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Sake, served cold…

…tastes better than when served hot. Though some people may disagree.

For the last few days, I’ve been especially down and I think the whole thing with Pete three days ago really sparked the active down-ness. After I read his 2nd post in the forums and after everyone including myself defended ourselves and made it seem like we were ganging up on him, I felt extremely depressed. I knew he was a sensitive guy since from years ago and after that, I knew he was going to take it pretty hard. Then it happened. He left us all.

As the GM of a guild, I do not consider myself the “Big Boss”. I just consider myself as part of the management team. In Pete’s last essay post in our Secret Treehouse, he remarked that he felt amongst other things that as a guild, we shouldn’t keep secrets from each other, that we shouldn’t have a secret meeting place to talk behind other people’s backs. I disagreed with him greatly. However, instead of reiterating our entire conversation here, I will just say that when a guild gets big enough, officers need a place to discuss how to direct the guild and how to handle certain people – ALL THE WHILE keeping in mind their personalities, the stability of the guild and the overall representation of our name.

In short: some people have short tempers, others are very patient and tolerant. Some people are very sensitive and sweet, while others may be blunt and apathetic. Some people might need to be talked a certain way to be considerate towards their personalities and way of thought. Some others might desire straight-up, no BS sort of direct answers.

I support the “Knights of the Round Table” sort of management, but as such, those that follow us and are what could be considered our ‘brethren’, ‘should’ also give their trust to us. So far in the last 1.5 years, have we once steered the guild in a way in which to compromise our fun and friendship? Have we once mete out punishment unfairly? Have we once refuse to hear the suggestions and feelings of our guild members? Never. We have always listened and reacted accordingly. When an officer suggested an action for punishment, I always looked at it with a more caring eye and always suggested “another chance”.

There is one thing Pete could not take into consideration and that was as management, as officers, we have to think objectively. We have to think with an open BUT considerate mind. We cannot just act on the notion of impulse. Sure, someone like Mel might be able to handle our opinions and suggestions, but can Pete guarantee that the other roughly 40 guild members we have can also handle it? Has he never thought that some people does not react the same way as Mel? Mel over a year ago, had destructive tendencies and she even said herself that sometimes she needed to be reminded that she ‘shouldn’t’ go off on people like that. As officers, sometimes we vent, sometimes we blow off some heat, but we do that IN CONSIDERATION of those we are venting about. After we do that, it’s gone. It’s water under the bridge. It’s where the officers, the managers blow off some steam where we normally couldn’t or shouldn’t.

Pete has his heart in the right place and in theory would have made a great Captain, but in practice, he was too emotionally charged. That is fine and I think that’s fantastic as a friend, but as an officer, one must look at things much farther into the horizon and beyond that.

I could not post this at the forums because I didn’t want to re-stir this topic up again when people there are doing their best to ‘heal’ from this loss. Yes, it IS a loss because we lost a great partner and friend and of course, a great tank ^_~.

I am sorry that we sounded so harsh and felt as though we were ganging up on him and I think my emotions of injustice took over, as well as my ‘professional’ stance on how management should be like. However, ultimately, this was just a matter of personal opinion and our differences on that. In fact, I was going to ask Mel to ask him to come back ‘home’ in a few days after things cool down. Alas, he is gone to sort out his own life, something he wanted to do awhile ago anyway. His Captain’s seat is still opened, when one day, if he decides to come back. He will be missed and I hope he knows that.

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There is no left wing or right wing specific ideals here. It is as life should be regardless of society's squabbles and disagreements. I never said I strive to be a good person, nor did I ever say I will deliberately do people harm. I only said that I will do what needs to be done to survive in the world. The end doesn't always justify the means and the means don't always justify the end.

People from all shades of the political and social spectrum will find my content offensive. So my blog isn't for most people. It's for people closer to my spectrum of recognition and understanding. If you are an easily triggered reactionary conservative snowflake, then kindly fuck off. If you are an obnoxiously phoney liberal that consider yourself progressive but actually limit yourself to the matchbox-sized confinements of your isms, then go choke on your own crying snot juice elsewhere. You have been warned.

For the rest of you, welcome to my immodest abode. It's not smart, nor intelligent, nor wise. It's just life.