For the last few days, I’ve been especially down and I think the whole thing with Pete three days ago really sparked the active down-ness. After I read his 2nd post in the forums and after everyone including myself defended ourselves and made it seem like we were ganging up on him, I felt extremely depressed. I knew he was a sensitive guy since from years ago and after that, I knew he was going to take it pretty hard. Then it happened. He left us all.

As the GM of a guild, I do not consider myself the “Big Boss”. I just consider myself as part of the management team. In Pete’s last essay post in our Secret Treehouse, he remarked that he felt amongst other things that as a guild, we shouldn’t keep secrets from each other, that we shouldn’t have a secret meeting place to talk behind other people’s backs. I disagreed with him greatly. However, instead of reiterating our entire conversation here, I will just say that when a guild gets big enough, officers need a place to discuss how to direct the guild and how to handle certain people – ALL THE WHILE keeping in mind their personalities, the stability of the guild and the overall representation of our name.

In short: some people have short tempers, others are very patient and tolerant. Some people are very sensitive and sweet, while others may be blunt and apathetic. Some people might need to be talked a certain way to be considerate towards their personalities and way of thought. Some others might desire straight-up, no BS sort of direct answers.

I support the “Knights of the Round Table” sort of management, but as such, those that follow us and are what could be considered our ‘brethren’, ‘should’ also give their trust to us. So far in the last 1.5 years, have we once steered the guild in a way in which to compromise our fun and friendship? Have we once mete out punishment unfairly? Have we once refuse to hear the suggestions and feelings of our guild members? Never. We have always listened and reacted accordingly. When an officer suggested an action for punishment, I always looked at it with a more caring eye and always suggested “another chance”.

There is one thing Pete could not take into consideration and that was as management, as officers, we have to think objectively. We have to think with an open BUT considerate mind. We cannot just act on the notion of impulse. Sure, someone like Mel might be able to handle our opinions and suggestions, but can Pete guarantee that the other roughly 40 guild members we have can also handle it? Has he never thought that some people does not react the same way as Mel? Mel over a year ago, had destructive tendencies and she even said herself that sometimes she needed to be reminded that she ‘shouldn’t’ go off on people like that. As officers, sometimes we vent, sometimes we blow off some heat, but we do that IN CONSIDERATION of those we are venting about. After we do that, it’s gone. It’s water under the bridge. It’s where the officers, the managers blow off some steam where we normally couldn’t or shouldn’t.

Pete has his heart in the right place and in theory would have made a great Captain, but in practice, he was too emotionally charged. That is fine and I think that’s fantastic as a friend, but as an officer, one must look at things much farther into the horizon and beyond that.

I could not post this at the forums because I didn’t want to re-stir this topic up again when people there are doing their best to ‘heal’ from this loss. Yes, it IS a loss because we lost a great partner and friend and of course, a great tank ^_~.

I am sorry that we sounded so harsh and felt as though we were ganging up on him and I think my emotions of injustice took over, as well as my ‘professional’ stance on how management should be like. However, ultimately, this was just a matter of personal opinion and our differences on that. In fact, I was going to ask Mel to ask him to come back ‘home’ in a few days after things cool down. Alas, he is gone to sort out his own life, something he wanted to do awhile ago anyway. His Captain’s seat is still opened, when one day, if he decides to come back. He will be missed and I hope he knows that.

There are parts of this tune that I don’t like, but I’ve been listening to this tune for the last 3 days, nearly non-stop because parts of it sound really good. Good parts: 1:12 leading up to 1:46, then from there to 2:16 and right at 2:17-ish is when the bit really gets to me until 3:02. Reminds me of days long past, where I used to compose music inspired by such artists as Darkhalo, Necros and the NOiSE, Kahvi, Miasmah and Tokyo Dawn collective of the late 1990′s to mid 2000′s. Unfortunately, most of them became meh to me after that.

It also reminds me of the days when my emotions ran wild and my inability to be considerate of others, where I ‘rebelled’ and sought an outlet. Those were fun times, memorable and worth every moment. Mind you, I will definitely choose not to relive those memories again. They are too cruel to me in my latter years.

Madhu has been emailing me like crazy lately thinking I am utterly depressed out of my mind, but I am not. I am alone and lonely, but not depressed out of my mind. At the very least, I went out for a bike ride yesterday after taking a break from riding for almost 3 weeks. Not that I was really taking a break to begin with, since I haven’t exactly ridden consistently for the last year to warrant a break.

I posted a short wall post at Facebook about an hour ago. It says: “Who else do you know that works from 2pm to 3am daily, 6 to 7 days per week?” Michelle responded: “No! That’s crazy hours. Can’t be good for the soul.” Then I snickered, went downstairs, got a slice of ‘simple bread’ and some juice and came up here for this post.

I enjoy my work and it’s a bit funny because I can do this sort of work much more optimally than I do for something something. Yes, something something. I vow to keep my career-related business off my personal blog, at least keep the substances of the two separate. Let’s put it this way: I enjoy my work here much more than I do with a client that does not know how to appreciate my work and always uses the blame game whenever something doesn’t go her way and is out of my control. At least this way, I deal directly with the business and the problems. Where as the other way, I deal with one person that don’t know anything. I’m sure many of you have faced similar issues in the past. Did it make you throw a bunch of pillows together and punch them against the boss’ door repeatedly and aggressively? No? Me neither, though I have fantasized about it.

I’m almost out of Cruzen premium rum, but I’ve been craving for Bombay Gin for quite awhile now. What about you?

$50,000,000
Priority 1: Pay off the house mortgage: $180,000
Priority 2: Pay off my family’s debt: $40,000
Priority 3: Buy my dad a new SUV: $40,000

Left over: $49,740,000

Then it goes like this:
5,000,000: Goes to my brother.
1,000,000: Buy a small piece of land in Schonberg, build a cozy 4 bedroom home there with an art studio and whatever is left over, put into an account that Amber can use.
1,250,000: To buy a 1000sq ft apartment for my 3rd eldest aunt and her husband.
1,250,000: To buy a 1000sq ft apartment for my younger uncle and his family.
4,000,000: Split between 6 aunts and uncles on my mom’s side and 2 aunts on my dad’s side.
3,000,000: Split between 6 of my married cousins.
1,000,000: For Christina.
1,000,000: For my mom’s best friend.
1,000,000: On various gifts to my other cousins, relatives and family friends.
4,000,000: Split between 8 of my closest married friends.
3,000,000: Split between my other closest friends.

Left over: $24,240,000

Others:
1,000,000: Into a 2000 sq ft house in Richmond for my parents..
1,000,000: Into another 2000 sq ft house in Richmond for myself.
1,000,000: Into miscellaneous things between my parents and myself.

Left over: 22,240,000

Non-Profit Organizations:
1,000,000: Split up into various selected charities.
3,000,000: Put into a GIC account to earn interest. The interest will be used to donate to various charities every year.
1,240,000: Create my own foundation that helps local drug abuse and homeless.
1,000,000: To create a program for the foundation that teaches people how to ease off drug use.
5,000,000: Put into a GIC to earn interest to fund the foundation.
1,000,000: Create another foundation to help the local children of low-income families realize their dreams in sports, arts, theatre, etc.
3,000,000: Put into GIC to fund the foundation.
500,000: Into my own stray pets shelter.
1,500,000: To fund the shelter through interest from GIC.

Left over: $5,000,000

With the remaining 5 million dollars, I would put that into GIC’s and use the interest to fund my yearly needs and other expenses.

————

What a nice fantasy eh? ^_^

————

Now let’s look at something a lot less extravagant:

$1,000,000
Priority 1: Pay off the house mortgage: $180,000
Priority 2: Pay off my family’s debt: $40,000
Priority 3: Buy my dad a new SUV: $40,000

Left over: $740,000

Then it goes like this:
100,000: Goes to my brother.
250,000: Split between my relatives and friends through gifts, etc.
30,000: Goes to Amber.
40,000: A new SUV for my dad.
30,000: A new car for myself.

Left over: $290,000

Others:
150,000: In my chequing account to continue to give monthly allowances of $1200 to my parents.
50,000: Into miscellaneous things between my parents and myself.

Left over: $90,000

Non-Profit Organizations:
20,000: To various charities.

Left over: $70,000

With what’s left over, I will put it into my GIC savings account at ING.

————

And if I ever win $100,000…

10,000: Goes to my brother.
5,000: Goes to Amber.
20,000: Gifts and stuff for my friends and relatives.
5,000: For various charities.
30,000: For a new car.
10,000: Renovate the house, replace some furniture.
12,000: Goes to one year allowance of $1000/month to my parents.
5,000: Goes to my savings GIC.
3,000: Goes to see Amber.

————

And that’s that. ^_^

As you have noticed, the entire blog from March 2006 to July 2011 is gone. Well actually, it’s still around. It’s just that it’s no longer searchable by the search engines. I checked the traffic logs earlier and I generated 128,000 unique hits this year so far. Which is a far cry from what generated back in 2007 and 2008 at about 110,000 unique visitors per month. At least this year generated almost quadruple the amount of traffic I had in 2010. Alas, it doesn’t matter anyway. I had a lot of search engine bots and readers but rarely any comments anymore.

Tune: “Come Undone” by Duran Duran
Drink: Water
Mood: Sleepy

If you’re still interested in reading the old stuff, you can visit it here: http://www.leemanism.com/original_blog. Your old member accounts will still work there. For this new blog, you no longer have to register to comment. Just keep your emails consistent when you respond though, so I can keep track of who is who.

So you might wonder why I replaced the old blog with this new one? Well, I figured that after more than six years, it’s about time I make the blog a bit more to do with personal experiences and ideas, than a blog about random things. I had over 600 entries in the old blog, 456 which were published and even scarier? I had over 6000 image files uploaded on that site generating about 8 GB’s per year of bandwidth. Most active blogging sites generate less than 3 GB’s per year.

Anyway, another big reason is that I want to start taking the site more seriously even at times in a comical way: seriously and responsibly. You might wonder what that last bit really means. Well, it means I want my blog to start to affect people again in a thoughtful way. My last blog trailed off into the stupidity of the daily mundane rantings of a numbed-out and very bored individual. This was something I was trying to avoid in the beginning. This was the exact same crap that so many bloggers do and I very much dislike it.

These will be my memoirs and they will contain some of my deepest thoughts and ideals. Hopefully, one day, if I have children of my own, they can read these thoughts and reflect on them. If not, then someone else will. There is very little in terms of deserved pride and moral principle in this world, as much of it is in reality, very superficial and shallow. Maybe I can help inject some perspective into your little world from my little world?

Photo by: Patrick Leung

Even though I was thinking more along the lines of Ravenclaw, but according to this test, I was only 2 points off from them.

Your in-depth results are:

Hufflepuff – 14
Ravenclaw – 12
Gryffindor – 9
Slytherin – 7

rs42: Obama gave the order. A Republican pulled the trigger.

In which another member responded and I really like what s/he said:

PoppyLee: A SOLDIER pulled the trigger. There is no red or blue in the service, just red, white and blue.

As some of you know, Alabama state in the USA was recently hit with a massive tornado that killed about 350 people and left entire communities homeless, losing everything. The link above goes to a page with five choices. Just choose “Disaster Relief for Countless Crises (e.g. Tornadoes, Spring Floods, Wildfires, etc.)” and click Continue, then go through the procedure accordingly.

Prince William, I bet your mom would be very happy right now.

By the way Prince Harry, it seems like you’re next! 8D

1) Obama was not born in the USA
2) Obama hates Americans
3) Obama’s $2 billion donation to Brazil
- Obama says the USA will be Brazil’s “best customers” after trying to encourage the USA to stop drilling oil on its own soil
- Obama is trying to destroy America by investing into foreign companies

1) Obama was not born in the USA

TAMARLANE: WHERE IS THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?

Me: Why should Obama show his birth certificate when most of all the other American Presidents haven’t shown theirs? Name twenty consecutive American presidents that has shown their birth certificates. I bet you cannot and the only reason why Obama was singled out is because he has dark skin.

TAMARLANE: Because there are strange questions that havent been answered. Like why he has a ct social security number and why he has gone through great lengths to hide his past.

Me: Yes it would. Mind you, I don’t know what the laws are like for Hawaii to reveal birth certificate information. Apparently, it varies state by state.

I’m surprised you responded so politely. Most YouTubers I’ve debated with have often resorted to vulgarity and trolling. ^_^

TAMARLANE: I can be vulgar I prefer not to be.

Obama, like most of the other American presidents since George Washington, never had to prove whether they were born in the USA or not. If anyone can name 20 – yes twenty consecutive American presidents that have proved their birth certificates were in the USA, do so now. Else, I implore you to stop spreading the Republican-induced lies.

2) Obama hates Americans

This one always cracks me up. Please note the source of “Obama hates Americans”. It came from a Conservative extreme-right supporter and it’s NOT surprising that people will believe what they hear, especially when Obama actually goes into town hall meetings with every day average folk and listen to them, greet them shake hands with them, talk to them, answer questions, visit homes, donate to charities and least of all, Michelle Obama is involved with many charities.

hoosierhiver: Prior to becoming the president, they didn’t give shit to charity.

Me: Where do you get your information? o_o Before Mr. Obama took office, his wife was involved with a number of charities. She even quit her job at the mayor’s office to work at a charity named “Public Allies”. Look it up. They have donated to numerous charities before he became the president such as Abuse, Adoption, Fostering, Orphans, AIDS, At-Risk/Disadvantaged Youths, Children, Creative Arts, Disaster Relief, Education, Environment, Family/Parent Support, Grief Support, etc…

Please read:

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Obama
- http://perezhilton.com/2010-03-11-obama-chooses-charities-to-receive-nobel-peace-prize-money

Please think with your brains: if the Obamas hated America, they wouldn’t even think about donating to charities AND involving themselves hands-on with charities in America. In my understanding, Hitler who hated Jews and coloured people would refuse to shake hands with them. In my understanding, Obama shook hands with everyone. So which part of his donations, charitable involvements and hand shaking did it make him look like he hates Americans?

3) Obama’s $2 billion donation to Brazil

Firstly, please read these:

- http://www.factcheck.org/2009/09/bogus-brazilian-oil-claims/
- http://www.snopes.com/politics/gasoline/braziloil.asp

The real ‘fun’ began when a member responded to one of my comments against Tamarlane. He said:

starraider113: Because there are strange questions that havent been answered. Like why he has a ct social security number and why he has gone through great lengths to hide his past.

Me: You may not have realized this, but the Republicans have done a fine job of smearing Obama with lies upon lies and unfortunately, caused a mass paranoia about him. The best thing a person can do is either give into the paranoia of the Republican-induced drama OR stick to his guns and stand firm in his principles. The problem is that the majority of Americans (or any citizen in any country) will believe lies if enough people talk about it.

in clarity, the majority think that Obama is lying because the domino effect of lies started up by the Republican Party has taken into effect. No one can stop it because like the tsunami that destroyed part of Japan from the big earthquake, the chance to counter all these Republican lies by Obama and his supporters will be nearly impossible. That’s just how American society works, if not, most societies.

starraider113: They think he is lying because people are starting to see what an arrogant piece of shit he is.

Me: Explain three points where he was being arrogant.

starraider113: First of all, nothing is ever his fault. He accepts responsibility for nothing. He constantly tries deceiving americans with our energy problems, our economic problems and our health care problems. Then he tells a crowd “I remember what it was like pumping gas.” The guy is a disgrace.

Me: None of which you had said points out that he was arrogant.

1) To hold office as the president of the USA -IS- taking responsibility. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be the president. He is in his 2.5 year mark as president. He can only continue to do his job.

2) Health care problems existed long before he came into office. He tried to fix it with the UHC, but the Republican party messed it up and Obama compromised.

3) He’s not deceiving anyone with energy problems. This entire time, he has been trying to encourage renewable energy.

If you’re going to cherry pick his comment: “I remember what it was like pumping gas” then you are no better than the Republicans that constantly smear Obama with lies upon lies. Get your head out of your ass and stop grasping at straws. Remember the Republicans tried to dissuade you from voting him into office by saying he smokes? Yeah, exactly like that.

starraider113: Hes never taken responsibility for anything. Where is that laser like focus? Renewable energy is a deception. It costs three times as much and can never support our increasing population. He claims our problem is with foreign energy yet he donates billions to Brazil for exploration and then tells them that we will be their number 1 customer. Its a joke!!! We have the ability to be independent and liberal pieces of shit have been blocking it for years. Get ready to pay up for nothin

Let’s take a small break. Check out this cute cat video:

[yt]dfWqI2tdGDw[/yt]

Me: I knew you will bring this point up. Glenn Beck, the long-time Faux News right-wing extremist made up that story to smear Obama and spread lies about his non-existing deal with Brazil. IN FACT, it was Export-Import Bank people that George Bush had appointed prior to Obama taking office that made a LOAN to Brazil for their off-shore drilling project. It was only at this time that the application for this loan has finally taken effect.

starraider113: Oh Glenn Beck made it up?! This conversation is over. Obama did in fact donate money to Brazil for drilling and said we would be their best customer.

Me: I knew I was arguing against another delusionist. My arguments here are to show others just exactly how twisted people are in what they think they know. You have proved my point very accurately.

Go to FactCheck[DOT]Org and look up “Bogus Brazilian Oil Claims”. Also go to Snopes and look up “Did Obama loan $2 billion to Brazil’s oil company to benefit China and George Soros?” I can almost guarantee everyone that Starraider is too proud and ignorant to go look up the Obama myths and will continue to believe in the Republican lies.

starraider113: Umm you might want to recheck the dates on those articles and compare them to more recent ones;)

Me: No, I don’t think you actually understand. The 2009 dates MEANS that the “$2 billion dollar ‘donation’” was never fact. It was a story made up by Glenn Beck recently to help the Republicans smear Obama with more paranoia and lies. The FACT that the story of Obama making donations to Brazil recently are false stories twisted to suit Glenn Beck’s goal in smearing Obama. Faux News has done this before with Hannity. Look up “Sean Hannity Confesses Using Fake Footage” on YT.

starraider113: No I don’t think that you understand. I saw Barry with my own eyes and heard him with my own ears when he pledged money to Brazil and said we were going to be their best customers. There are articles as recent as this month that discuss this. I saw the Hannity thing when it was on tv. It was a fuss over a crowd at a rally.

Me: The Hannity thing was about Faux News trying to tell its viewers that the majority was against UHC as ‘fact’. As for Obama making the statement that the USA will be their best customers, Glenn Beck has a well-rounded history of cherry picking and taking things out of context. Here is a VERY recent article on this issue: look up “Dispelling the Brazil Oil Loan Myth as Obama Heads to Rio” at Forbes[DOT]com.

starraider113: The article was written before Barry went to Brazil. You have to read the post articles which put Barry in transcript. He made it very clear that he wants to be Brazils best customer and that we will support their technology. That means subsidize.

“We want to work with you. We want to help with technology and support to develop these oil reserves safely, and when you’re ready to start selling, we want to be one of your best customers,”

Barry Obama

Me: Obama made a pledge to encourage America to use renewable self-sustained energy without the continued dependence on fossil fuels. If another country wishes to drill oil on their own, that is their right. All Obama said was that he will help Brazil develop their industry through the loan Ex-Imp Bank made to them. Obama’s words “best customers” was twisted it around to make it seem like Obama is trying to deter America into making money and invest in foreign companies.

Furthermore, one of Obama’s main objectives is to improve foreign relations that the Bush administration corrupted. Obama is willing to extend a hand to nations that require aid from the USA, which in turn means a stronger relationship and from that, a potentially stronger import/export deal with them. The USA relies on trade to make its economy strong.

Lastly, the articles I’ve linked were trying to tell you the real substance of the issue and not all the fluff and glitter the Republicans paint this issue to be. The fact remains: the $2b from the USA to Brazil was a LOAN, not a donation. It’s also a loan made by Ex-Imp Bank from agents that Bush appointed. Obama will work with other nations to try to improve on foreign relations & create stronger trade deals which will in turn help make the USA economy stronger in the long run.

starraider113: Perhaps Barry should look at our own soil if he cares to make the country stronger.

Me: There are 2 big problems. 1 of them is NOT debt. The 1st major problem is the consistency of jobs created. The 2nd is that people need to start spending money. That’s an ‘Ouroboros’ ideal. So how can Obama encourage growth internally? By seeking deals in foreign lands. When foreign govts are willing to solidify trade deals with the USA, then industries at home can restart, thus creating jobs, thus allowing people to spend money. Do you see the formula now?

And that was that.

Let me explain why the problem isn’t debt for the USA right at this moment in time…

Obama’s goal is to solidify the American economy and help create jobs. To do this, people have to start spending money which will in turn promote demand. Demand will promote industries to start manufacturing materials and goods, thus creating jobs. However, at this moment in time, there is a stalemate in how the American economy has worked out. To help this problem, Obama has since the start of his term tried to improve relations with foreign countries. This can be anything from loans to natural disaster aid or simply showing up and shaking hands and work out the lingering tidbits.

Once Obama and his trade ministers are able to establish a better foothold in foreign soil with trade deals, industries back on American soil can start up again. Thus creating jobs for the American people. When people start making money again, they will start spending money to buy things they want. With this, the economy will start up again on two industrial fronts: A) Foreign trade and B) ability for American consumers to buy things again.

THAT is what Obama is trying to do. Now, you are probably wondering: “With this massive debt, how is America ever going to pick itself up again?”

The solution is simple and it goes back to what I was saying about having established foreign trade deals. Debt right now, amongst other things around the world is driving the American dollar down, but that can be resolved in the future when the USA has refortified its economy. Debt can always be paid off and the USA has a sort of resilience that will allow it to pay off its debt.

What many Americans don’t understand over and over again, which I confess annoys me, is that to stabilize the economy, you must spend money. To fortify a castle, you must spend a lot of materials to make it strong. If you have a weak foundation, you will have an even weaker building. Obama is spending trillions to try to refortify the foundations of America. Once that economy has been rebuilt, it can start to repay its debt.

Being president isn’t so easy, but I can be very sure, that it’s so damn easy for an American to cherry pick what they don’t have knowledge of and ‘hate’ your president for it.

—–

I am not a Liberal/Democratic-supporter. My political views have always been in the Middle. A few points to the left for some issues and a few points to the right for others. When I see the haters flame Obama for the little they know and/or influenced by the twisted commentators such as Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter, I really need to step in and just hammer the real truth into that corruption.