Archive for 'Tea Girl'
Being Attractive
November 6, 2009 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Sex, Tea Girl.
Now before anyone develops their own particulars, I will point out that I’ve been thinking about this for a long long long time and this entry takes on the objective perspective of that. There is nothing sinister nor demeaning through the words I will express here. However, know that this IS coming from my perspective.
In a previous entry, I was going to mention about a particular girl that has become very attractive for me. I was also going to mention that she was a caterpillar who went through the transitional process of the cocoon and came out a butterfly. A beautiful, ‘exotic’ butterfly.
Now, what sparked the motivation to enter this entry had to do with some thoughts that fell back on another girl whom I was friends with, who constantly and actively sought out a new intimate partner. In the many conversations we’ve had, she has always been thinking about what would make her more attractive. I told her that though indeed, attraction is relative to the individual, your overall value in that same attraction would be many times more attractive, if she had more to offer. More to offer meant more opportunities and more opportunities meant better chances in finding and accepting someone you much prefer, over someone you least prefer. In other words, rather than settling for someone you feel you can get by in life, you can find someone and accept a lifestyle where you can get more from it. (more…)
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Rhetoric I
November 5, 2009 by Leeman, under Bunches Of Oats, Love Economics, Realization, Tea Girl, Visions & Family.
Often I wonder if all I have to do is try harder. Often I wonder if all I have to do is pick up the phone or maybe, even just drive over and grab her out. Sometimes, I ask myself, “Do I just have to say it?” or is that simply not enough and I actually have to go and just sweep her off the ground?
Most of yesterday, I thought about stuff. It is correct what I thought. I knew the answers of course. However, I already think about what I can do to help myself. Am I doing it? I am, which is an oddity because it is out of my norm. Though, I did forget to continue it yesterday. So I have to do it today.
I know if I don’t try, I will continue to regret, but at the same time, I fear of being discovered, discovered that I am less than what I was, becoming what I am. I fear that she would discover me as just a wretched human being that seek something that other humans want. (more…)
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Hong Kong 10/22 to 11/12/2006 – Part II
November 14, 2006 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Sports & Traveling, Summer in June, Tea Girl, Visions & Family.
Continued from PREVIOUS PAGE – click here. I decided to split this entry up into two parts, as the bandwidth was killing me.
^^ There’s something nice and artistic about the blur in this photo. Don’t u agree? 8]
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Hong Kong 10/22 to 11/12/2006 – Part I
November 14, 2006 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Sports & Traveling, Summer in June, Tea Girl, Visions & Family.
2:14am
Please note that it will take me a good two to three hours to upload the photos one by one – very tedious, and try to remember what happened that moment, then string it up to look real perty… [sigh] Oh, and I deleted the previous two entries. Sorry to all the people that made comments. They were good comments… [sobs]
Let’s start off this entry with my very moody face…
^^ I was super grouchy in this pic. There were a number of reasons: 1) just went through a 14 and a half hour flight in an Air Canada Airbus-300 jet, flying econ class without properly preparing for this grueling flight beforehand – eg: spending most of the time doing nothing. At least I got to watch MI3. 2) the van taxi that picked us up had this disgusting overwhelming perfume smell that came out of its ventilation every time the van stopped and went at an intersection or something. The disgusting smell was the type that attacks your nostrils at full force and then invades your brain for a good dose of “shit, it’s eating my lobes and pulling my stomach up my throat”. Oh and did I tell u that it took a good hour to get from the airport to our village? 3) I was met with a large dose of heat and humidity. Which made my nutsack sweat and become uncomfortable.
[ponders] I think this pic of me as a starter just destroyed my chances of ever getting a new girlfriend. Nice! [both thumbs up! WAY UP! (way up your ass damn it)]
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You Sang To Me
August 11, 2006 by Leeman, under Dreams, Inspirational, Love Economics, Tea Girl, Visions & Family, Why Is The Moon?.
1:16am
Tune: “You Sang To Me” by Marc Anthony
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A few months after Virginia gave up on me, I heard this song play on the stereo. The lyrics didn’t click until around late August 2000.
All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can’t believe I didn’t see it in your eyes
I didn’t see it, I can’t believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I’ll see it in your eyes
I didn’t see it, I can’t believe it
Oh but I feel it
It has been six years already. When I was with June, I was happy. It was very apparent, but Virginia was on my mind most of that entire time. She was on my mind for a long time, because I felt that I pushed someone that I really adored away, just because I felt at the time that I wasn’t a good enough person. I tried to give myself many reasons – negative ones and neutral ones. When everything fell apart on me in June 2000, I broke down. It was an extremely painful month for me. Over that summer, I locked myself in the washroom late in the night, while the security guards left me alone to my tears and suppressed silent cries.
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Dla Ma Ta Jo
July 8, 2006 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Sex, Tea Girl.
1:19am
["Santi-U (Macross Plus DVD Main Menu Version)" by Yoko Kanno]
The title of this entry means “If you give up your body, it will drown.”
I’ve always loved the sound of cannons firing. I am definity a fighter by heart. Unfortunately, I am born in the wrong era. My passion is buried deep within my heart. I know exactly what it is, but living in today’s society, that ‘fantasy’ is shunned.
Mmm, I’m getting a little high and sleepy from the Kokanee.
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Wanna Come With Me?
June 5, 2006 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Sports & Traveling, Summer in June, Tea Girl, Visions & Family, Why Is The Moon?.
1:41am
["Stronger" - Sugababes]
It’s time I go back to being myself after such a long a tedious journey. If you’re wondering, it’s not that I wasn’t myself, it’s just that I lost something along the way. It’s numbing to live like this. It was even more frustrating to be unable to find what I lost – not being able to accurately pinpoint the thing.
I need some milk. [comes back with milk] Mmm, nothing like milk… 8]
Imagine a spinning rubix cube, except that all the pieces aren’t together. They’re all spinning around and around, some faster than others, trying to come back together again. Then somewhere along the way, one of the pieces gets lost. In the moment where I was able to finally collect myself, I find that a piece of me had been lost. No, this didn’t have much to do with Cindy and our fucked up relationship. Actually, I lost this piece a couple of years before I met her.
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Cloud Age Symphony
June 1, 2006 by Leeman, under Bunches Of Oats, Sports & Traveling, Summer in June, Tea Girl, Visions & Family, Why Is The Moon?.
2:12am
["Toki No Tabiji" - DJ Krush, ft. Inden]
Mr. Krush never cease to churn out some raging orgasmic sounds from his machines.
So an update on my stuff. How boring. [thumb up] Got off my day job at 4pm, went home, touched up on some of the decals I was working on for [censored]. Yes, our CTO has requested I no longer mention [censor] until AFTER it’s finalized and launched into the public. I must have a code word for it. I’ll call it… Hmm… [rubs fuzzy chin] Hmm… I’ll call it… I’ll call it “Fuzzy Chin”! YES!
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Orange Juice @ 1:34am
May 30, 2006 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Sex, Tea Girl, Visions & Family, Why Is The Moon?.
["Infinity" - Vargo]
I think I am hopelessly lost in the realm of intimate emotions. I wasn’t willing to let go and this is where it got me. I thought I would be stronger than this, but as I was wandering around in SWG, I felt that there is indeed a ‘pool of acid’ in the depths of my heart. It’s not killing those loving emotions, but as it continously heals, the acid continues to repeatedly melt away the layers, like a never ending cycle of healing and wounding. I know it’s making my heart stronger with every passing moment, and I hate to admit this, but I find that it’s not very healthy psychologically.
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The Gray From The White
May 23, 2006 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Sports & Traveling, Tea Girl, Visions & Family.
3:02am
["Gate Crashers @ 56:00" (CD2)]
The single memory I remember from when I was a bit more than a year was lying in between my mom and my dad in bed at night. I was awake for some reason and the entire room flashed. I looked toward the window, through the separation of the curtains and another flash of lightning streaked in the sky, then thunder roared through the heavens. I have never feared the sound of thunder. In fact, I feel so ‘enlightened’ but thunder and lightning. It’s as though an orchestra of nature is bombarding the ether around me. I love the sound of it all, the lights and the power that it emits.
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Stand Alone Complex
May 17, 2006 by Leeman, under Bunches Of Oats, Love Economics, Sports & Traveling, Tea Girl, Why Is The Moon?.
12:32am
["Inner Universe" by Yoko Kanno]
Today was a pretty hot day. When I was driving home from work, geez, I was wondering how people can survive in this weather – how people in Hong Kong can survive in their weather! I did some stuff, and called Pat at 7:30pm. We talked mainly about tennis then asked if he would be interested in some cycling with me, then to the gym afterwards. I took my bike stuffs and met him at his place at 8:15pm. Geared up, then took a nice faster paced ride in the middle to south western ends of Richmond.
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Close Encounters of the Third Kind
May 2, 2006 by Leeman, under Summer in June, Tea Girl, Visions & Family, Why Is The Moon?.
2:02am
Oops, almost typed “cu/\/t” instead of “kind”. 8]
Did you know that I never swore/cursed this much before shit started between Meow and I? Ah, I have to try to revert back. Hmm… Maybe not revert back, but change the ‘bad’ stuff. Did you know, even when Jessica was super pissed at me back in the day, not EVER in ANY of the emails I sent to her contained swear words? [grin] The only time I actually swore to do with a girlfriend or a love potential was with June, but it had nothing to do with June. I think it was me driving and June was passenger, and some fuc… Some retard cut me off so I chased him (yeah I know) and swore in Cantonese excessively. I had a lot of work stress that day.
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Going Home
May 1, 2006 by Leeman, under Inspirational, Love Economics, Sex, Summer in June, Tea Girl, Visions & Family, Why Is The Moon?.
11:23pm
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Dreamer
April 19, 2006 by Leeman, under Bunches Of Oats, Love Economics, Summer in June, Tea Girl.
1:59am
(Playing “The Tune” by Url)
Yumminess! I’m having my nightly dose of a shot and a half of Malibu and some sort of citrus surprise. Gotta try to be in bed by 2:15am LATEST!
So supposedly, I’m a very naughty person. [grin]
Seems like I’m entering an entry at least once every one or two days. I wanted to enter something ‘meaningful’ earlier, but was caught up in doing stuff.
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Summer In June
April 8, 2006 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Summer in June, Tea Girl.
2:42am
Since I was hoping to get some leads on Virginia’s new contact info, I loaded up some super old emails from 1998 to 2002. Back in the day, I used Mail Warrior to read my emails.
Anyway, I went through the few folders I have and with this ambience playing in the background, I really felt a huge surge of sadness but sadness in a peaceful way. I read through Albert’s earliest emails to me in late 2000, Jon’s emails in mid 2000, some of my Jim Pattison, AWF, and Stern emails, and finally Summer In June emails – they were email correspondence between June and I.
Ah June… With this tune playing, and me being really sleepy, I do feel I still miss her. I think pass all the fogs of war, the sudden emptiness, heart-break, and other factors, I can see her, on an island of dreams. Though our relationship lasted 2.5 months in early 2001, that was the best 2.5 months of my life thus far.
June healed a portion of my wounds. She was a mature, responsible, elegant, classy, feminine, street smart, intelligent, well-styled, fun and experienced young woman. Back in 2001, I was 22 and she was 25.
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Tea Girl
April 7, 2006 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Tea Girl.
10:10pm
Came back from work around 5:27pm. My dad loves to stay within the speed limit, which is a good thing. It takes him about 23 minutes to drive about 2 kilometres. On a good morning, it takes me about 7 minutes to get to work. On a good afternoon, it takes me about 15 minutes to get back home. SPEED KILLS!
I agree.
I should think about other people more.
Anyway, I had to do some stuff, then took a 14 minute nap, then showered, dressed, etc, and out the door to Kirin on Westminster Hwy. It is my mom’s birthday today. It’s also Virginia’s birthday today. I wanted to give her a call after like 6 years… Well, 5 years since I called her. So I searched my room for my two old Nokia phones – a 5190 and a 6188. Oh yeah! They’re OLD! Finally found them in a box somewhere in my closet.
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After Eight's Martini
April 5, 2006 by Leeman, under Love Economics, Tea Girl.
The other night – Saturday April 1st, I went to Savage Driving Range with Edmund. It was about 8pm, and it was freakin cold for some ungodly reason! The whole time I thought, while I listened to Ed drive his balls down the range was well of course… 8/ Every time he hit the ball, I would take time to enjoy the sound of it. I even said to him, “I like the sound of it when you hit them.”
I sat there, observing and thinking… “Yeah I know, my friends and family are now completely against her, and yes, my logic and reasoning says she is a total bitch, but why does my heart feel otherwise?” I pondered, and pondered, and pondered. Then Ed shoves the driver into my face and says, “Go hit some balls!”
After two buckets, he packed the irons away and we went back into the range, got him a MDG, and a Kokanee for myself. Sat down, and just chilled for 30 minutes. Then called Albert and we met up at Also Lounge. At two martini’s, I said to Ed, “Man, I was going to take her here!” Then he shook his head at me and replied, “You gotta stop thinking about that!” And I was like, “Yeah, I know I know…”
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