Desert Shades

Desert Shades

6:03am

[“Arabian Sushi” by Infernal]

As I was putting up the gallery link for the latest pictures at Pat’s place earlier this night, I had this song playing in the background. This is the type of music that make me reminiscent on past-times.

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^^ Looking North-Westward. That’s the western side of Cypress Mountain in North Vancouver. Iona Beach is on the North-Western part of Sea Island which is on the mouth of the north-arm Fraser River between Vancouver and Richmond.

After I uploaded the link to the gallery, I scrolled through the gallery avatars and thought that this year after my separation with Cindy, a lot of things happened. Though all local things, they were all good. Nothing too crazy, and not mild at all. Just right with a dash of bamboo and loong ngan. 8]

It has been a super long time since I’ve had so much fun, and to ‘end’ it all off, I’m going to Hong Kong in less than two weeks. With this song playing, it feels like I am saying good bye. [smiles] Sometimes, I do want to ‘end’ things like this. Sometimes, I would suddenly one day, pack my stuff, randomly pick a place in the world to go to and fly there, and explore. The real me don’t mind the risks so long as my family is taken care of. So if anything happens to me, I know that at least, financially, they will be taken care of. It IS a selfish way of thinking, but if I cannot be selfish this way, then I cannot truly be human then.

What do you think? What do you really want to do?

Off topic for a moment – I think of the lifetime count of about 400 or so people I’ve met in person and interacted with through the net or through postal mail, there are really only about 10 of them that don’t question so much, and rather can see between the lines. It’s not often at all that there are any more than 2 or 3 people like that. Most people that I’ve met and/or interacted with proclaim they are hybrid fluidities of society, rather than set categories of ideals. I’m sure, even those whom I share stuff with on a mentally intimate level such as my readers here*, some questions do arise…

[ponders]

*Though my site is public, and I do get loads of hits, there are only a small handful that readily responds here or contact me through email/phone/msn about my entries. Think of a public garden, well hidden from general society. Instead of impassable barriers like fences and walls, there are bushes and trees and narrow creeks that surround this garden. It may be hidden, but it can as well be easily crossed into, if people find it, and are curious enough.

Anyway… There is one thing I would like to say that sounds like a direct negative… That is, I don’t like inflexible, restrictive minds. Though it may be true that in a multiple choice question, all the given answers may not necessarily be absolutely true, the person asking the question may be seeking something beyond the answers themselves. Thus by not choosing a given answer, it only shows me how inflexible, and how restrictive your mind is. It may look/sound contradicting, but in fact, it’s all about building up the bigger picture, starting with all the tiniest of details. Things intertwine, mingle, and cross-breed. Ideals and materials are swapped from position to position, leaving trails and footprints of ideals long passed, yet lingering…

It’s simply thinking beyond the concept of infinite space.

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^^ A lot of my emotions can be described through this picture.

Good night… Good morning?

6:29am

5 Replies to “Desert Shades”

  1. All of humanity is selfish Li. Even those who dedicate their lives to others, have something that is selfish. I mean, if you think about it, humanitarians often do so much for others, but in the end, they ask themselves, “Has what I done made a difference?” And no matter the answer, they are happy, their final thought, more oft then not, is that they can be happy with what they did. Right there, is a selfish though.
    You my boy, are not selfish. Not in the general way of the term. You care more for your family, then for yourself, that alone says you aren’t selfish. Wishing that you could randomly pack up and disappear to a far off land, that’s a normal thing for alot of people who deal with the shit you have to deal with.
    Now, this is just my thoughts on the matter, and you don’t have to agree or whatever. But, I think, you should be damn proud of yourself. As far as I have seen of you, you’ve done all you ever could for your family, and for others who aren’t your family. Having these wishes and fantasies are a slight reward for your sacrifices.

    As for the rest of your blurb.
    Uhh…I like your metaphore for the site.

  2. Guh. For some reason, the name of this blurb reminds me of that stupid 80’s song by Cory whateverthefuckhisnameis.

    “I wear my sunglasses at night
    so I can, so I can blah blah blah”

    I dislike that song.

  3. Li just makes himself sound heroic to get the chicks….the asian girls that wear oven mitts, trying frantically to mix the mixture of oil and water, while they purr in frustration and run away, frightened by the remote control car.

    such a perverted mind Li has

  4. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… I haven’t mb’d today… Yet…. I don’t think I will ever find a cute bubbly, big eyed, somewhat naive, very silly girl to do that for me… [fantasizes about giant oven mittens, naked girl wearing an apron and fuzzy animal slippers, holding a giant wooden spoon and a bowl] Damn sexy!

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