Why can’t some people accept that I don’t want to be around gay men?

Why can’t some people accept that I don’t want to be around gay men?

This question was asked on Quora and garnered 25 responses at the time I read it. While others already had great answers, I thought I could also chime in.

In one of your comments to Andrew Weil’s answer, you mentioned that you did no insulting, yet other people get uppity when you’re absent from such events (your girlfriend goes to?). You asked why people simply don’t understand that you just don’t want to be around gay men.

Well, your thought process is on the same wave length as someone who is not comfortable sitting next to a black man, a Chinese man, a woman with dreadlocks, etc. So why is this an issue with some people? Because it’s prejudice, it’s stereotyping and in my example above, it’s racism. It reminds me of this video:

Replace “negro” with “gay man”. ;)

Thoughtful people can’t accept people who have an irrational thought process. You mentioned in your comment you do not fear them. You just feel uncomfortable about them.

So here’s a semi-rhetorical question: how can you tell who is gay and who isn’t? Besides the obvious gay couple, how can you tell if that burly rough looking guy sitting next to you with a huge beard is or is not gay? How can you tell that skinny dude with the skateboard is or is not gay? Is it because you were taught that gay people act a certain way? That they all talk with a lisp? That they’re all flamboyantly dressed? Yeah, mostly in movies, but reality? Not so much. ;)

Here’s the thing, if you came to Quora trying to genuinely seek an understanding why some people can’t accept your irrational thought process, you’re not going to find an answer that affirms how you think and feel. Well actually you might, if someone else shares your thought process as well. If you came to Quora seeking to find an answer on what you could do instead, there are two particulars that I can think of specific to you.

  1. If you see nothing wrong with your thought process, then you need not worry about what others think about you. If I did not like particular events, I will simply not attend them and I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass what other people think of me. Of course, that’s just me.
  2. Do some heavy reflecting. Possibly in time, you could find out what’s causing you this discomfort and ‘fix’ it.

As a bonus to yourself, perhaps you could even consider being in a relationship with a person that shares your views on homosexuality. Thus avoiding such events and people all together. I am assuming you’re attending these events because of your girlfriend.

The guy who posted the question up had since deleted his question. ^_^

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