Alt Lifestyle

The Mythical Poly Narwhal

My wife and I decided last year to open up our marriage. After a few months of conversation and brainstorming, we created a set of core rules both of us abide by, as well as custom rules each of us have for the other spouse. You can read more about that here.

As many in the poly community may already know, there exist Poly Unicorn, but they are extremely rare. Basically, it’s a person who is in an intimate and/or sexual relationship with an existing couple. In that relationship triad, the existing couple is considered the primary relationship, and the Poly Unicorn is considered to be in a secondary relationship with them. Usually, those involved in the primary relationship would make all or most of the relationship rules, and the Poly Unicorn would have little or no say in them. Of course, it’s still considered ethical, if the Poly Unicorn acknowledges and agrees to those relationship rules, as well as accept their role in that relationship. It’s only unethical, if that Poly Unicorn is somehow coerced into that relationship, and treated poorly.

Now, I desire that concept for a Poly Unicorn triad. However, while the idea of a Poly Unicorn being used as my sex slave fancies my high sex drive, ultimately, I prefer someone who is more dynamically connected to us, than just someone to be used. Thus, the Poly Narwhal. ^_^ The following are what I consider to be something along the lines of what I ultimately desire in a Poly Narwhal triad.

  1. The Basics: The individual is a woman who is into both Amber and I, but she would have a primary relationship with Amber either as intimate friends, or friends with sexual communication. They will set their own rules that must fall under our core relationship rules. The individual will not be associated with me directly, but initially potentially as an acquaintance or a friend.
  2. Sexual/Intimate Triad: Only when both the individual and Amber decide they wish to open their relationship up towards me, I would engage the individual sexually and/or intimately.

Now, I want to emphasize that the above is just concept. It is not set in stone. In fact, my wife could very well just meet another woman who will primarily be platonic with Amber, but through conversation and consent, permit that other woman to have an intimate, sexual, and casual romance with me. It’s also possible that Amber would be involved in that more like a sister to her, than a lover. Basically, it’s whatever the dynamics of our relationship entails.

This sort of relationship idea, is perfect for a woman who doesn’t want to have a fully committed romantic relationship, but still desire intimacy and more exclusivity. She would not necessarily be free to engage other people outside our triad, but ultimately, this is a rule that my wife and the Narwhal will set.

Mind you, I don’t know how we can find this Poly Narwhal. Neither Amber and I want to be involved with any poly groups. Also, I am primarily introverted, while Amber has to deal with PTSD, anxiety, and depression, even though she is certainly more ambivert or extroverted. I’ve been the one to introduce Amber to most of her new friends. Alas, I am still glad that Amber and I want this. So this is putting it ‘out there’. Perhaps someone, who is either looking for something like this, or someone who never even considered it, but intrigues her, will read this and get in touch? Finding this Narwhal is probably just as difficult as matching all 7 numbers of the LottoMax, but we can still try. ♥

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Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)