Stalemate

Stalemate

I was never good at chess, though I would like to think I know more than just the mechanics. I played games against others where I was not aggressive enough against a sub-par opponent and ended up either losing too many pieces or getting into a stalemate. The game of chess seems to be a game of wits and pathways and despite what some of my friends believe, I seem to lack the complete wavelength of wit and path seeking. Like many things in my life, I have some of them, but not all of them.

It’s 4:00am, Wednesday May 29th, 2013 and I did something earlier that I haven’t done for about seven years. I laid in bed, in the dark with my ear buds in, watching various videos on YouTube. Mind you, I used a smart phone this time around. About seven years ago, I used an MP3 player. However, I didn’t just watch videos, I listened to music. Music that made my heart equalize and my mind calmer.

I laid on my bed just relaxing. I did it for about two hours. I had hoped that for retiring to bed just before midnight, I could get some sleep in, hopefully a full morning of sleep, but I knew I was fantasizing.

A necessity to detach myself from the society of the internet, the exposure that made me felt vulnerable even amongst friends because I knew that not even my friends knew things and even if they did, at least I believed they didn’t or knew little. It was a bit like the Big Bang, then a giant black hole. This is probably a bad analogy.

Anyway, I meditated my feelings into focus and found myself feeling a bit sorry for myself. So in my next entry will be placed in the Partially Fiction category. When you read it, you will know why.

And on that bombshell, I have a huge craving for a McChicken burger.

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