On Your Shore

4:43am

It’s cold again, with predictions of snow tonight and tomorrow night. [sigh]

[“Voices” (Japanese Version) by Yoko Kanno]

This song has a very deep sentimental value to me. The first time I heard it was back in the winter of 1995 when Jon, Tom, Roger, Jacek, and I went to watch Macross Plus for the Japanimation Festival at Simon Fraser University. Since then, Macross Plus has been my all-time favorite anime. I think only Albert really knows why I have taken such a deep connection with this song.

Anyway, instead of having a song initiate an entry, emails initiated the song and then this entry. I was going through some old emails from 2000 to 2002 between Albert, Jon, Ben, Ling, June, Mark and a few others and I. I know this applies to many people and I am simply reiterating everyone’s feelings, but I find it sad that things can be so good and then become so distant later. I know it looks obvious, but what I am getting at here is that when I look through the emails between June and I, even after she left for Hong Kong, our emails to each other were plenty. We emailed each other almost every day, sometimes multiple times per day, on top of the phone calls and postal letters. Then the months come and go and we slowly drift apart.

It’s been five and a half years since I’ve seen June, and about three and a half years since I last talked to her on the phone. Her last email to me was back in April this year. I found her picture from her company’s web site. She didn’t change much. She should be 30 on December 31st.

[“Pulse” by Yoko Kanno]

This song also holds a lot of meaning for me. In fact most of the songs on the Macross Plus OST’s relate to each other in meaning.

You know what’s been bugging me? That I can’t have a second chance. For the last few months, on and off, I had been thinking that I know that people change and their desires in life change accordingly. However, I think aside from karma, maybe I ‘deserve’ a second chance on a few things other than financial security and achieving my goals.

So what makes me think I deserve that second chance? Honestly, I don’t know. Aside from being more knowledgeable, more compassionate, more considerate, and more tactful, I can’t see how I do deserve a second chance. Self pity? Hardly. Just reflecting.

I lost my train of thought.

[ponders on air]

Air is good. It keeps people alive.

[ponders blankley]

Blankley… Is that how you spell blankley? I guess it’s spelled blankley if I spell it blankley. Otherwise, it would be blankly which is like frankly.

[ponders]

BTW Spongey, if you can, you should place your desk against the opposite wall, and move the dresser drawer to where the desk is now, and then move your bed so it’s against the other wall, so your head is the other way around. Don’t ask me why, because it will take way too long to explain. Of course I know your dresser drawer is heavy, so I guess you don’t have to move it if it’s too much of a hassle.

Well, that concludes my lack of a completed entry. [sigh] I guess it’s back to the monkey. 8/ I guess what I really wanted to share are the two songs. Enjoy… 8]

5:13am