidence here that I found amusing.

My mom bought a box of Quaker Chewy’s from Costco a few weeks ago. They’re really yummy, though a bit too sweet. Since then, I would randomly pick one from a glass container, and it would always either be Blueberry or Strawberry flavoured. I wondered, “I thought there are more types!”

On Sunday night, Spongey came over and had a two and a half hour chat over Guava Juice, Blueberry Juice, and some Veggy Chips. I brought the container of Chewy’s up to my room and realized that the entire thing was filled with Vanillia flavoured Chewy’s. I thought, “Why were all the vanilla ones here? Huh? How did that happen?”

Anyway, if you catch my drift, I find it coincidentally humorous. If not, go back to bed. This is a dream. [waves hands around]

1:29pm

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, November 21 – 2:29 pm

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Neglected Or Reflected?

2:28pm

Ack! I have to leave for my meeting in 11 minutes! So quickly…

I had a ‘weird’ dream just before I woke up. I hate it when the feeling of the ‘good’ part always get disrupted with alarms. So inconvenient!

It was at some university or college. I was wandering around and ended up at a stadium, in the bleachers. With my notebook, I wrote a bunch of my thoughts in there. Then later on, I met up with my girlfriend who was a cute-ish half caucasian, half Chinese-descendent with shoulder-length hair. She wore glasses and took her studies quite seriously. It didn’t seem like I was a student there at all though.

We were at some room, sitting on the floor with other people, and I remembered putting my left arm around her waist and poked her side. She turned towards me and I whispered to her, “You have time during recess or a break?”

She told me she had to do something, so I asked her if she had time during lunch, and she said she had to study for her exam. I didn’t persist further.

Somehow, we ended up on the bus, and Aaron was sitting to my right. No, not Sutherland. Somehow, the conversation got to Aaron telling us that if it was him, he wouldn’t be dating if his career or his school was taking up a lot of his time. He wasn’t directing it at us, but it sounded that way. After he finished, my in-dream girlfriend turned to me and had a glance of something I wrote in my notebook. I closed it before she read anything though. She asked me if I will let her read her notebook like before, later, and I just kind of looked down hesitant. That was when I woke up.

I didn’t think much about it, cuz I have to go now.

2:41pm

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, November 18 – 3:41 pm

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Dreams

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Bill Clinton, My Favorite Leader

When he was elected and become America’s president, I didn’t think much of it. Then he did stuff that helped the U.S. economy, to improve foreign relationships, and achieved a surplus instead of the usual debt previous presidents had. When people tried to impeach him, and tried to make him look bad just cuz he received head and had sexual relations with some girl, I thought, “Seriously, who the fuck really cares about something so insignificant?! He’s a great president, and a great leader. That’s really all that matters.”

It’s so shitty that people of America elected Bush Jr. afterwards, and what was worst, was that they re-elected him for a 2nd term. Mr. Clinton, why don’t you come over to Canada and run for Prime Minister? [wink]

1:38am

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, November 18 – 2:45 am

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Categories:

Inspirational

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All That Glitters, Is Not Gold

6:03am

Tune: “Preliator” by Globus

Typing/writing while having some song blast in the background isn’t quite the same as when reading the same entry, because one tend to concentrate less on the words of the entry and divert a part of that attention to the song itself.

Not always, but this song has lyrics.

Good song though.

So this got me thinking after I thought back on a segment of my conversation with Jon last night while at Dozo’s. At my ripen age of 28, nearing 29, the top 5 questions I get asked the most often in a period between our first introduction to our third meeting by interested females are – in no particular order:

1) What do you do for a living?
2) Do you live by yourself?
3) Are you close with your parents?
4) What is your blood type?
5) Do you like [insert species of human - eg: caucasian] women?

These questions come during and after being physically, psychologically, and intellectually attracted. I usually try to avoid question 1. As for question 4, I don’t keep track of my blood type, because firstly, why would I? And second, it wouldn’t matter anyway.

As for question 5, once they ask that sort of question, it becomes quite obvious as to where they are going, but I can’t lie about it.

For question 2 and 3, I always give a prior smirk before answering. However, for those who know me from elsewhere and come here as a lurker, I will tell you that I am indeed close with my mom at the least, and I will protect her and look after my family no matter what. As for do I live by myself? No, I live with my parents.

Now my thoughts coinciding #2 and #3… Read More »

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2007, November 16 – 8:32 am

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A Bundle Of Noodles

4:24am

Last night, I had the best sex in long while. It started in the car, while it was raining outside. The windows were steaming up, as I ran my hand up her thighs and into her panties. She had this ‘glitter’ in her eyes, like willing watery eyes. Both her hands were on either side of me, as I leaned in, gave her a peck on her soft lips, then looked at her to confirm that I can go further…

[pauses to think]

[lets out a deep sigh]

No, not last night, but it definitely was awhile ago. Sometimes, I wonder if I really did lose my touch. That’s what being in a non-casual relationship, followed by a demanding career, lack of restful sleep and exercise does… However, what really happened last night was fun that I haven’t had for months. MONTHS!

^^ Jon making a pouty face at Dozo Izakaya. The place had a really nice atmosphere. It was a Korean, Chinese, and Japanese restaurant that played the type of music you would find on my hard drive and CD collection, like Cafe Del Mar, Afterlife, Moby, etc. Read More »

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2007, November 16 – 5:53 am

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Bunches Of Oats

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Top Gear Showdown!

6:31am

No, not even, but it would have been cool to be able to play Grand Turismo 5 somehow.

^^ Can you believe he actually lost weight? Yeah, he did. He looked lanky. Like moi! ^_^

So Mister Buttfullofgas dropped by around 8:30pm last night. He caught me in the middle of an email unfortunately, and a phone call, so we didn’t actually leave until roughly 9:20pm. He played Need For Speed Most Wanted, while I got ready. He ACTUALLY lost a 3 Lap Circuit to 3rd! [sighs] How could you!?!? Read More »

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2007, November 14 – 8:28 am

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Bunches Of Oats

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Green Eggs & Doll Noodles

…with mostly cooked brocoli.

It’s good.

6:22am

I HANDED MY TIER 2 WORK IN JUST NOW! Woohoo!

My gosh, between 5pm yesterday to roughly 6:15am today, I’ve had about an hour break. That’s including dinner, snacks, dicking around, and multitasking an entry that I de-published a few minutes ago.

I know it’s nothing compared to the amount of work my other team mates do, but I like to know that I can still work under pressure, with barely any sleep, and hungry.

If you could tell someone anything, what would it be?

That is such a broad question. However, to answer it nevertheless, I would have to say I need a drink. I mean, I need a drink right now, cuz this stuff is really salty and I’m dehydrated. Hold on…

Mmm, blueberry juice…

…ah spilled blueberry juice down the front of my shirt.

“If I could tell someone anything, what would it be?” Hmmm……. I can think of a lot of stuff to say to a lot of people.

June: Thank you.

Jon: You should take over the world sooner than later. Please bang my wife.

You know? It’s difficult. However, I shall email you a reply on what I would really say and to whom. However the ones here are quite accurate as well. A few more…

Pat: I remember our childhood together. It was fun. Though we had our oddities here and there throughout the last 20 years and about 2 months, it’s cool that by ‘accident’ through your dad, that we met up again. Remember that thing I said about the back of my left nut? I can still remember it cracked you up for more than an hour that night. Just thinking back on that makes me laugh.

However, you know, I think if I had to choose one person ever, so far that I know of, to say something to, to say anything to, I would probably choose… Hmmm…

You know, this makes me think of this thing I’ve been thinking about for a long time. It’s about choosing to never move my company to Pacific Plaza and just sticking with what we had, thus failure was minimal, but never would I have the chance to meet Virginia, June, Jessica, and a whole slew of other people like James, Cygnie, Andy, and even Albert again. If I had chosen to stick with my original company, where would I be today? What type of person would I have become? How many things would I have missed out?

Passing fancies, mind you.

It’s a simple question with a difficult idea. Can’t think with no sleep.

6:54am

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2007, November 9 – 7:34 am

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Visions & Family

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A View I Haven't Seen

6:24am

“Damn it Jim! I’m a miracle worker! Not a doctor!” Were the words of Jon during one of our nightly role playing games back in the days. [laughs]

Tune: “Pulse” by Yoko Kanno
Drink: Fonseca Bin 27 Port

I’ll have to go and get some more this Friday. I’ll probably get two or three bottles this time around. I might try something new.

I was just thinking, have any of you desired to go out on a bang? No, not sexually fool! Meaning, well you know what I mean. Read More »

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2007, November 7 – 7:36 am

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Good Night

3:46am

The Fonseca really hits the spot. Especially when it was chilled beforehand. ^_^

For the last three days, I thought about my relationship with my soon-to-be 10 year old cousin Brandon. During the summer, I watched this anime called “Aishiteruze Baby”. It’s about a 5 year old girl who’s dad died and the mother lost confidence in herself to raise the child on her own, and disappeared. So she was picked up by her elder aunt and the responsibility of looking after her was given to the aunt’s 17 year old son.

Since I finished it, I re-watch random episodes almost every day. It’s a really really really good anime. It’s different than the ones I use to watch back in high schoo. Nowadays, I’m totally for family-related comedy. Light hearted and silly, but not over-dramatic.

My cousin Brandon calls my house almost every night, mainly to talk with my mom, and occasionally with me. He tells me all sorts of things. Read More »

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2007, November 6 – 5:34 am

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Visions & Family

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The Context Of Love And Cheating

11:44am

Tune: “Kokoro no Kakera” by Hirasawa Hiroko (Tanaka Ryouko)
Mood: Friggin aching every where
Drink: Warm honey water

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NO MORE WINE tonight.

A couple of days ago, someone emailed me with her relationship-related problems. Don’t worry, I won’t reveal her name here.

She was married but in an outside intimate relationship with someone else who was also married. After half a year, she finds that she still has lingering emotions for the man she had an affair with. She asked me with my limited knowledge of her situation if her ex-lover genuinely loved her or simply using her for sex, and how she can move on without feeling sad.

This was what I said to her: Read More »

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2007, October 31 – 12:08 pm

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Love Economics

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A Strange Dream, Yet Again…

10:57am

Yeah, noticed that time? I barely got any sleep. My eyes are achingly dry. Went downstairs about 30 minutes ago for a full cup of milk. The Port earlier dried me out.

I had a dream where I think it started on some river – the Fraser River on a calm day? Early summer evening or late morning? I was looking at a pier and thought that it would be a lot safer and smarter to build it this way – “this” being what I was thinking about while I was dreaming. Then we came closer to another pier and thought, “If only they built it like how I would build them, then things would be safer.”

We weren’t really on a boat, or rather, I wasn’t quite aware that we were on anything. We = Jon and I. This part was freaky. We made out and had babies.

Weird eh?

[ponders]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[ahem]

No.

No, so we got off the ‘invisible’ boat and before us was this small dark green inflatable boat with a wooden transport platform – I don’t know what they are called, but it’s those wooden plank things that lifts use…………. Read More »

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2007, October 31 – 11:17 am

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Dreams

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With Wine In My Heart, I Dedicate This Post To My Parents

2:42am

Tune: “I Do” by Ilaria Graziano
Drink: Fonseca Bin 27 Port

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There has always been one picture from our family photo albums that I can not get out of my mind, and I just realized I need more wine…

Life’s blood.

Thinking on that one picture, it’s at Stanley Park when I was about a year old. My mom was sitting on the stones where the seawalk is. She was holding me, and my dad was the one taking the picture. It was a beautiful sunny day with the Lion’s Gate Bridge and Cypress Mountain in the background. The scenerio was near the mini lighthouse with the dragon cannon. I think that’s where it was.

They don’t know that I have all these thoughts and stuffs, but I’m not one to share that side of me to them. It will only worry them.

I don’t know. Sometimes, I wish I can grant them the ultimate wish, and I don’t want their wish to be based around what best for me and my brother. My brother can definitely take care of himself, and I will save money in case he ever needs it. For my parents, I wish that they would choose something for themselves. I mean, yeah… Read More »

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2007, October 31 – 3:02 am

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Visions & Family

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The More It Happens…

1:37am

To break out of my religious rants lately and back into Leemanism, I was just thinking throughout the day that there are things that has been stopping the ‘progression’ of certain situations from happening in the last year since I came back from Hong Kong, but before I continue, a tune for you…

Tune: “Kishida Shun” From Kakyuusei 2
Drink: Fonseca Bin 27 Port

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A couple of nights ago, I received a call at 2 in the morning. The offer was very tempting, and unfortunately, I agreed to it. Fortunately however, considering a circumstance, the action didn’t go through. So as I layed in bed that morning, trying to fall asleep, I thought that it was fortunate that it didn’t happen.

As this year gets closer to my trip to Hong Kong again, things keep popping up. There are all these temptations, and my mind and body is completely split in terms of desire and holding back. To say the least, I feel stupid for making up excuses, but I want to make up excuses to stop myself from committing any actions that may lead me astray. Sounds off eh? Astray? Leeman?

It’s difficult to admit this, but what I used to be able to do, is not easily doable as I age. It’s not that I am incapable. It’s because I can’t justify doing any of them. Yes, it’s fun talking and chatting away to the wee hours of the night, flirting and talking dirty as the night goes on, but I almost feel as if it’s enough to just know that I can.

Jon, does that sound familiar? Except you were at least 4 years ahead of me… Read More »

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2007, October 31 – 2:40 am

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The Man In The Desert

3:41am

Tune: “The Man In The Desert” by Yoko Kanno
Mood: Feels like I am waiting for something or someone
Drink: Fonseca Bin 27 Port

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Ever had a dream that naturally flows into the transition of waking up, in which the end result is you lying in bed, facing up, looking at the ceiling, but not really looking at anything, with your eyes open, but as if you’ve just finished a very long and engrossing book and you’re thinking about it. Kind of like coming out of the ’shock’ of an awesome story?

I had a dream where I treked across a desert. It was difficult to breath and it was difficult to walk. The wind was constantly against me. The sand storms were massive, and I constantly had to look through the slits of my eyelids. At first, there was no one with me. Days, weeks, months probably went by. I was alone and I walked, and walked, and kept walking. I fell to my knees a few times, but I didn’t feel physically tired. I felt mentally tired.

I walked over vast dunes, over oceans of wavering sand that stretched beyond the horizon. It was the most difficult dream ever, but I walked it all. Where as in other dreams, I could only walk inches. In this one, I walked possibly thousands of miles.

My face became more and more hairy. My face became more and more tired. I started to get gray and white hairs. The sides of my eyes and the sides of my mouth started to get wrinkles.

Then I stopped suddenly.

Tune: “Lydia” by Yoko Kanno

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I stopped, with the focus on my tired old face, looking out at whatever I was staring at. It was bright, sandy, and windy. I was covered with desert robes and rags.

Then without further thought, I continued to walk. I realized I was no longer alone. A boy in rags and desert robes was also treking alongside me. I ignored him completely. He fell back a few times, even almost giving up, but always managed to catch up enough. I didn’t think anything.

I craved wine in that dream. I eventually thought how wonderful if I could rest somewhere and have wine. I wanted wine. So I stopped and the boy stopped behind me. I looked up a bit, then I took my head-rags off and looked 360 degrees around me. I turned to the boy and now I was the ‘3rd view’ from far away, and see the silohuette of the boy and I standing on top of a dune with the sun in the background.

Tune: “This Eden” by Yoko Kanno

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Then it was me again. I landed on my knees and he was my exact height as he stood in front of me. I looked passed him, across his shoulders and noticed it was dark way back there. Then my eyes slowly glanced over to meet his eyes and his face, and noticed how youthful he was. I said to him, “If you follow me, you will know only aloneness. At times, you will want to give up, but you never do, because no matter how tiring, you will have a desire to keep going. Don’t follow me.”

At that moment, I was semi-aware that I was dreaming, but not enough to take control. However, with some power from that awareness, I created a bottle of homemade wine and my character gave it to the boy. I remember saying after he took it, “This is the only thing I have. Take it and go.” Then I continued walking. I never looked back after that. I didn’t know whether that boy continued to follow me or not, but when I woke up from that dream, I realized I stared at the ceiling for a long time thinking – more like continuing that dream while being awake.

Tune: “Is It Real?” by Yoko Kanno

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On a completely unrelated subject but somehow related to this topic, Michelle sent me this the other day:

We are all connected each and every single one of us. The soul is the glue of the universe,its not just sticky glue,its intelligent, everything looks out for everything else. And everything is in harmony with the world. The soul is like an arm full of roses ,when reduced to its purest form, you have its essence.Its strange that this essence is hard to find,because it is inside and around us all making sure that everything is connected. Did you know everytime you breath you take in millions of atoms breathed out from someone in say China? Those atoms were in another body circulating in the blood or building cell or perhaps making a baby. Without knowing it,you are connected to a baby who hasn’t even been born yet.The water in your body has the same salt and mineral content as the ocean,which means you are carring the ocean arround inside you. The skin cells that you rubbed off on your towel this morning when you stepped out the shower contain molecules that were once in the body of Jesus and Buddha and every other ancestor from the past.

I adore how her thoughts closely resembles mine when it comes to life and philosophy.

4:48am

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2007, October 30 – 4:42 am

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Shallow Life

4:27am

Tune: “I Do” by Ilaria Graziano
Drink: Fonseca Bin 27 Port

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On Friday, I bought two bottles of Port. The first one is Taylor Fladgate Special Reserve and the other, Fonseca Bin 27 Port. As I age, I’ve noticed that my preference in Port has also ‘aged’.

I heard this song from Ghost In The Shell SAC2. It’s a good tune, fitting for the story of that particular episode. Whenever I think about that episode, I think that I am in the ‘wrong’ time. With my philosophical visions, I should belong in a time when… [grins] It doesn’t matter really.

I was thinking as I poured myself a glass of this fine Port about what someone said to me last year, that my parents shouldn’t put pressure on my life and get themselves independently away from me. In other words, so I can have my own life. However, the last decade leading up to this point, what she said was easily answered in my thoughts almost immediately.

It would be nice to have that extra $2000 per month in my savings or pocketed. I can move out, buy my own car, start doing some of the things I really want to do like travel to Japan and ride from the North to the South with Pat, or maybe gather a group of friends and travel around the world for a month or two. I can then live the life I’ve ‘always’ wanted, experience the things I’ve always desired.

It’s nice to wonder about what could have been – sometimes. Read More »

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2007, October 23 – 5:01 am

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Visions & Family

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Glossy Memories

5:15am

Tune: “Power of Sound” by Ace

I have to wake up at 11am today for work, so I have to keep this short. I’ve been listening to this track on and off for a couple of days now, but I heard it before a few months ago when I was really into Initial D. I recently got back into it, and is in the process of rewatching the Fourth Stage.

As I was watching it, and listening to the track, a few ‘memories’ resurfaced. It’s hard to explain, but those ‘memories’ resurfaced with a very subtle hint of the emotions attached to those ‘memories’. I am putting quotations on “memories” because those memories are very vague.

Imagine a street scene, in Hong Kong or somewhere similar. Quiet night in the area, but noisy in the distance. The street is bright and lit up by yellowish orange lights from above. The street is dry but the surface is a little glossy. The street is empty. There is a car behind me, playing this tune or a similar tune. It has a fast beat to it. It’s a dance song (none of that shit that we have now mind you). Even if it’s a dance song, there’s quite a bit of emotion attached to it. Hard to explain.

Well, that’s all I’m going to say about the scene. I brought it up cuz I see it in my ‘memory’, and I am trying to hold onto that memory and those emotions, as vague as they may be. Why? Because I no longer have those emotions. I haven’t felt that way for years. I think the last time I felt those sort of emotions was back before 2001. Maybe even in 1999, or 1998?

I can’t close my eyes either and think. It disappears faster. [chuckles] It’s fading, but I can still see it. It reminds me of those nights, those friggin cold nights. We can’t go back to those days and nights, but I can always try to remember them.

BTW, I got your Top Gear email Jon. Will reply in a day. Just mentioning it here, cuz I’m excited. Series 10!!! WOOHOO!

5:28am

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2007, October 17 – 5:28 am

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Stand Alone Complex

4:03am

Tune: “I Do” by Ilaria Graziano
Mood: Sexy, haha, no
Drink: Tropicana Orange Juice w/Pulp (Mmm yummy)

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Last night, someone called me while I was in an online conference call, and hastily told her I will treat her to AYCE sushi at Tokyo Ichiban. This night, after sushi, we went to the airport and had some hot chocolate while we chat about stuff. Along the way, she ‘forced’ me to say whether I am attracted to her or not. Now, I can lie or make a fib, but I always seem to have a hard time lying or fibbing about things that has more meaning. Make sense? I mean, if you asked me whether I like your pink and bright green t-shirt with hippos in dresses or not, and I said, “Yeah looks, ah looks cute” – obviously, I am lying there. However, if you were to ask me “What do you think of me?” and I seriously don’t find you attractive, it would be very difficult for me to say that you look cute, okay, average, or anything like that. I just can’t lie, and when I do, I feel bad about it. Not because I lied, but because it wasn’t truthful. I know I know, it’s the same thing, but how to put it?

There is exaggerated truth, and there is somewhat truthful. For stuff like that, I can say something somewhat truthful if I thought she was a little attractive, but she clearly wasn’t nor will she ever be. Read More »

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2007, October 15 – 5:02 am

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My Thanks To Women – The Emotional Core

11:16pm

Women, without you, we will lose out on so much. We work hard for ourselves and our families. In all our varying degrees, we strive for different things – things that can harden us, and stress us out over time. Sometimes, this stress and the frustrations can turn us astray, and sometimes, we become bastards, players, and lone scouts like myself. I think without women, us men would have had a very difficult time getting through life. We wouldn’t know the softer side of things. We wouldn’t know that there was a possibility of comfort and emotional refuge with you. We wouldn’t have ever found and felt the great physical comfort and pleasure you give us.

Sometimes, we take you for granted. Sometimes, we don’t mean it. Sometimes you are the single-most important all-encompassing thing/person/object in our lives. Sometimes we don’t even recognize it, sadly.

You give us a place where we can put away our shields and store away our swords. You give us as place where we can sit down, relax, and hear you hum a tune. You give us the warmth when our hearts felt cold. You thawed our the anger and hatred we may have, as much as you can, even if your hands get frostbite.

I want to give you my all. I want my mind to open up, and my heart set free again. I want to show you my world, my perspectives, my views and opinions, but I also want to see your world, your perspectives, your views, and your opinions too. I don’t want sex to be just sex. I want my body to connect with yours, so you can feel what my mind desires for you, so you can look into my eyes, and realize that there is no other, and never will another take place.

There is no cage. There is no demand. There is no supression or control. You are who you are. You are free to do what you feel you want and need. I am merely your confidant. If you see me as your lover, then that is a reward that I might or might not deserve regardless. If you want to be exclusive to me and for me only, then that is a reward that I might or might not deserve regardless of what I may or may not have done for and with you. If you want to do things for and with me, then that is reward that I might or might not deserve regardless of how I may or may not have treated you.

All that I solely and really ask for is not your trust, nor your commitment, or your love, if ever. All I really and solely ask for, is that you tell me if ever you are dissatisfied and/or unhappy with you being with me. If you are really worth it, even if you don’t say it, I might have already changed it. Just try to see it, before you seal it. Sometimes, open communication doesn’t have to be verbal.

11:33pm

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2007, October 9 – 11:33 pm

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Half Satisfied, Or Lonely Forever (revised)

1:24am

To celebrate Michelle’s new entry, titled “Unconditional Love“, and also after I read my own entry and felt that it wasn’t really saying what I wanted to say. At least, the entry was all over the place and not quite to the point.

Over the last year and a bit, I’ve had the chance to meet new people – boys and girls between 21 and 42, 90% of them female. I went out with them, some became friends, others just faded with disinterest and other circumstances. I had the opportunity to turn a few of those connections into something more – either a fling or take it further and into a deeper more ‘meaningful’ relationship. However, as much as my libido wanted it and/or my emotional core desired it, I couldn’t bring myself to do much in both fields. It wasn’t like years ago where I met someone under a ’strange’ circumstance and hooked up. Since last year, I wasn’t exactly sure what it was that held me back. Some suggested it was insecurity because of my last relationship that went quite badly. Others suggested I ‘grew up’ and changed accordingly. My mom felt that I simply became sick of those type of girls and that reached out to every other type of girl in general.

[shrugs]

Over the last two years, I also had the chance to observe my friends and their relationships, and of course, before I ‘retired’ from DearCupid, I had the chance to talk with quite a few people to do with their problems and such and that opened up a lot of perspectives. What I realized over time was that I was simply not satisfied at all with anyone who I had the opportunity to meet, and even with people that I already knew and were interested in pursuing something deeper or casually.

So what was it that made me realized that? Well aside from all the direct and indirect experiences in the last decade and so, I just felt that what I truly want isn’t available. After having a bunch of girlfriends, flings, and other intimate-sort of ‘relationships’, I just came to my own summary of concepts and concluded that type of partner I desire. Read More »

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2007, October 7 – 2:41 am

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Love Economics

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Full Of Uncertainty

11:47pm

Tune: “Hishoku no Sora” by Kawada Mami
Drink: Taylor Fladgate Fine White Port

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When shit happens, do you let it bring you down? Of course, it’s natural to succumb to it negatively, but when it’s out of your control, you can either let it to continue to smother you or bring your heart out of that misery and just continue to do what you need to do, regardless. Yes, plans are good, and keep with them, but I can tell you that paranoia will only make it worst.

I can’t say I have gone through a lot. There are people out there who has seen war, crime, death, and unfairness happen to them. The world is like that, but we all conform to it, even for those who try not to – trying basically mean you are in it, but you’re trying to stand out or at least, not conform too much. People can argue that it is the media, but I don’t believe in the media as a separate entity. As people part of a common society, we are naturally influenced by various sources in varying degrees, but think for once: it’s not really about rebelling conformity. It’s about realization of yourself. We all conform, but are you willing to be yourself within the range of unifying with everyone else, or do you just want to be an outcast and exile away from humnanity? Read More »

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2007, September 13 – 12:55 am

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Visions & Family

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Holy Crunchy Nuts Batman!

4:23pm

Since this weekend is the ONLY two day weekend break I am having since many eons ago, I decided to look through MyOpera and found this on Aneeqa’s page called “A Play On Words”. I would also like to take this chance to plug Michelle’s MyOpera site:

http://my.opera.com/cricketsounds/blog/

1Q. Would you make a fool out of yourself in public if it meant you were making your partner laugh?
1A. It really depends on the occasion, mood, and my partner type.

2Q. Would you prefer the lights on or off during sex?
2A. I prefer them on, with a video camera, tripod, and good photo lamp lighting and mirrors setup. Candles, soft furry rug, satin bed sheets, white cotton straps, Tawny Port, and possibly some sex toys and light candy sprinkles would be there too.

3Q. Do you judge people solely by their musical preferences?
3A. I don’t judge people solely by their musical preferences, BUT I do partially judge a person by his or her musical preferences.

4Q. If you could ‘take back’ your virginity from your first partner, would you?
4A. Hehe, this really depends on what my future relationship looks like, but I would mainly say no I won’t. There are those who want to save themselves for their husbands and their wives in the future, but I find that in a polite way of saying it – quite immature to think like that. Making love, sex, fucking, sucking, and the whole shibang is pretty much a form of communication. If you think your first time will be like nothing in the entire universe in terms of emotional connection, when you’ve been through enough intimate partners and sexual experiences, that first time will never be nearly as great as the time when you make love for 5 hours straight, with 4 hours of foreplay, gentle caresses, tender moments, the “look into each other’s eyes” situations, etc, etc.

First time? Ha, yeah right. [wicked grin]

5Q. Would you ever start a relationship with someone who was still living with an ex for financial reasons?
5A. Hell no. Do you think I would even be interested in someone like that in the first place? What type of person would take that sort of route regardless? There is ALWAYS an alternative. You just have to find it in yourself to take the step and do it.
Read More »

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2007, August 25 – 5:19 pm

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The Eyes Of The Law

2:30pm

As my MASSIVE 1.35 gig Photoshop file is being rendered, I glanced through the Google News headlines and came across the following:

“It’s a fundamental American principle: All people are equal in the eyes of the law.”

Followed by cynical laughter on my part – quiet cynical laughter mind you. Baby, the law doesn’t have eyes, nor does it have ears or any sensations whatsoever. People use the law as a facade for their own goals. The only thing that is ‘equal’ in accordance to the law, is that everyone will be fucked by the law one way or another, more than once in their lives.

The law is catered to the whole and not to the individual, and even then, it’s catered to those ’smart’ enough to use it to their advantage, EVEN if they are in the wrong in the first place.

[golf clap]

2:35pm

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2007, August 24 – 2:35 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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Punctuation & Grammar, EBay, BitDefender, And Sex

11:46am

One constant thing that has always urked me throughout the years is the incorrect usage of grammar and punctuation, especially particular spelling such as “you are”, “you’re”, and “your” – the first two being the same things.

Another thing is the separation of paragrah. I’ve noticed that a lot of people – and let me stress that: A LOT of people DO NOT separate paragraph breaks for some uncanny reason. Here’s a good example of what I am talking about here (LINK):

One question: “Why?”

Seriously, there is no reason to have separate paragraphs if you’re going to leave them together like that. You say “it’s your style”, but for fuck sakes, what if your story goes something like this:

The mangled remains of a vessel found in
the Bering Sea are likely those of a World
War II submarine that disappeared with a
crew of 70 off the Aleutian Island of Kiska.
The discovery of the USS Grunion at night
culminates a five-year search led by the
sons of its commander, Mannert Abele,
and may finally shine a light on the last
moments of the doomed vessel.
“Obviously, this is a very big thing,” the
oldest son, Bruce Abele, said Thursday
from his home in Newton, Masschusetts.
A remotely operated vehicle snapped
pictures and captured three hours of
video footage of the Grunion on a rocky
underwater slope north of the volcanic
island, according to another brother,
John Abele, who was in Kiska Harbor
with the search team on Thursday.

This was taken from HERE.

Now, how many paragraphs do you see here? Based on the original story, there are four paragraphs here, but because of ‘incorrect’ paragraph breakage, this looks like one massive paragraph or two, if you’re ‘keen’ enough. [sighs]

I ask you all who do this, especially David from my part-time job, “Why do you do that? Why? Why bother making paragraph breaks at all?” Read More »

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2007, August 24 – 1:23 pm

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Carefree, Flawed, & Beautiful

11:41pm

Tonight’s meeting with Razor was pretty long, but tis all good. Got a bunch of little stuff done. Damn lapdog needs more ram! There goes another $120. If you can stay away from Vista, please do. Unless you’re a Mac-type user who likes the shinies and cute-things, then go right ahead and get Vista. [sighs]

Bad choice on my part really. I should have known better.

Anyway, I was going through Viv’s profile and came across her About Me. She has “Loving, carefree, flawed, beautiful.” – coupled with this song called “Halfway Through The City” by Masia One (listen below), I couldn’t help but smile after I read that. The key words being “flawed” and “beautiful” in the same sentence.

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People often and usually put up a blurp about themselves – their interests, and their work, etc, etc, and others use some form of wit and charm to describe their persona. However, I really like Viv’s description of herself. It’s to the point, clear, and sexy. To describe oneself as flawed and beautiful coinciding the ‘limited’ reading of what I think she is like, she’s someone I can really adore.

For those with a tight ignorance, to adore someone of the opposite gender does not necessarily translate to being in love with her . It’s like a connoisseur of fine wines, or in this case, a fine lady.

11:50pm

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2007, August 22 – 11:51 pm

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Visions & Family

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Molesting My Innocence

2:36am

Tune: â€œDay Light in New Orleansâ€ by Jesper Kyd
Mood: Itchy Eyeball?
Drink: Ice water

Jon, Martine and I went to Tokyo Ichiban by 9pm, and finally came Albert, Jenny, and Jenny. We all sat down and noticed how smooth Jenny #2’s hand was – almost as smooth as Albert’s hands. Albert has extraordinarily smooth hands.

^^ L-R: Martine & Jon. Read More »

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2007, August 12 – 2:35 am

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Fumbling With His 3 Pound Balls (Updated 8/20/07)

12:23am

Sometimes, I feel like an old man and my grandsons come home from overseas and visit me. Sometimes, they bring me a bottle of Port. Other times, they bring me amusing stories. Then there are times like tonight where they bring me bokkens. There’s nothing like bringing an old man a pair of bokkens to remind him of days long passed, when he had fun with the bunch, did lion dancing, and walked to and from the club through rain and sun.

Tune: “Gentle Rays” by Naoshi Mizuta
Mood: A bit nostalgic
Drink: Hmm, I’ll go get some more ice water…

Another good thing about summer is that I can drink ice water without freezing. During the summer, my room is the hottest in the house. During the winter, it is the second coldest room in the house, the first being the washroom downstairs. Aside from last year, my childhood, and spending time at the swings late in the night with Jon, I haven’t had a summer where it was particularily enjoyable. My favorite season is mid Spring where rain is prevailant. I love the sound of thunder and lightning and the heavy down-pour of rainfall. My second favorite season would be early Autumn where the leaves turn orange, red, and yellow and drift endlessly around.

Summer is beautiful at the least. Winter can also be beautiful too. Just that it’s so damn cold. There is nothing like waking up in the morning, open the front door to a foot or two of snow, untrampelled, and the sky is crisp blue. That feeling is very nice and soothing.

^^ Love the bokkens! Domo arigatoo. [bows]

Jon rang me up around 7:20pm today and asked if I was busy. I was doing some finishing touches on a Razor piece and told him to meet me at the garage and we’ll go get something to drink. He came by and gave me two daito bokkens. Their weight seemed off – not nearly as heavy as the ones I had before that I trained with, but they looked really nice. I thought that it was a coincidence because about 4 or 5 days ago when I took my cousin out riding, I saw three men practicing iaido near Cambie school and I was nostalgic for a bit there. Then today, Jon comes by and gives me these two very nice looking bokkens and immediately, I thought, “Awesome! I can now go swing them around when I want time by myself below the stars to think and cast away some stress with those overhead chops.” Read More »

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2007, August 7 – 12:23 pm

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A Surreal Sky

2:08am

Tune: “Traces” by Enigma
Mood: Gum-Ache killing me furiously
Drink: Ice water

My cousin left Friday evening, then Albert and Jenny came over around 7:30pm. We went to the gym and for the rest of the night, I spent time on work and anime. Saturday came and went. I had a three hour MSN conversation with Mandy, mainly about random things, her thoughts, and about love. I wanted to get back online this night to talk to her more, but this gum ache is really killing my mood for anything. However, I did manage to squeeze in a few episodes of Desert Punk.

I named this entry “A Surreal Sky” because I went for a furious bike ride earlier this evening around 8:30pm, and as I rode my usual route, I looked about and noticed a familiarity with my surroundings. It wasn’t the obvious fact that I’ve ridden this route roughly 500 times in the last 4 years. No, instead, it was the ambience and feeling associated with it. I stopped at the turn-around point and looked across the farms north, towards Vancouver, Burnaby, Port Coquitlam, and beyond and as my eyes scoured across that land, I had flashback memories of the places I’ve walked, bussed and drove to and back. The most common words I think about has always been “Who would have thought I was there?” Followed by, “And now I am here staring back in time, different, yet the same.” Read More »

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2007, August 6 – 3:15 am

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The Horndog And His Sidekick, The Chin Hair Cutter

12:53am

Tune: “Callista” by Saki Kaskas
Mood: A bit sleepy, and slightly excited
Drink: 4% Milk

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^^ Brandon, The Horndog and his sidekick, The Chin Hair Cutter taking a picture together during a break somewhere… Read More »

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2007, August 4 – 1:51 am

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Brandon The Horndog

11:51am

I considered putting this in the last entry, but keeping them separate would be less ‘confusing’.

Brandon, my 9 year old cousin has become one of the youngest… No, correction. He has become THE youngest pervert I have ever known personally in the last 28 years. I mean, I was perverted starting at age 9 as well, and I did stuff with a girl who was 10 at the time, so wait, this kind of defeats the purpose… No wait, it doesn’t.

Anyway, Brandon The Horndog…

For example, I was lying in bed, napping and he was at my computer playing The Sims 2 and I created a whole bunch of characters from people I know in real life such as Patrick, Laura, myself, Albert, and Jonathan. Pat lives by himself a couple of houses down the street. Laura lives by herself across from me. Albert lives next door with his wife Evangeline and his two kids in his 4000 square foot mansion. Jonathan lives in an odd looking house filled with yummies with his mom and his sister down the road. I live in a nice middle-sized house with my wife Amy and twins (Albert Cheng and Jonathan Cheng), and finally Brandon with his wife Holly and newborn, Mark, in the 6000 square foot mansion beside my house.

I’ll show you pictures later.

Wait, I didn’t complete my paragraph above…

Right.

So I was lying in bed and he was playing The Sims 2. In-game, Laura went over to Brandon’s house, this was before he got married to Holly. Laura flirted with Brandon and Holly hates Laura. That’s a given. Then Brandon (in real life) learned what WooHoo meant in-game, and did it with Holly and eventually got her pregnant. There was a party of sorts when the baby came out, and Laura kept flirting with my in-game character as well as getting fights with Amy and Holly. Wow, Laura turned out to be a real tramp in-game eh? [laughs]

Brandon (out-of-game) asked me “Why does Laura keep getting into fights with the other girls?”

I rolled over and smiled, then said, “Does Brandon have a heart shape icon beside Laura’s picture in your Personals’ section?”

He checked and replied, “She has a crush on me.”

I rolled back to my sleeping position and said, “There you go. Which wife do you know would like their hubby to love another woman, if ever?”

Over the day, Brandon would ask questions like “Why does Laura like so many different guys in the game?, “How do I get Laura to make up with my wife?”, “Does Laura like both girls and guys?”, “Does Amy hate Laura too?”, “Why doesn’t Laura have a boyfriend?, “Why isn’t Laura married to one of the guys she likes?”, “Do you like Laura?”, “Who do you think looks better? Laura or Amy?”… Etc… Read More »

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2007, July 27 – 2:43 pm

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The Young Uns

11:29am

This has been on my mind for awhile now, but the concept has been in my mind since the late 90’s. I was thinking that I have spent a few thousand dollars on my cousins over the last two years on gifts and such, but they were and are still quite young and most often than not, don’t quite have the mental and emotional capacity to appreciate certain things.

There are things like games and accessories for Gameboy Advance, Nintendo DS, and PSP that are bought, given, and then played, then after awhile, they stop using them and move on. For Brandon alone, I’ve bought over a dozen items for his GBA and DS in a period of under 20 months, then spent on another half a dozen things for his PSP in the last 9 months. At least the technology for the PSP will stay for another 2 or 3 years, but who knows when they young uns will stop playing their portables and move onto newer things?

Like myself, since the early 90’s, I’ve tried to keep my assets to the basics. In the late 90’s, that concept was ‘proven’ as I left my bedroom cleared of unnecessary objects like posters of half naked girls, toys, hobby stuffs, etc, etc. Basically, as little as possible – like how a traditional Japanese household would be like. However, since the fall of my company in the early millenia, I reopened myself and spilled my creativity and internal desires out externally, infecting my living environment. If you go to my room now, it’s filled with so much crap. I clean out crap once every two months, but there are tons of stuff I am still unwilling to give up. Often, I wonder when I die, what would happen to all that stuff. The sentimental worry is that I collect all these things, but in the end, I don’t get to bring them with me.

So I devised that maybe one of my end goals is to become wealthy enough to buy a castle of sorts, and leave one of the rooms there filled with my stuff. Think of a remembrance of what is left of who I was in that one room. Those who inherit such values and things will have the opportunity to experience a bit of what I experienced, read my journals, my diaries, these blogs, and my private offline locked diaries which I have to find a hard digital encoder for. Maybe I can put in my will that the contents of the room can’t be removed unless the house burns down or something like that.

Anyway, with those thoughts out of the way, I was wondering whether I should spend less on my young cousins and more towards things they can use for the long term. That’s probably one of the reasons why my eldest cousin Catherine (not the same as my co-worker) use to give my brother and I dictionaries and stationary for our birthdays and christmas. She figured that they were useful educational things and can benefit us in the long term. She did occasionally bring us to the theatre too and treat us at Mc D’s and such. I remember we watched Carebears The Movie when it came out a long long long time ago.

11:49am

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2007, July 27 – 11:49 am

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Visions & Family

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A City With Bright Lights

3:02am

My 9 year cousin Brandon came over Friday morning while I was at work. So far so good. I haven’t had the chance to get much done unfortunately.

I just wish to share with you a haiku I made the other night…

Silence are his lips.
A maze in his mind, he sleeps.
Waiting to awake.

The ‘innocence’ people talk about when referring to children are usually bundled with what they feel is ‘not there’. What may not be there, may not actually have anything to do with whether the child is innocent or not. My interpretation of that ‘innocence’ of a child is what little they know in general versus what happens to some adults as they age, and what happens is mainly a social interactive thing.

So my cousin Brandon, asks me questions, jokes around, and have a good laugh with me every time one or both of us does something really messed up, and as much as he may know about how things may work as you grow older, he doesn’t have the experience of such unfortunate and fortunate ‘wonders’. Thus my interpretation of a child’s ‘innocence’ is not whether they know what fucking, killing, and stealing means. My interpretation of a child’s ‘innocence’ is how deep they are in terms of experiencing fucking, killing, and stealing, etc.

Some people say that children don’t know any better. I beg to differ. I know under 10 children who know ‘better’ than most adults I know concurrently. They may not have the mental depth of complicated matters, plots within plots within plots and such, but in their ’simplistic’ perspective, they know what to do and what not to do. At least, the ones I know that know better are like that.

Yes, as you grow older, and as you start feeling things differently than when you were a kid, your thoughts and emotions span out and touch other aspects, and then beyond that, but that’s the thing. In general perspective, as you grow older, as you experience more, as you allow yourself to feel more and accept and reject more, you are prone to be less honest, though possibly more sincere, than a kid who is much more honest but less sincere.

Being honest means you tell the absolute truth, and being sincere means you tell a version of the absolute truth, but not a lie.

Anyway, there is a lot of sincerity around, but there isn’t nearly as much honesty.

3:20am

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2007, July 22 – 3:21 am

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Why Is The Moon?

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It's Been A Long Time

11:30pm

It’s been a long time eh?

So why? Why Leeman? Why nothing in the last 12 days? The answer is simple. It isn’t because I was busy, though in reality, I should be very busy. It isn’t because I’m seeing/dating anyone, but even if I were, none of you would know, nor would I tell you. It isn’t because games are taking my time away, though I have been having nightmares about Need For Speed Most Wanted, but more on that later.

No no. I haven’t been updating because first, there is nothing much to talk about aside from the 2 previous bike rides I had with Albert and the ‘mature’ woman at my workplace that I’ve been considering of getting hot and dirty with. Second, because I’ve actually been spending a LOT of time on EBay to buy anime series and movies that I’ve downloaded in the past – good ones well worth rewatching mind you.

Yup, that’s it.

^^ My RX8 VS the Cayman S1 which I captured after the race. 83 Read More »

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2007, July 15 – 12:14 am

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On The Rocks

1:37pm

Seriously, having an entire work week of aches and pains, inconsistent sleeping patterns, fucked up dreams, and a realization that everything is boring, I thought I would get some good rest come this weekend, but NOOOOOoooooo…… I went to bed at 3am last night, and even then my brother was watching some movie in his room until around 4am, which then I knocked on the wall and he finally shut the hell up by 4:30am – that, or I fell asleep. Then at 5:00am, a warplane flew over. Oh yeah, I knew it was a fighter jet of some sort, unless our commercial airlines decided to fit their planes with engines that outputs that distinct sharp roaring jet engine sound. I blame His Royal Highness, Prince Harry. [winks]

Last night, before I moved onto my TBM project, I had a shot of JW on the rocks. Man, it’s been awhile since I had Red Label. Pretty nasty. Then again, whiskey can be really nasty after a long time, but the worst thing was that it didn’t hit the spot. [sighs] I should have spent the extra $30 to get a bottle of Black Label. Ah well. Once I went Black, I should have never went back… 8)

Anyone for Warre’s Warrior Special Reserve? It’s a really fine rich ruby Port wine. Back in the day, I would have a glass of this once every night or two. I cut down to about two shots once a night or two, then two shots per week, and eventually about four shots per month. It has been a long time since I got another bottle of Port. It ‘reminded’ me when my mom came into my room and asked to get rid of the two empty wine bottles on top of my shelf. Some people prefer Port with cheese and fruit, but I prefer mine with salty preserved fishies, cucumber, and carrots. Read More »

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2007, June 9 – 2:20 pm

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Why Is The Moon?

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Wheeeere's Johnny!?

6:29pm

A dozen cans of Kokanee, 11 of which were drunk by me, about 1 a night, then bamboo juice that my mom and I found out turned bad, and finally today during work I said to my co-worker as I packed up a tripod and a digital camera, “I’m going out to take some pictures.” A massive grin showed up on my perverted face as I walked over to the van, put the stuff onto the middle seat, buckled in and drove off. Then I parked and entered Ironwood Liquor Store and there they were… Rows and rows and rows and rows of shiny black bottles with many different variations of labels of all shapes and sizes. Suddenly, everything became sweeter, my body became lighter, and some divine power lifted me off the ground and I danced and skipped and leaped from isle to isle, basking in the glory of the gods and goddesses I worship whenever I am allowed to. Then there they were… The whiskey and Port isle…

Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough cash on me, so I got a medium sized bottle of Johnny Walker Red Label instead of my preferred Black Label, and I got a large bottle of Warre’s Warrior Special Reserve. Tis good enough. The WW should last me a month or two, and the JW should last me over the summer, unless something bitter comes up, then well, I can finish them off in one weekend, or a night…

[coughs]

6:36pm

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2007, June 8 – 6:37 pm

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Bunches Of Oats

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What Sex Partner Do You Want?

Another silly quiz from a random spot in the net. I would LOVE to know what Spongey and Ariel’s results are… [wink]

Link: http://quizfarm.com/quiz_repository/Sex/44578/

8:01pm

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2007, June 2 – 7:01 pm

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Sex

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A Mid Evening Ride

9:27pm

Finding no one on my phonebook that lives close enough for a bike ride, I went out on my own around 8:30pm. Before I even decided to do my usual 7.2 kilometre ride – well, it used to be usual route; I thought of just doing the current usual 3 kilometre ride instead, but after watching an episode of Ah! Megami Sama – Sorezore No Tsubasa where Skuld learned how to ride a two wheeled bike, it reminded me of the time I taught my then 6 year old cousin Brandon to ride his without his training wheels. That itself gave me a temporary renewed motivation to ride the 7.2.

^^ After reaching the turn-around point, I caught some pictures. This image is a bit dark, but what you’re seeing are the Cypress Mountains north-westward. Read More »

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2007, May 31 – 8:26 pm

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Sports & Traveling

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Reminiscing On Beer

11:05pm

Another night, another beer… I seriously need my own mini-fridge and stash, but then comes the nagging from my parents. The good things living with parents is that there is guaranteed breakfast, lunch, and dinner, including a snack later in the evening. Living costs also goes down to the basics. I give 60% to 80% of my income to my parents since I don’t need my money for anything. However, if I live on my own, I wouldn’t be able to give 60% to 80% of my income to them, and there is no guarantee that breakfast, lunch, and dinner would be made, let alone a midnight snack. I would have to pay for rent or a mortgage, land tax, and other expenses including food, gas, and other crap. The thing is though, then I would have freedom to have my mini-fridge and beer. Heck, I wouldn’t need a mini-fridge. I can just stock my entire fridge with beer.

The real problem with living with parents is that a lot of things are taken for granted. I am my mommy’s boy. She pats me occasionally, just as I pat my intimate lovers and certain female friends. Also, I can’t bring women home… Well, I can, but, yeah…

Blah.

More beer.

11:10pm

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2007, May 28 – 10:10 pm

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The Five Odes

9:13pm

Wait! [runs off to the shower with a peeled orange]

(32 minutes later…)

Pat should be glad there weren’t any pictures of me half naked in a drunken stupor, eating a banana. [wink]

I dedicate this entry to five things:

1) my Sonic 02 hardtail
2) the uneaten, unpeeled banana lying beside my keyboard
3) Michelle for a shipwide mutiny
4) the 8.5 hour MSN conversation I had with Jon the other day
5) Ichigo Mashimaro Read More »

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2007, May 24 – 9:51 pm

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Air Canada

6:29am

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["Island In My Dreams" refluxed by Leeman Cheng in December 7th, 2000]

So I just woke up from about 5 hours of sleep from a nightmarish dream… Another one.

I travelled to the United States, or what looked like the U.S. with my mom. We went somewhere. It was always sunny when I was lost or looking for my way, but it was always foggy and dim when I was idle. The dream was vivid. I saw every detail, I remember every detail – the fine lines of the many portraits hanging inside the five star hotel. I remember the people that walked by us. The people and the objects that interacted with us. I remember the ‘temperature’ and the noises…

It was time to go. Jon, his girlfriend, his ex girlfriend, my brother, Albert, Jenny, Ben, and Laura was there, and probably others too. I went to the washroom, while they waited outside with my mom, and my brother was in the washroom with me. I asked him, “Why is Jon’s girlfriend so dark?” In which my brother replied, “It must because of that place she went to.”

Then I hesitated of going out, but I did, and saw them all lying, sitting, standing around. I interacted with some of them, smiled to the rest, and remembered that somehow, we were at the ‘wrong’ gate, though we weren’t. That’s when the dream became nightmarish. Read More »

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2007, May 22 – 5:46 am

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Dreams

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Comments Off

8.5 Hours Of Manliness

11:14pm

So earlier today, I went online to talk to Jonathan about something…

That as you can see was 2:38pm Pacific Standard Time.

And then finally logged out at 11:06pm! ALMOST 8.5 HOURS OF MANLY MSN CONVERSATION!!!

The bulk of the conversation was about ‘random’ things. We talked about some hongers that got married from our high school. We talked about Top Gear and their future. We talked about girls and a bit about sex and masturbation. We talked about Starcraft 2, and other games and he pondered on whether to get PS3 or not, or a new lapdog or a desktop. We talked about my family’s Hong Kong woes, and stuff. Etc, etc, etc.

The longest ever I’ve spent on the phone with someone else was about 7 hours with Cindy, 6 hours with Virginia, and 5.5 hours with Fiona. I think I’ve talked on the phone with Albert for 2 hours once and Pat for about an hour and a half. Laura doesn’t count, cuz I wasn’t talking really. [wink]

I must have typed up an entire Master’s thesis in that time. WOW!

So why does this entry belong in the Love Economics and Visions & Family categories?

Yeah, it does. It sadly does.

11:27pm

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2007, May 21 – 10:27 pm

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How many times should I be having sex with my wife?

11:48am

With the above question at DearCupid.org, I was flabbergasted at how a man whom is age 30 to 35 would ask such an uncanny question as that. I guess he hasn’t had much experience or mental maturity for this sort of thing?

My response was quite to the point.

This shouldn’t be a matter of “how many times should…” but a matter of “how do I pleasure my…” Understand?

It seems so premature to ask a question like that because things like love and consideration, sex, pleasure, and care shouldn’t and couldn’t be measured. It’s all a feeling.

For a lot of people I know, including myself, we gauge what we want to do for our partners based on how we feel about them, and more often than not, if we love our partners, or if we like them a lot, we usually just want to do things for and with them.

Eg: If I’m going out with a girl right now, the more I see her and interact with her, the more I want to hear her voice, spend time with her, know and understand her thoughts and feelings. These things translate to me wanting to care about her, care for her, be worrisome about her health. I want to kiss her, hug her, pleasure her. I want to take her to places. I want to do this and that, etc, etc, etc. Let alone if she was my wife!

I cannot and will not measure how many times per week I should take her out. I cannot and will not measure how many times we should have sex. I cannot and will not measure how often we should kiss or hug, or do things together. These things should all be based on a combination of energy, emotion, practicality, and relation. It’s so relative.

Seriously, it’s gross that there are people out there who date, get married and then ask in my opinion, rather dumbfounded questions like that. It’s weird.

AND guess what? That same guy comes back and asks “What is the average in the u.k?”

WTF?!?!?

So my response was a tad blunt in sarcastic ridicule:

WHAT?!?!?! Are you even reading?!?! You can’t! There is NO average! Are you really 30 to 35?!?! Seriously! NO! There is NO SUCH THING!

Wow. Is this real?

11:57am

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, May 19 – 10:51 am

Author:

Categories:

Love Economics

Comments:

Face Analyst Of A Girl I Like

10:09am

["Beneath the Mask" by Makai]

Hey it’s sunny outside. Nice.

So another pointless entry from your’s truly? Nah, never!

I came across an issue of Blender for June 2007 and on its cover, a censored topless pic of Avril adorn it. Ever since she released her first song on the telly, I’ve fallen head over heels for her – just based on looks alone mind you. The one thing I REALLY REALLY like about her are her lips, how they seem to frown, but not quite. She has that sad bitchy look, but not sad and not exactly bitchy. Make sense? No? Let’s do an analyst of her face…

You see that dip on her upper lip? Here, let me circle it…
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, May 17 – 9:27 am

Author:

Categories:

Sex

Comments:

Blanked Out?

1:49pm

Anyone ever sat in front of their desk or computer while thinking you are doing something, like reading an article or doing work, when you look at the time, and realized that you hadn’t done anything for the last 23 minutes at all, but just sit there? Well, that happened to me just now and it was weird. Last time I checked the clock, it read “13:23″, then I proceeded to stare at the monitor and then my eyes drifted to the clock again and it read “13:46″. My first reaction was “What the hell? What did I do for the last 23 minutes?!?!” Then my second reaction was “Only an hour and a bit until I get to go home! Woohoo!

1:57pm

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, May 14 – 12:57 pm

Author:

Categories:

Sports & Traveling

Comments:

Spongey's First Pacific Spirit Ride

9:53pm

Enough said.

BTW, any tall Asian-descendent guys who is single, not pale looking and have a proportionate meat and muscle to height balance, her butt is quite big and round and stiff enough to make a loud smack-sound if you slap it. However, I don’t officially know that, and don’t ask me anything else, cuz I don’t want to know anything else and because I have a damn good imagination, thus my line of work, I don’t want you to ask me about anything else about that or similar things.

[sighs] [drinks some Kokanee] [pauses] [adjusts my pants] [thinks about greenery] [thinks about what Laura told me]

Ah for fuck sakes!

9:59pm

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, May 13 – 8:54 pm

Author:

Categories:

Comments:

Need Before Greed

7:20pm

["Vata (feat. Shweta Shetty)" by Jam & Spoon]

A few months ago, Albert gave me a copy of Enron, The Smartest Guys In The Room, and I finally watched it this morning. It took me this long to watch it because I wasn’t initially interested, though there was always a lingering feeling that I DID want to watch it. Something held me back, and a part of it probably had to do with laziness, but the fact that I was aware that I was both uninterested AND interested at the same time, made me wonder what those true reasons were for NOT watching it.

So I finally did this morning and by the time 2001 rolled around in the film, several subtle shivers had gone up and down my neck. There aren’t many films out there, including horror films that disturbs me this way. For horror films, the visuals and the creativity gone into them disturb me for a night and then it goes away and I give it a hoorah that it scared the wits out of me temporarily. For the Enron film, it didn’t scare me bluntly, but let’s put it this way…
Read More »

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, May 12 – 7:41 pm

Author:

Categories:

Visions & Family

Comments:

Photoshop Editing

Yes, I can do that, BUT are you sure you want me to? It’s not going to hide the fact that you’re still whatever you are! And no, that wasn’t me doing all that either. I remember charging some girl $400 for a 2.5 hour ‘make-over’ for her obesity to skinny curvaceous photo. She was very pleased but it still didn’t change the fact that she was 230 pounds at 5-4.

9:59am

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, May 12 – 4:59 am

Author:

Categories:

Why Is The Moon?

Comments:

A Short Ride With Laura

10:31am

^^ We can almost be twins… Not that I’m saying she looks like a he and I look like a she, but moreso that… Hmmm, I just noticed… Spongey – stop slouching!

The last couple of weeks was straight work, and the last week had been nearly no gaming too! [sobs] With that said, I got my lazy ass out of my work for a couple of hours and picked Laura up from her place around noon, drove her down and had a short ride half way down the Shell Trail. It was a very nice day but there was wind chill and that killed my ear drums. The constant erection also didn’t help which made me light-headed, and no damn it, it had nothing to do with staring at her massively fine ass while we biked.

Notes for next time:
- get more than 2 hours of sleep – preferrably around 6 to 8
- eat a bigger breakfast
- wear a toque
- mb twice before riding
- plug ears and hum loudly when Laura or any female attempt to describe sweat beads rolling down between large breasts

After I dropped Laura off, I went home, went straight into work and then fell asleep by 6pm and woke up this morning around 3am. 9 hours. NINE HOURS! So today, since this morning, straight work. Ray’s been emailing me loads, and I have to catch up on par with Lon and Jay too. Who would have thought that three hours out of my work schedule would be so chaotic in the afterward eh? EH?!?!

10:37am

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, May 10 – 9:40 am

Author:

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Comments:

April's Fools?

9:26pm

This is a long overdue entry/gallery of my mom’s birthday and Christina’s birthday thingies last month in April. April is an uncanny birthday month for my friends and family. Carlo’s birthday is on the 2nd. Virginia, Helen, and my mom shares April 7th. Then Fiona’s birthday is on the 13th. My younger cousin Kai Yeen and Michelle shares the same birthday on the 21st. Edmund for the 27th, and lastly, Christina for the 29th. That’s a whopping nine people!

Fortunately, there is no… Ah this reminds me of something. Be right back in a min.

[goes to the closet to look for something]

Nevermind. I just remembered that I gave $30 to my mom on Monday. Wait, no that… Let me check again. Ah I don’t know!

Okay, so here are some pictures of my mom’s birthday about a month ago. My brother and I got her a gift bag of Shiseido products and a chestnut almond cake, and my dad took us all out for Vietnamese noodles. My mom prefers simple foods that doesn’t cost a fortune and still tastes good.

^^ My mom praying to the cake…? Nah, she’s just wishing for a lot of things to happen and not happen.
Read More »

Popularity: 12% [?]

Published:

2007, May 4 – 8:50 pm

Author:

Categories:

Bunches Of Oats

Comments:

Pulsating Beans

1:59pm

This last half of the week can’t be any more screwy! Not only am I not going through my Razor work as quickly as I initially thought, but I can’t get this damn flow going with my client’s new shopping cart project. I hate doing half ass jobs, and my runabout last night was no exception. ON TOP of that, I spent $53 on a program last night that works the best, but still doesn’t do the intended job I want it to. Damn ill-prepared and about to rip off Barbie’s head a third time!

I noticed I’ve also been spending quite a bit of money lately. First it was games, then some online stuffs, and then sex toys for my non-existing girlfriend, and some sex toys for a friend, and then I have to give my brother $35 for a $70 facial cream for my mom (we’re taking her out Saturday evening for her belated b-day dinner), then I have to pay for our dinner, then I have to go out after that to Laura’s place and pick her up for another dinner and possibly some bubble tea and letting her drive around the city for practice, and then I have to go to my mom’s and Christina’s b-day celebrations Sunday… MY GOSH! Oh and I shouldn’t forget about the dentist I went to yesterday to get my cavity filled. Mhm.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, April 27 – 1:42 pm

Author:

Categories:

Comments:

Sighing Profusely

10:29am

The first time I had ever heard “sighing profusely” was said by Jon a few years ago. I don’t know if it was “sighing profusely” exactly, but he did say “profusely”.

So I just came back from the dentist to fill in a cavity I had since late last year and got myself some sliced beef congee. It doesn’t hurt at all, but ah whatever.

Yes, so I came home, did some stuff, and went onto DC and found the following…

A female United Kingdom age 16-17, anonymous writes:

Its Driving Me Insane..!!

Me and my boyfriend of 3 months are getting on really well.. however he is too honest of what his friends think of me.. none of them really like me even though they have never met me! It seems to be both of his girl and boy friends that are saying this too him.. i get upset when he tells me but he doesnt seem to understand why..

Am i wasting my time..??

Now, some of you should already know how I feel about shit like this, so I replied and said:
Read More »

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, April 26 – 9:53 am

Author:

Categories:

Love Economics

Comments:

Lost That Love And Feeling

9:09am

It’s a good song by the Righteous Brothers.

Well, mistakes happen and I can’t go back in time to change them, and even if I can repair the damage in the coming future, I can only do so much. Scars and such will always be there.

The last couple of days, I’ve been jumping from one project to the next quickly enough that I don’t have enough reserve energy to actually keep me going healthy. So last night, I retired to bed earlier – around 2:30am and slept until around 7:40am, then got out of bed by 8:30am. I have to go to my client at 11am to 3pm, then come home and work on Razor stuff, get an hour of napping, then out to my Razor work meeting at 7:30pm to around 11pm.

To keep me sane and creative, I’ve been playing Half Life 2. It’s an innovative first person shooter with a few puzzle elements and the realism is nothing I have ever seen before. It wasn’t until I played HL2 for a couple of hours that I realized why I have been so numbed out for the last two years. I remember when I was younger, there was a certain unexplainable feeling that I lived from day to day that had both sad and numbing undertones, mixed with bouts of happy moments and such. This feeling was strengthened and boosted temporarily whenever I play first person shooter games that had elements of realism in them.
Read More »

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, April 25 – 8:39 am

Author:

Categories:

Comments:

3:07am

Indeed it is. 8]

What’s up with the lack of updates? It has been hasn’t it? Since I use to enter one to three every day or so. Well, times have changed, or rather, the mood have changed.

The last few weeks have been quite mellow. Nothing much has happened. I’m just kind of waiting on the programmers to do their thing and get back to me. I’ve also been playing a lot of World of Warcraft and bit of C&C3 Tiberian War – yes got it 2 days after I ordered it from EA. I’ll have some pics up for that, if Jon decides to get a copy later. I also haven’t been out much and when I do, it’s usually for a very long time. I just walk around and visit places where I’ve been to – usually places that I’ve been to when I was a kid. I still live in the city I grew up in.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, March 31 – 3:58 am

Author:

Categories:

Visions & Family

Comments:

Brandon's Sleep-Over

3:07pm

^^ Since my bro’s not home nowadays, Brandon took over his colourful bedroom.

Red Dates, Ginseng Honey Drink – yum! It’s all gooey and stuff, and supposedly good for those with dry throats and stuff. 83

So my 9 year old cousin, Brandon, came over Monday evening and left around 2:30pm today. We played Chinese Checkers, some Maple Story, talked about girls and their boobies (yes, I know, persistent little horn-dog), introduced him to Worms Armageddon in which he kicked my ass quite a lot, but ended up losing because revenge overwhelmed the best logic… 8] Etc, etc, etc. He ended up going out with my two eldest cousins on Wednesday and had an entire day of fun and games with their kids.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, March 22 – 3:28 pm

Author:

Categories:

Bunches Of Oats

Comments:

By Your Side

9:23pm

["Cyberbird" by Gabriela Robin]

The first time this song played was when I watched an episode of Ghost in the Shell SAC – I don’t remember if it was the first or second series though. The next time after that was when I got the song and in all the glory of being home alone, everyone’s at work, in the break of mid-day. The music was rich and full of emotion – especially the first few seconds of it. Imagine being awakened – something deep inside of you breathing its first breath, opening its eyes to see its first glimpse of light from high above the dark heavens… Unfortunately, as the age tires, so did that initial invigoration. As quickly as the dragon whelp awoke, it fell back asleep again.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, March 13 – 9:52 pm

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Comments:

Beyond The Borders

11:52am

["Beyond The Borders" by Elysis]

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

^^ This tune was made by one of my favorite musicians of the 90’s. It was an on-going inspiration for me to continue with what can be precious to me and my parents. Elysis, amongst others, were the encouraging force that motivated me to get into tracking as a hobby back in the mid 90’s to early millenia. ^^

Another dream to add to my long list of meaningful dreams lately. I have never had a dream like this before, and it disturbs me.

The earliest I can remember is being with my mom, my dad, my brother in our van. We drove to a high school and tried to get back out. We were in the middle of a field, except there was pavement on that field. My dad suggested going to some long winded road back out, but I saw a route that lead to the main road just a few metres from us, though it wasn’t a convention path out. We ended up driving through the grass and beside a fence and finally out.
Read More »

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, March 7 – 1:09 pm

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Comments:

Envy Of My Bro Edmond

4:23am

‘Oddly’, I had another dream this morning where my brother and I were alien agents disguised as humans being lead around a hospital by a round Asian-type man with glasses and a sweater – he looked nerdy. We made sure it looked like a tour, that we were some VIP or something like that. When we got out of the hospital, my brother and I met up with Julia (Laura’s Julia), to celebrate her birthday. My bro drived, and I sat in the back seat, picked her up, went to Bridgepoint (so the old place but still existing today), and went into some candy gift shop. My brother got her a teddy bear with a heart on it. For some reason, I got jealous of my brother for receiving so much attention from her, even when I knew he was/is gay.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, March 5 – 4:54 am

Author:

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Comments:

Comfortably Numb

3:34am

I would like to thank Michelle for linking the music video to Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” on You Tube. I also watched a fan-make of this song:

Anyway, the real purpose of this entry was a dream I had this morning/evening. I went to bed around 3pm yesterday and woke up at 2:51am this morning. I haven’t entered any dream journals for awhile now, but this one seems to be quite meaningful. I may leave some things out as they are too sensitive and/or I don’t remember enough of.
Read More »

Popularity: 12% [?]

Published:

2007, March 3 – 4:22 am

Author:

Categories:

Dreams

Comments:

Grand Admiral Thrawn VS Autechre

12:07pm

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Bonus points to those who in the next 5 seconds can remember or guess who Grand Admiral Thrawn is without doing a search on the web. 8]

This is the type of music that motivates me to take a pop of E, sit back, and relax. Let’s just say, I’m not at home in my own environment at the moment.

So I was thinking that all this could still be a fragment of my imagination. Maybe I never woke up from my coma 13 years ago. Maybe I am still in that coma now, and every one in my ‘life’ are really fragments of my psyche. How tragic would it be if I am in a coma and I wake up decades later to find that I am a very old man, and a complete stranger to the world outside ‘this’ hospital?
Read More »

Popularity: 14% [?]

Published:

2007, March 2 – 12:46 pm

Author:

Categories:

Comments:

Here To Stay

6:25am

I would like to celebrate the light snow of this morn with a cup of hot ginseng. A toast to the whiteness outside! 8]

So I just watched episode 2, Season 9 of TG and then received Michelle’s comment and then my reply, and then watched Bleach episode 117 just now. Pretty good episode, but damn, they ended it at the good part as usual.

Anyway, as much crap there is and as much sadness there may be, I can’t allow them to handle my emotions this way. Sure, it’ll be on my mind for awhile, but I have to fulfill my obligations to Razor despite, and so, as per my usual fuzziness, I’ll continue to do my share of the work, while enter stuff in my blog for the rest of you to see.

Nowadays, I have to admit, I’m not sure what to write about any more – aside from games and dreams, writing about my feelings here haven’t been motivational lately. There is only so much shit that happens until I get numb from it.

Right. So I have a question for everyone… What is the difference between judgment and opinion?

7:21am

Popularity: 12% [?]

Published:

2007, March 1 – 6:54 am

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Categories:

Visions & Family

Comments:

Still Awake

6:21am

["Lament of the Highborne" by Russell Brower & Derek Duke]

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

I tried to go to sleep around 2am, but after about 30 minutes, I got back up again to do something. Went back to bed around 3:30am, but ended up lying in bed restless until around 5:30am.

The last few days have been a slight reflection of a year ago. The difference however, is that I’ve been working non-stop straight for the last three days, totally to about 25 hours of Razor work. It was quite a bit of pressure to draw up a rough concept, and work without much of any preparation, then I had to draw my own illustrations – the area I am least experienced in. However, the result is about 90% to my satisfaction.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, February 21 – 7:03 am

Author:

Categories:

Visions & Family

Comments:

Agusta Spotted!

5:26pm

Another useless entry, but I have to say, when I watched Season 6, Episode 7, in that split second Sabine and Richard pulled away from the check point, there it was – a gorgeous Agusta MV F4 in its traditional red and silver racing colours! ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!

It’s like witnessing a Sasquatch, but many million times more real and more frequent, though definitely not as frequent as the Yamaha R1. [wink] I actually finished it, then rewinded it to that second and paused. YES, indeed it IS an MV F4! Just had to make sure, in case, considering my eyes aren’t what they used to be… 8/

5:29pm

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, February 16 – 5:40 pm

Author:

Categories:

Inspirational

Comments:

Mini Mews

To counter the very recent unfortunate disturbances that has unfolded, I would like to present Fuzzy Baby Mew Mews:

7:57pm

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, February 15 – 8:07 pm

Author:

Categories:

Fuzzy Things

Comments:

All Love Can Be

5:31pm

["The Most Beautiful Duets" by Sarah Brightman & the London Symphony Orchestra feat Jose Cura]

Ever since Laura asked me about cloning, I thought it would be so great if I can clone myself, but that is only if my mind is intact. I have this vision that cannot be achieved in my lifetime. I think with the right adjustment of guidance, I can steer myself towards achieving it one day however.

So for some of you who are frequent contributors to DC, you may have noticed that I haven’t submitted a post on the main site for a few days, aside from the forum. Like those days that I haven’t, I tried avoiding the main site altogether, but I visited it anyway and found myself rejecting myself. If I hadn’t, I would have been sick to my stomach.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, February 14 – 8:28 pm

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Comments:

Chia Kitten Meow Meow (Update 3)

02/01/2007 @ 6:08pm

My last small web project was finally completed Friday night. However, I still haven’t sent the invoice out yet to collect payment. Damn web editing manual is a bitch to write-up. Should be done by tomorrow though.

With that said, I started on the Chia Kitten a few days ago. After soaking Ms. Kitten in water for 24 hours, I proceeded to seed her. Alas, I found that the seeds also needed to be soaked in water for 24 hours. [sigh] So another 24 hours went by, 48 for Ms. Kitten, and finally, pasted the seeds on her body. My mom saw her and cringed cuz the seeds reminded her of insect eggs.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, February 14 – 12:10 am

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Comments:

Ms. Anti-Martini Anons VS Mr. Martini Leeman

4:42pm

First, I would like to say that DearCupid.org is an excellent place to seek out open help from willing volunteer moderators, various contributors, and Andrew the operator and admin guy. Second, I would like to give a sincere apology to those that have put up with my shit from time to time. Lastly, here is my vent/rant post in continuance with the one I made on DC a couple of days ago.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, February 9 – 5:33 pm

Author:

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Comments:

The Disappearing Act

1:11am

Lately, I’ve been thinking about stuffs again. One of the things I was thinking about was about inducing certain ‘negative’ emotions in trying to achieve other emotions or to initial certain things to happen. [laughs]

I was thinking about what Albert said about disappearing without letting anyone know, etc, but if I had that chance, that is what I would do. I would pack my bags, bring a wad of cash, and disappear for a few years, possibly write to my family/friends once every now and then, but never leaving a return address.
Read More »

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, February 9 – 2:37 am

Author:

Categories:

Visions & Family

Comments:

The Level 1 Nerd

12:04am

I’ll be posting up my battles in Neverwinter Nights 2 soon, as well as some new screenshots from WoW BC, and NFSU2. Ain’t that just so damn hot? [vomits]

[lost train of thought]

Hmmm…

Oh yes, now I remember. Another completely pointless entry from your’s truly. Since Jon and Patrick were the only two who were ‘recently’ in my room, the rest of you haven’t stepped foot here, so I’ll give you an update of what it looks like now. Plus, I’m showing off these two Tenjho Tenge wall scrolls I got yesterday through mail order. SWEET!

^^ That’s my computer in the middle, with the door on the left of the picture. That framed picture is from an old movie, but I don’t know what that movie is. Jessica sent this to me a few years ago. I love this picture – it’s very romantic in a subtle way. The image is of a person wrapping itself over a naked woman. I’m going to reposition this picture somewhere else, cuz I don’t like where it is at the moment.
Read More »

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, February 9 – 12:39 am

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Comments:

My Man In The Army

6:24pm

Before I embark on a journey back into manual writing for my recent client, I’m going to post up an email someone sent me about her man joining the army and stuff.

hi i have a bit of a problem and i would love to hear any advice.

my bf of 2 years recently joined the army in september an is currently in training. it is very stressful not been able to see him and very upsettin when i really need him to be hear for me. in a rage i asked him what is more important a happy life with me or the army and he said the army. i no it was an unfair question but i cant help but feel hurt and pushed aside for a job. i really do love him with all my heart and i feel i should apologise but not shore how or if i should apologise im confused weva i was in the wrong or not if you can understand that please help me it will be very helpful :)

Despite her atrocious grammar and disgusting spelling, my reply was…
Read More »

Popularity: 10% [?]

Published:

2007, February 6 – 6:35 pm

Author:

Categories:

Love Economics

Comments:

Sex, Just Add Water

4:02pm

["Traces" by Enigma]

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Just came home from my client’s place. What a fun 4 hours! Weee! [sobs]

There was actually another entry before this that I submitted. It was a long one, but after about an hour, I decided to take it offline. There were way too much stuff in there that I found uncomfortable to release to the public. I even added the usual password to it, but decided that certain readers may be way too suspicious about stuff. Mind you, I have to say that if they at all suspected, it would be all in their heads. Alas, tact and strategy is something better suitable for blah blah blah.
Read More »

Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, January 31 – 6:06 pm

Author:

Categories:

Dreams
Sex

Comments:

The Chick Magnet (Or Lack Thereof)

8:29am

As I said in Pat’s blog entry: “Pick up chicks eh? HAHAHAHAâ€¦ You know, for the life of me, I have never used that word in any of my speeches or comments. Itâ€™s quite uncanny.”

Right, please help support the Cause Of Patrick here: http://www.patrick-leung.com. Here’s an awesome picture that Pat took of me on my 28th birthday:

BTW, for members of this blog site who wish to receive an uncanny gift from your’s truly, email your postal address to me. Don’t worry, it’s not related to sexual stuffs, though you probably still could use it for that reason if you really wanted to. 8]

8:32am

Popularity: 12% [?]

Published:

2007, January 25 – 8:42 am

Author:

Categories:

Bunches Of Oats

Comments:

WoW Theory VIII Starring Spongey & Fongpei

6:10am

^^ Spongey, the Blood Elf priest. Before I logged off, she made it all the way to level 8. Give her a hand for making so far! [wink]

This morning, I was woken up by someone ringing my cell. It was a previous client asking me for something. After I hung up, for a moment, I felt like a young kid again when a huge yellow exclamation mark popped over my head. I dazely got out of bed, went downstairs and found a parcel addressed to me, as well as a Visa statement from my bank that I need to pay $23 minimum this month. Didn’t I cancel paper letters from RBC?!?

Anyway, I went back upstairs to my room, opened the package and smiled. It was the Burning Crusade expansion for WoW. Before I could muster up any energy to go install it, I fell back asleep.
Read More »

Popularity: 17% [?]

Published:

2007, January 24 – 6:48 am

Author:

Categories:

Bunches Of Oats

Comments:

Superficial Love

6:36am

I should try to fall back asleep at 9am, to get another 2 hours in before my work at a client’s at 11am. Got my barely 3 hours earlier though. If you get the chance, take a look at the McLaren F1 picture in my McLaren F1 VS Koenigsegg CCX entry and then read the comment I made about the door hydraulics. What do you think? Weird eh?

Anyway, another porn thread popped up, but this time, I attacked the problem and not the surface material as most people would usually. The question asker 26-29 Ms. Anon said:

im a very open minded but i just wonder if any one can suggest how i can tell my bf that his porn internet surfing makes me feel insecure. I look at porn and we watch it together but when i find out he’s been looking i worry he will realise there is better than me out there. Help?

And my reply was:
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Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, January 22 – 6:55 am

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Koenigsegg CCX VS McLaren F1

8:18pm

^^ McLaren F1

So I’ve replaced my all-time dream car, a McLaren F1 with the Koenigsegg CCX. The McLaren F1 has been on my top spot since I got my hands on Need For Speed 2 in the mid 1990’s, did some research, and saw one in Hong Kong inside an exhibition in person, I pretty much became obssessed with this gorgeous beast. Mind you however, it IS the world’s most expensive road production car, costing at a whopping $1 million to $1.25 million US dollars each! Why so much? The body, parts, and engineering of course. Without getting into details, I’ll just give you acceleration speeds…
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Popularity: 23% [?]

Published:

2007, January 20 – 8:48 pm

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Inspirational

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All The Little Things

7:27pm

Lots of work tonight. [sighs] So I read a thread posted by an 18-21 Ms. Anon just now with the following:

Hi. I have been together with my boyfriend for almost two years. When we first started going out, he was really sweet and attentive. And now some things have really started to change. He doesn’t kiss me anymore unless we are having sex, he never compliments me on anything, and he never tells me that he loves me unless i say it first. However, he does big things for me like takes me on vacation and buys really nice gifts for me at holiday times. Although i really do appreciate all of that stuff, to me, the small things are equally, if not more, important. I try to tell him that i love him very often, and kiss him all of te time. I have tried bringing this up to him, but he basically says in response is “how can you even say that when i do so much for you”. I dont feel loved by him anymore, and the big things dont make up for it. Please help me.

Aside from the three previous aunts giving their tidbits of the usual “talk with him” which is actually all she can really do on a positive note, I replied:
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Popularity: 13% [?]

Published:

2007, January 20 – 7:38 pm

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Categories:

Love Economics

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Emma's Answer

5:52am

So I’m toiling away on my current project and finally decided to take a brief break before continuing. I thought about what Emma asked during the summer and think I can give a clear answer now.

The question was in her words, “Why wouldn’t you treat your girlfriend like a princess if you were to have a long term relationship with her?” The theme mind you was what I told her before she asked me that. I told her that there are two most likely stances I would take if I am in a relationship with someone intimately. One of the stances would be if I can feel that my relationship from the beginning is mainly about play, bursts of fun, and the like, then I would put a lot of emphasize on treating her like a princess. Shower her with partial attention and give her a lot of good lovin. 8] The other stance would be if I feel that my relationship has potential to last far beyond the initial attraction and wild sex, I wouldn’t treat my girlfriend like a princess per se.
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Popularity: 11% [?]

Published:

2007, January 20 – 6:28 am

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Categories:

Love Economics

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Warre’s Warrior Special Reserve II

7:26am

["Memory" by Yoko Kanno]

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I’m close to finishing up my bottle of Port from the summer of 2006. This time however, I did the unthinkable. I added two blocks of ice to about a shot and a half of Warre’s Special Reserve. [takes a sip] No, it’s more like two shots, unless the ice already melted enough. [takes another sip]

My parents got me this overhead crib-chime when my mom was barely 9 months pregnant. The dangly thing is gone by now, but the music box is still here. I think it’s in my closet. It plays “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head”.
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Popularity: 12% [?]

Published:

2007, January 18 – 8:25 am

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Categories:

Visions & Family

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Bold Buns And Then Some

7:30pm

["Evolution" by Sasha and John Digweed]

Finally home from my two hour meeting with the team. More st