Early this morning, I read through Quora because I couldn’t sleep yet again and happened upon an answer by Naomi Green, a woman I follow on the site. The question was: “What is something completely normal and socially acceptable, that you just can’t stand?”
Her answer was what I expected. A true reflection of western society, filtered through personal experience and answered as an opinion. This stance is true for most answers on Quora. The few that aren’t are just people repeating the same stuff other people have said, which themselves haven’t experienced.
After upvoting her answer, I proceeded to read the other answers in that Q&A. Unfortunately, I read the following by Gary Rocco.
Gary Rocco, worked at Hyundai Merchant Marine
Answered Aug 23
Quaker Valley and other school districts’ parents who have voted to allow their daughters to wear skirts so short that their asses hang out and tops that permit full view of their breasts, in spite of the fact that Normal boys are getting erections in around the school which they can not control.
This has to be a new low for the #metoo movement, to tell the boys that they must not look at the girls, or be tempted to grope them, or touch them. This can not end well.
I think I can’t stand it so much, that I am moved to take a bat at the heads of those normal parents and beat some common sense into them.
America you are failing your children dismally.
Basically, he believes that those girls that wear less are at fault for tempting boys to sexually assault them. That’s a very convenient and very immoral response to the problem. So I gave him a calm, but exacting comment.
Leeman Cheng (鄭禮民)
I am just seeking clarification in your answer about girls that wear ‘little’ around boys that can’t control themselves. Your belief is that because girls are wearing so little, it is their fault for being groped and sexually assaulted?
Would you feel the same if a group of men have a huge fetish for women who dress up as nuns, then proceed to sexually assault real nuns, would you tell nuns to stay indoors from then on as well?
How about girls who cover themselves up, but their huge boobs are still very noticeable? What about girls that wear regular length gym shorts for PE? What about girls who are particularly very pretty? What then? Is it still their fault for being that way?
You see where I am going with this? Unprincipled, immoral boys and men have been sexually assaulting women since the dawn of time, regardless of what they wear and how much they cover themselves up. While it might be more true, that women who wear less, arouse men easier, it still doesn’t give men the right to sexually assault them. Your daughter could be wearing long loose pants and five layers of jackets to cover herself, but if some guy thinks she’s hot and can’t control himself, he’ll do whatever he can to assault her.
I personally think “not looking” is stupid. People should be able to look, but not touching, groping and raping are obvious. It’s like me being angry at another driver. Do I vent it off afterwards or do I crash into him and take my gun out to shoot his face off? The obvious thing is to park on the side of the road to cool off. So in the scenario of the girls wearing whatever and horny boys, that really comes down to upbringing. My dad definitely would have slapped my brother and I to boot camp if we did something like that.
Perhaps to stop America from ‘failing’, children should be taught early on in their lives about proper sex education, treating each other with mutual respect and to learn about personal responsibility. The rot starts at home at its roots. Blaming others for the decisions we make and not taking responsibility for it, is a reflection of what is being taught at home.
The problem with his thought process, those boys and men will sexually assault girls and women for any and every excuse. It could very well be that the girl is dressed very traditionally and modestly, but she has huge breasts that stick out. It could very well be that a girl wears knee-length shorts and long sleeve tops, but has a very nice figure. It could very well be that the girl wears a head scarf and has very beautiful eyes, as well as pretty pouty lips. Boys and men will find something arousing and it usually isn’t even about cleavage. It’s the fact they are women and that they have body parts that arouse their imaginations.
I was horn dog during high school, in my 20’s and in my 30’s and it’s still going strong. You don’t see me going around groping and raping women. I look of course, but that’s it. How can such a horny bastard like myself keep my hands to myself? Easy, because I was taught at an early age about consent and mutual respect. This was reinforced throughout my entire childhood and perpetuated into my adult life.
It’s very simple really. Until she tells me that I can touch her, she’s off limits to me and everyone else that hasn’t been given consent. If boys can’t control themselves, that’s a product of their family life. When I was a kid, before smartphones and the internet, my parents got us a computer, a pair of bikes and hockey sticks. When we were horny, we masturbated in the bathroom or in our bedrooms. We were taught to respect each other, as how we would like to be treated and respected. We spent a good portion of our childhood leading into our teenage years doing all sorts of things on the computer, riding our bikes and playing floor hockey with our friends. My dad even taught us to be gentlemen and my mom taught us to appreciate gestures and respect boundaries.
So it’s quite amazing when people like Gary Rocco could say such an evil thing, blaming victims for sexual assault. It’s mentalities like his, that is failing America. Instead of victim blaming, as a father, he should educate his children to take personal responsibility, to help perpetuate a balance between giving and receiving, to educate each other about sex ed, and just as importantly, to treat each other with mutual respect and to understand consent. Being horny is not an excuse to rape, just as being angry is not an excuse to murder.