[“Looking For The Sun” – Strange Flower]
I wanted to name this entry “Cindy Dick” but people might mistake that as something else. Plus, it’s a stupid name for an entry. I had another dream about Cindy. Although I had said before I won’t enter dreams here about her, for this one, I will.
It started out as some sort of wilderness hike where the icecaps melted and a flood came down into the valley. I wasn’t actually there. I was a ‘camera observer’. There were two caucasians – a wife and husband who were hiking the valley when the got swept up. Somehow, they ended up wearing lifejackets and were on an inflatable boat going down the rapids (rushing river). It was crazy scary.
Somehow, Edmund Wong, Edmond Cheng, and Cindy got onboard the boat as well. The boat got washed somewhere and now I turned from a camera observer to an actual participant – I was on the boat with them. Something happened and suddenly a huge whale swallowed us whole! The caucasian couple disappeared and my parents briefly appeared where they were, but they disappeared later as well.
We slowly entered the digestive tract of the whale, and we finally slowed down as our boat was being pushed into massive pile of other stuff like bones, dirt, other stuff, etc. We were all covered with stuff and couldn’t move. Right after we stopped, I looked around frantically, trying to get out but to no avail. I kept yelling “Edmond?!”, “Ed?!” – I was so worried that they separated from me, and worst, went down further! After I found them just a couple of feet away, unburying themselves, I then turn my attention to Cindy and yelled, “Cindy?! Cindy! Where are you?!” I felt a tug with my left arm/hand, and turned my head and I was surprised. She was like, “Okay! Don’t worry, I’m here! I’m right here.” I didn’t even notice she was holding onto my hand the entire time. She said, “I’ve been here the entire time. You were grabbing my hand pretty tight.”
Somehow, I was forced out of the whale, and I ended up back at my Knightsbridge home. I was walking on Cambie eastward, then northward into the complex. I walked past some people, and went to the entrance of my house. There was a large transparent camera filled with clear pale-yellow liquid. The lantern on the wall above the mailbox was replaced with a holder of some sort. A while rose was in it. I went inside the house and started calling people to see if Edmond and Edmund and Cindy got out safely.
I knew my parents got out safely. So I was a little relieved with that. I then called my brother’s (Edmond) cell, and he didn’t pick up. I started to worry a lot. Eventually I got a hold of him and he was alright. I kept thinking about Ed and Cindy and everyone the whole time. Then I tried calling Ed and eventually he told me he got out of there as well. I asked him if Cindy was with him, and he almost snickered and said no. I was so worried now about Cindy. I asked him how did he get out and if it was possible that Cindy followed him out, and he said he had no clue.
I half-sat on my chair holding my phone. I tried calling her cell number – both of them, but it didn’t work. I called Ed again, asked if he was sure, etc, etc, but he wasn’t serious enough in his answers. After we hung up again, I thought that none of my friends and family cares about her. I ended up talking with someone, don’t know who. It might have been Ed or Albert. I said to ‘them’ that I will do whatever is necessary to find her, even try to find and enter that whale to go save her. ‘They’ weren’t supportive and ‘they’ even remarked, “What’s the point? She did all that to you, and you still want to rescue her?”
I remember looking at a map of how the shoreline’s currents moved. I thought, “All I had to do was take a fast boat out there with rescue equipment and tracking devices and just take the right current to find her.”
As I walked out of the house, I remember removing the white rose from the lantern cup and into the transparent camera, which turned into a transparent gasoline jug. Hmmm…?
[“Farewell” – Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon OST]
Unfortunately, my alarm went off and I woke up, and you know what’s painfully funny? In the transition between waking up to being awake, I thought that when my cell phone rang, it could possibly be Cindy calling to say she was safe. Unfortunately, it was just my cell phone alarm ringing to wake me.
Alas, even though it was only a dream, possibly reflecting my waking life, for the dream alone, I feel like I have abandoned her when I could have saved her – no matter how grim and how unlikely it was. Everyone – my parents, my brother, and Ed all got out safely, but Cindy was still probably left in there. I thought when I took a shower, “If I had held onto her hand tighter, maybe whatever force powered my dream would have took her with me to Knightsbridge. Maybe that’s what I needed to do was hold her closer, tighter, and don’t lose my cool, and concentrate on her?”
Well it was a dream, and I know the majority of my dreams are metaphoric representations of my reality. Anyone have any ideas?