The Five Odes

9:13pm

Wait! [runs off to the shower with a peeled orange]

(32 minutes later…)

Pat should be glad there weren’t any pictures of me half naked in a drunken stupor, eating a banana. [wink]

I dedicate this entry to five things:

1) my Sonic 02 hardtail
2) the uneaten, unpeeled banana lying beside my keyboard
3) Michelle for a shipwide mutiny
4) the 8.5 hour MSN conversation I had with Jon the other day
5) Ichigo Mashimaro

1. My Sonic 02 Hardtail

I got her back in mid 2003 at SportChek along with Pat’s Kona from Dizzy’s. Our first ride was the day after at Bowen Island. I remember he came by, loaded up my bike, then headed off to Horseshoe Bay where we ate brunch (I think, or was that during?), then biked around to pass time while waited for the ferry to arrive.

I remember seeing a cute older Japanese girl dragging her luggage to the gate, and one part of me wanted to help her and be a gentleman about it, possibly get her number in the process, but another part of me didn’t want to help her cuz of two things: A) I was shy, and B) I was shy.

Why didn’t Pat help her?!?!?!

Right. So as she disappeared, we rode around a bit more and finally took our bikes on the ferry. I think we spent about 5 hours there. It was fun. As we waited to get back, Pat wanted to do something daring and so we rode back and forth on some dirt lump in the nearby forest. That’s when I didn’t ride up fast enough and fell side ways, in which my bike landed on top of me, digging its pedals deeply into my Achilles tendon. As I was bleeding loads, but oddly not screaming in pain, Pat couldn’t help but laugh at the way my arms and legs were stretched upwards towards the sky – maybe like an overturned cow?

[sighs]

Since then, I’ve taken her to Alice Lake twice – once with Albert and Jenny, and the next one only with Pat. We went in the morning through the afternoon, right before Carlo and Donna’s wedding celebration dinner. What a rush. Emma was gorgeous that night. That second ride was nice though. We got so lost, and ended up riding up the highway to the parking lot.

I’ve taken her to Seymore Mountain’s Bridal Path, which was totally out of our league. Mind you, we did manage to ride, carry, throw, tumble, and crash through some of it until we reached a beautiful golf course. I’ve taken her numerous times through Pacific Spirit, to Iona Beach and back, to Vancouver and back, to Stanley Park and back, around Richmond a few hundred times.

All in all, with the road distances as my point of measurement, my educated guess would be that I’ve ridden over 4000 kilometres since mid 2003 with Sonic 02, or a total of about 4300 kilometres since early 2002 – plus or minus a hundred kilometres.

That’s not a lot mind you. Road going bikers ride about 50 to 100 kilometres per day. I’m still a newbie. NEWBIE!

I thought about ‘replacing’ Sonic 02 and giving it to my bro since he’s looking for one, but she’s durable, though a bit heavier, and there is history you know?

If I manage to get my TT bike, geez, I’ll have to hang it on the wall in the garage.

2. The Uneaten, Unpeeled Banana Lying Beside My Keyboard

It’s now half eaten btw. Actually, it’s partially melted due to today’s 18 degree celcius weather coupled with the intense heat my computer fans and external hard drive fan is releasing.

Bananas are wholesome.

3. Michelle for a shipwide mutiny

I don’t believe in the Noah’s Ark. If something like that supposedly existed 6000 years ago, then something like the Titanic shouldn’t even have sunk. It should have been able to plow right through that damn iceberg, unless of course, Noah’s Ark was made from SPECIAL ‘wood’. [wink] Get it? [laughs]

For those lurkers and surviving visitors of Her Majesty’s Canadian Ship, the Leemanism, be glad that this site is still here today due to Michelle’s stern (get it? “stern” – yeah, i’m lame) and very direct words “Li, don’t close your main site. You just feel vulnerable because I am powerful woman!”

She’s right. She is a powerful woman, but not nearly as powerful as Jon’s Gas Powered Fleet! OH NOES!

4. The 8.5 hour MSN conversation I had with Jon the other day

Dai ju bu?

It was more like 8.25 hours, but close enough. Here’s a random excerpt from our conversation:

變態 Leemanism.com says (3:11 PM):
dress her up as a kitten, and ever time you thrust into her, she yelps “meow”, HAHAHA

Jonathan says (3:12 PM):
and make her frantically stir oil and water? and chased around by a remote control truck?

變態 Leemanism.com says (3:12 PM):
hahahaha that made me burst congee!

But look! There’s more!!!

變態 Leemanism.com says (3:46 PM):
no… i was tempted to, i was. but, nah…. though tempting

Jonathan says (3:46 PM):
hahaha, i figured you’d play at least a small little trick

變態 Leemanism.com says (3:47 PM):
how about u play a small trick? i give you licensing rights to the Leeman name to do a trick for a day. it normally would have cost you 25% of your soul and 50% of your semen, but i feel generous today

Jonathan says (3:49 PM):
hahaha….no, I’ve done enough damage

變態 Leemanism.com says (3:49 PM):
you have done nothing!

You like it? 8]

Jonathan says (3:57 PM):
it would have been cool if you filmed a porno during our grad ceremony, grad dinner/dance i mean

變態 Leemanism.com says (3:58 PM):
wow, that’s a good suggestion, how about for your bachelor’s party, we can film one. I vote to be director and camera man, while you be the star of the show, and you can choose a few of your other friends to help you do double penetration with the girls, even triple and quadriple penetration. i’ll bring tape so u can tape your balls to your ass

Jonathan says (4:00 PM):
HAHAHA – good….we couldn’t do the porno unless we taped my balls to my ass

變態 Leemanism.com says (4:00 PM):
HAHAHAHA – well, unless you want your balls to rub up against your friends’ balls during a shoot?

Isn’t it hot?

變態 Leemanism.com says (4:38 PM):
then again he never deleted his starcraft. he STILL plays on Battlenet! didn you know that?

Jonathan says (4:38 PM):
OMG

變態 Leemanism.com says (4:38 PM):
mhm

Jonathan says (4:39 PM):
sleeman…..hehehehe

變態 Leemanism.com says (4:39 PM):
BE QUIET! she made that joke last night!

Jonathan says (4:39 PM):
hahaha

變態 Leemanism.com says (4:39 PM):
[sighs]

Jonathan says (4:40 PM):
i still have starcraft installed

變態 Leemanism.com says (4:40 PM):
come on get a betterc omputer so we can play some hardcore games!

Jonathan says (4:40 PM):
i want to play some of the new FPS games….they looks so sweet

變態 Leemanism.com says (4:40 PM):
i still have FEAR and Half Life 2 in my Backup drive, they are taking up a total of 9 gigs install files!

Jonathan says (4:40 PM):
SBJ

變態 Leemanism.com says (4:40 PM):
hahahaha

Okay, last excerpt!

變態 Leemanism.com says (7:55 PM):
i am sexual mighty cow prodder! oops or rain seeker. anyway, so there

Jonathan says (7:56 PM):
meh

變態 Leemanism.com says (7:56 PM):
meh your face!

Jonathan says (7:56 PM):
meow my face

變態 Leemanism.com says (7:56 PM):
i can see a horny cat rape your face, i can

Jonathan says (7:57 PM):
i’m allergic to cats silly

變態 Leemanism.com says (7:57 PM):
really? same as laura, wow. match made in sexual heaven?

Jonathan says (7:57 PM):
yeah, me no like pussy

變態 Leemanism.com says (7:57 PM):
HAHAHA, hey, leon used to watch men fuck dogs butts – is that the same with u?

Jonathan says (7:58 PM):
i could have sworn leon was a normal, non-perverted guy

變態 Leemanism.com says (7:58 PM):
he made me think of sex during art class, he even showed me how a hand job should be done, during clay pottery, he made a penis

Okay okay, last one, for sure!

變態 Leemanism.com says (8:20 PM):
i like your mom (She’s single) – haha, [ahem]

Jonathan says (8:20 PM):
I kill you

變態 Leemanism.com says (8:20 PM):
anyway……

Jonathan says (8:21 PM):
Li, when i pass, I want you to have all my boxers. I won’t wash them at all

變態 Leemanism.com says (8:21 PM):
wow

Jonathan says (8:21 PM):
so they’ll contain all of my glory – uncensored

變態 Leemanism.com says (8:21 PM):
i would be so honored! i have all of your unwashed undergarments! especially the ones so close to your anus! soiled and fermented! WOOOWEEE!

Jonathan says (8:22 PM):
I would give you my dirty socks too but I want to spread the wealth

變態 Leemanism.com says (8:22 PM):
HAHAHHAHA

Jonathan says (8:22 PM):
people might get jealous and angry at you

變態 Leemanism.com says (8:22 PM):
HAHAHAHAHA

5. Ichigo Mashimaro

This is simply the CUTEST and one of the funniest family anime comedies ever! Ichigo Mashimaro and Azumanga Daioh go on my Top 10 best anime’s ever! 83

They are good inspiration. Makes me wish I wasn’t so like this and more like that…

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^^ Matsuri being taken advantage of again…

snapshot20070524223947.jpg

^^ And again…

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^^ Miu being naughty! I can tell she may grow up to be an ever naughtier girl…

snapshot20070524224141.jpg

^^ Miu as Panda Thief Ninja!

snapshot20070524224330.jpg

^^ Their ‘tiger’… 83

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^^ Teehehe…

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^^ Ana sticking her tongue out after eating some Candy Apple.

[bows]

10:48pm

4 thoughts on “The Five Odes

  1. Charlotte

    oh that cartoon looks so cute! also what were you a jon talking about exactly that lasted for song long? it looked like random topics

  2. Li

    well, it always start out with one or two topics, then it becomes randomized, BUT that randomization does relate to the original topics one way or another, and then eventually, it all comes back together again. Near the end of most of our conversations, the topic almost always go back to the original topic(s). It’s fun. 8)

    If only we had an audience…

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