So I’m toiling away on my current project and finally decided to take a brief break before continuing. I thought about what Emma asked during the summer and think I can give a clear answer now.
The question was in her words, “Why wouldn’t you treat your girlfriend like a princess if you were to have a long term relationship with her?” The theme mind you was what I told her before she asked me that. I told her that there are two most likely stances I would take if I am in a relationship with someone intimately. One of the stances would be if I can feel that my relationship from the beginning is mainly about play, bursts of fun, and the like, then I would put a lot of emphasize on treating her like a princess. Shower her with partial attention and give her a lot of good lovin. 8] The other stance would be if I feel that my relationship has potential to last far beyond the initial attraction and wild sex, I wouldn’t treat my girlfriend like a princess per se.
Of course, I didn’t make myself clear to her afterwards when she asked me that question. I didn’t feel a need. Plus, she had other emotional dilemmas she needed to workout on at the time. Now however, I will answer her more publically on why I wouldn’t treat my mate like a princess if I feel she has potential to be my long term lover and partner.
[“Perfect Silence (Martin Roth St. Kilda 5pm Rmx)” by Blank & Jones]
You see with the exception of Cindy, and with what I mentioned to Stina about being conservative and traditional, when it comes to being in an intimate relationship, certain aspects of me are quite restrictive. This came from years of feeling abandoned and exile. It’s like an automatic mental fortress of sorts. My time spent with Cindy got way out of whack. I have never broken up with someone more than once and gotten back together over and over again before. That experience placed my mentality very offbeat. It’s like trying to play the drums in sync but then it gets all fucked up.
Yes, like I said, I may be super massively sexual and I may joke around and talk about rather disgusting things with some of my friends, but overall, you wouldn’t necessarily see me like that. Sometimes, I feel like two different people – sometimes three…
So back to the answer. If I were to gain a sexual pervert full of fun and energy, sure, I don’t mind spending time and money and shit on her. Cuz the short term experience would be nice and explosive. It’s a one in a ‘lifetime’ experience. It’s like a bomb or sky diving. Once you land, the experience is all over. Might as well make the best of it. What a thrill!
However on the other hand, say I received a companion who wanted a steady future with me, wouldn’t the most prudent automatic test be that she isn’t just out there because of my money and my assets? Another thing is, though I may not show it, and though I rebel against it and very indirectly deny myself that factor, I adore love. Love to me is very sacred. How much more mushy can I get?!?!
I believe I have only given my all once in my entire life to one person many years ago, but even then, I was still young and immature. Today, if I were to build the present and grow together towards the future, having treat her as if she is a princess would be more in the ideals of treating her like my partner – someone I can rely on if need be. Someone whom I can talk to and she will listen. Someone whom I can lean on when things get tough. Someone whom doesn’t see the power I yield, nor the money I make resulting from the corporate influence I have, nor the ambitions I have to designate a goal so far fetched – someone who has dug deep into my soul and through all the fields of thorn, poisons, and oceans of razorblades has taken hold of that tiny beating heart and can comprehend and see me for what I am, rather than what I can do.
That’s a first. HAHAHAHA… I laugh because it’s not often, nor has it ever happened before that anything that poetic ever gets published for the public.
There is a perfect woman in my mind, but she doesn’t exist and I don’t ever need to be in love. There are many factors which I will never say here in my online blogs.
I wonder if my above comments answered her question though. I guess directly put, if I were to have a partner for life, however I treat her would be equivalent to my consort and empress – someone whom would help me rule my kingdom. Where as for a short term girlfriend or a fling, she would be equivalent to the foreign princess who just wants to have a bit of fun before leaving for home again. In short really… [wink]