Now with my ego aside and a lot less blunt, there are a lot of things that I can look forward to. I just wish that I wasn’t a part of it.
This is my ideal ‘fantasy’…
To appear in a random era with vague memories of a good family. To wander through life, places and time being an observer. To give subtle influences in the lives of those that come in contact with mine. I would like to be involved with people who have issues of their own that don’t have the energy to think beyond that. That makes my life much more easier. Only when they come to a disclosure and/or a conclusion for their own issues, that they might have a quick passing thought about me. Other than that, it would be time to move on.
Some idealists may argue that no human being want to live like that, but really, how to gauge ‘being human’? It’s like picking up a book and saying that all books are just books. That may be true if all the stories were simply ‘just stories’.
Right now, I want to go out for a drive but I’m drinking a can of Kokanee and don’t want the possibility of being caught or getting into an accident. To clear some of my trailing thoughts with some nice music would be nice right about now. I am listening to a nice beat but I’m sitting here ‘idle’ typing this up.
[sits here and listens to this song for a few minutes]
For a split moment, I picked up my cell phone and was about to look through a list of people I might be able to call and talk to. That split moment also made think of what I would say to that person when s/he answers it, “Hey, if you have some time, I want someone to talk to.”
Alas, I find that I do that every now and then but when my logic catches up with that raw emotion, I put my phone back down. The only ‘sounding board’ that ‘works’ for me are my blogs.
No I’m done.