I find myself catching the calendar dates every now and then. I think to myself: “Two weeks ago today, I left Germany and have arrived back home already. I would be sleeping at around this time.” Last weekend, I also thought: “Two weeks ago, Amber and I got married. One week ago, I left Germany. Three weeks ago, I was on a plane to Frankfurt.” I tend to do that a lot on things memorable and meaningful to me.
Whenever I am left alone downstairs in the kitchen where the calendar is, I would look back on the dates then realize it is still September. It is still the month I got married. It is still the month I was with Amber. It was only over two weeks ago that I was there. It was three weeks ago that I was there and there was still about a week left. I can’t help thinking that. I did that last year when I went to Germany in April 2012. Back then, when I went into her apartment for the first time, I even remarked to her: “I’m here!”
Now that I am back in Canada, I feel like a large part of my life is missing or rather, displaced. I wish I can have both places. I wish I can freely travel between the two places, but honestly, I wish I didn’t have to do layovers and train rides. I wish it was like Hong Kong: direct flight, then a train ride and a small walk. To Amber, it takes a flight to one of the other major Canadian cities, a layover flight to Frankfurt, then another layover flight to Hamburg, then a 1.25h train ride to Kiel. Otherwise, it would be a flight to a Canadian city, a layover to Frankfurt, then a 5hr train ride to Kiel. On top of that, domestic flight change to international flight means I have to go to the domestic gate in Vancouver, then switch over to the international gate in Toronto, then switch back to domestic in Frankfurt if I choose to fly to Hamburg. For Amber to fly here, she has a few better choices. She can go to Hamburg, layover flight to Frankfurt, then fly to Calgary, change over to domestic and then layover fly to Vancouver. Minus Hamburg, that was what I did in 2012 when I went to Germany and back to Canada.
Whenever I go on VSee or Skype with Amber, I try to catch a glimpse of her apartment and try to find something I have touched like her couch/bed, her coffee table, the top of the television, the lamp, etc. So I can get a visual reminder of when I was there. Eg: the top of the television was where I placed the camera battery charger. It fell off a couple of times and I had to pick it up and put it back on top. I felt it was a bit dusty. I remember her wall was rugged and white. Stuff like that. Unfortunately, these days, her apartment is always dark.
Anyway, for some reason, I feel really tired even though it’s only 9:35pm right now. Amber will be going to a family BBQ in Preetz Sunday morning. I hope to see some photos of her family event. ♥
Featured image by: Patrick Leung (http://www.patrickleung.ca)