Tune: “Traveler” by Rhian Sheehan
Drink: Blue Ice Beer
Has the view ever been better? Never. That’s because I’ve never had a view with a better view, nor a view that is equally as good. Which in clarity means the view is mediocre.
^^ View from my suite – Floor/Room: 9/35. Royal Park Hotel in Shatin. 4 Stars. Damn it to hell 10th floor rennovations until midnight, but compared to The Venetian in Macau, I prefer this place MUCH more. ^^
My feelings at the moment are more refinely perturbed than ever before. There has been many thoughts within thoughts within thoughts. A majority of my awareness wishes to share these thoughts here, but the ruling minority abruptly declares a simple “denied”.
When I go back to Richmond, I will enter a photo blog or two to document my travels. For now, these are the deeper thoughts I have, as well as a more refined look at the experiences thus far.
^^ View from my desk at the moment. ^^
Our flight took roughly 13 hours. It was not comfortable as usual. The only time flying was ever comfortable was when I flew business class from Vancouver to Hong Kong once a long time ago. It IS worth the extra $270 to $400 one way. Only reason I did not make the upgrade was 1) I didn’t want to be the only one flying in Business Class without the main group, and 2) though it was worth the price, I didn’t actually want to spend that money.
Oasis Airlines was/is good enough. Wish they fix the contrast/sharpness of their television screens though.
Unlike my 2006 trip, upon landing and stepping onto Hong Kong soil, this time around, the air wasn’t nearly as humid, and not nearly as suffocatingly hot. It was actually windy with a cool front. 18 degrees celsius. Throughout the day, that became 20 to 23.
Anyway, a lot of walking was and will be involved until our trip is over. Which I have to say is and will be killing my flat feet even further, like today. I tried eleviating the pain yesterday by taking a Tylenol 3. BIG MISTAKE. Don’t unless you REALLY HAVE TO. With the turbulent Turbo Jet ferry ride from Hong Kong to Macau yesterday, coupled with the pill, I was nearly losing my entire morning’s meal. Throughout the entire day, I felt my brain was turning into gel and gas, and seeping out of my ears, as my body thought it had the body of an octopus and is swimming on land…
What made the last 5 days even worst is the fact I have and is still having strep throat, and nasal drip, and now, a cough, due to the nasal dripping. I am also not eating enough sugar. Thus, well you know how that gets…… [cries]
However, I’m getting my beer intake. Yay me. [cheers weakly]
^^ View of my room. ^^
So I mentioned Macau. Yes, we went yesterday. The ferry ride took about 50 minutes on a Turbo Jet. I went there last year, and it was cool cuz I got to see St. Paul and a Portuguese Fortress with cannons, and some other places. This time around, with kids around and a lot of time wasted waiting and miscommunication, we didn’t go anywhere.
I’ll just mention this here: DO NOT BOOK A STAY AT THE VENETIAN IF YOU HAVE KIDS BELOW AGE 18. It’s an awesome look grand 5 star hotel, BUT the service SUCKS ASS, AND ONLY most of the female customer service reps are helpful. This was after asking over dozen customer service reps and security guards. The Venetian IS NOT CHILDREN friendly. DO NOT GO there to stay.
The big hype is the grandier and ‘prestige’ bullshit. Personally, I dress for comfort, ride in comfort, and drink and dine for the ambience. I don’t mind spendng a little extra for those things. The Venetian is NOT comfortable, over-priced (a given), and too massive for anyone who just wants to go chill. Sorry, it’s not a place for chilling.
Great view though…
^^ The view from my suite at 8am. Floor/Room: 30/78. I have more pictures later. ^^
Being the first person to wake up, I took a whole bunch of pictures. Then I sat on the couch and just watched the skyline. A lot of things passed through my mind. First, I thought about Cindy. Some passing thoughts like if our relationship had worked out, we would have been here (there) instead and stuff. Some other thoughts passed through too, but you can probably imagine some of them. In the past, I thought about travelling to Asia with her, since it was her first experience. The thing about me is that I wish I can be someone who can take my lover somewhere for the first time, or experience something with her for the first time.
Like my stay here in Hong Kong. I am living here by myself. There are three rooms. My brother is sharing one with my cousin Christina. Brandon, his mom, and my mom in one. My dad is back at his sister’s, and I am here alone. I like the solitude, but I also like some meaningful intimate company.
HOLY CRAP I AM SO BUZZED!
I am here and around, and I don’t have someone to share these experiences with. The thing is though, it was a given ever since and even since before I was intimately involved with Cindy. I wanted to be single and have casual relationships before. I wanted to concentrate on my career and freelancing, and just be free to move around on a whim, even with familial responsibilities. That’s why I look toward my friendships with great ease and connection. That is another reason why I can be so hard on it, because I am using my meaningful friendships to fill in the void of intimate companionship. I no longer have someone wonderful to sing to me, or hum a tune to me. I no longer have someone who just calls me up cuz she misses me or she ‘secretly’ wants to hear my voice (of all things, I think sound retarded). I no longer have someone who make origami rings and giggle to herself thinking about marriage with me.
In short, I no longer have those things because I want more for others.
On a bus ride from the Macau city hall to the Macau ferry port, some random images of accidents, deaths, loss came to mind for various faces as I see them come and go. After all that, I thought, “No one should ever have to feel that way.” I went as far as thinking that if I, as a human being, can live for a million years to suffer the consequences of eternal youth, to see people come and go, to see war and experience hunger, I think I would, so others don’t have to.
From my distance, I like to see my friends laugh and have a good time. I love to see my dad smile and observe others. I love to see my loved ones do their own thing – even my selfish brother who cares mostly about himself. I like this distance. It allows me to see them all.
There is no such thing as “sacrifice” when it comes to giving what you can, what your willpower can give for those who you love. Like my brother. I hate his selfishness and his uncaringness, but I think back on that one night he was about 5 or 6, crying from a nightmare he had, sitting on the couch as I cheered him up and made him laugh. He doesn’t remember that, I am sure, but I remember it.
The day I lose my memory, I might as well die.
A good long term memory can be a curse.
Tune: “Imagine” by John Lennon
[singing the song…]
Imagine all the people, living life in peace, yooohoo oooo oooo
You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
I hope someday, you’ll join us, and the world will be as one…
When I was about 13, I used to walk with my head down, but as I grew older, I tried to walk more confidently with my head held high. There are still bouts of worthlessness today, but it’s no longer a confidence issue mostly. It’s really just what others are to me.
Other people are foreigners – a blur to my vision, with a few random glances. A lot of people say I am a cool/distant person with a snobbish aura. I’ll tell you now bluntly, “I don’t care about you enough to be otherwise.”
I have a really neutral or ugly face when I don’t smile. Again, I will tell you that I don’t care about you enough to smile.
I remember once a few years ago, I was at UBC with Albert and some really cute Asian-ish girl walked passed us. I smiled at her and she smiled vibrantly back at me. I thought that was really nice. I did that a few times with other strangers – both men and women, and it was nice most of the time. However, I couldn’t keep that up. I didn’t find a reason, and even if it was reasonless, I didn’t feel like it.
I like laughing whole heartedly, where my mouth is wide open and/or my teeth are showing, but there aren’t very many reasons to do that. A lot of people who spend time with me don’t know why I laugh sometimes and when I do, sometimes, they feel as if I am laughing at them. So I stopped laughing most of the time, even when something is very funny. I laugh on the inside.
Sleepy, back pain, buzzed, coughing.