Feminism is supposed to be a good thing. Its definition at its core, is literally what the featured image I have posted is about. Unfortunately, feminism has been twisted and marred by the obnoxious few who twist it around to suit their own personal rhetoric, trying to gain attention for what they normally would not be getting enough of. Some of these so-called feminists twist science to suit their personal arguments. Some of them constantly contradict themselves fighting against inequality, but bash men as a whole. Many of them are hypocrites, stating one agenda, but discrediting others when they fight generalizations. These obnoxious few unfortunately, also get a lot of likes and followers, because many of their followers don’t see how absurd their arguments are in the first place. All they see, from their perspective, is a strong feminist who is trying to drown out the oppressive males who are trying to silence them. Calling them out for their hypocrisy and contradictions, is not trying to silence them. These people is what make feminism look bad. Centuries of women trying to grow their voices into one strong collective, are constantly being made into clowns by these obnoxious few. Yes, they have strong voices, but they’re directing it in the worst possible way. They’re just screaming and throwing random words used by the feminist movement. This is why many people look down on feminism, because you give the wrong idea what feminism is about.

As I scrolled through my Instagram feed, I noticed the following screen cap.

I double tapped it to give it a like and then saved it because I thought it was funny. Unfortunately, I also clicked the comments link because I am an idiot.

Most comments were pretty funny and pretty much hit the nail on the target. Lots of good old fashion humour and positive feminist commentary. Unfortunately, there was one comment that was aggressively asserting that “men are XYZ”, even though she acknowledged that she was talking about one man, but used “men” regardless.

hatebydesiign
somehow men always let themselves get offended and upset over things that they literally would never think about until they see it happen to someone else. i guarantee this man would never have thought about getting a free sandwich on a plane if the pregnant lady beside him didn’t get one. how do they see everything as competition and discrimination?
2d, 36 likes

youngdelonoutsold
@hatebydesiign stop 👏🏼 generalizing 👏🏼 a 👏🏼 gender 👏🏼 based 👏🏼 on 👏🏼 one 👏🏼 individual
10h, 1 like

hatebydesiign
@youngdelonoutsold stop 👏 taking 👏 everything 👏 so 👏 goddamn 👏 personally 👏 and 👏 you 👏 won’t 👏 be 👏 so 👏 upset 👏
10h, 1 like

youngdelonoutsold
@hatebydesiign not gonna do that if you’re generalizing lmao. That’s why we are seen as man-haters and get called “feminazi” by everyone.
10h, 2 likes

hatebydesiign
@youngdelonoutsold the fuck you saying “we” for? if YOU are so scared of calling out men’s bad behavior because you don’t want to be labeled a “man hater” or “feminazi” then that’s on you bro, you can keep quiet if you want. you’re not gonna tell me how to handle things. and honestly i don’t know how the fuck so many of y’all take everything as a generalization. i literally didn’t say that all men would be offended over not getting a goddamn free sandwich on a plane. my message was that men get offended if they’re not treated like they’re special when they wouldn’t have even thought of being treated better if it hadn’t happened to someone else. that’s not a goddamn generalization and im so fuckin sick of y’all throwing that word around for nothing. calling out one specific thing that a man did isn’t generalization, regardless of whether it was one man or a few men, they still need to be held accountable. and if you wanna see me as a “man hater” or “feminazi” for standing up for myself and other women, go for it. have a nice fuckin night bro.
9h, 2 likes

noodlytentacle
@hatebydesiign – You generalized men, “men” as in plural. You didn’t have to say “all men” to make a generalization. If you had said “some men”, then there is no argument because yes, some men are assholes and are ignorant fucks. @youngdelonoutsold didn’t say he was scared to call out the bad behaviour of men who have bad behaviour. Neither did he say he was going to keep quiet about it. The problem here is that in your quest to fight against inequality and in the process to get your message out there to help empower women, you’re also completely ignoring the way you’re expressing yourself. You angrily stated ‘it’s all on you bro’ responding to the person who responded to your original statement, but you failed to realize you’re doing the same thing as those men who have bad behaviours. I’m glad you’re trying to empower women. Awesome. However, why are you hammering down on (all) men? You don’t want other people to tell you how to handle things? Then stop generalizing. I call out bad behaviour when I see it. I give the same opportunities, regardless of gender. I don’t say ‘women are XYZ’ and neither do I say ‘men are XYZ’. Fix your delivery and perhaps more people will be more susceptible to your message.

Specifically, there was a lot of contradiction in what she said here, “i literally didn’t say that all men would be offended over not getting a goddamn free sandwich on a plane. my message was that men get offended if they’re not treated like they’re special when they wouldn’t have even thought of being treated better if it hadn’t happened to someone else. that’s not a goddamn generalization and im so fuckin sick of y’all throwing that word around for nothing. calling out one specific thing that a man did isn’t generalization, regardless of whether it was one man or a few men, they still need to be held accountable. and if you wanna see me as a “man hater” or “feminazi” for standing up for myself and other women, go for it.

Her whole comment there whacked itself over and over again. “I literally didn’t say all men would be offended“, but then literally said right afterwards, “my message was that men get offended“. Then proceeded to say, “that’s not a goddamn generalization”. Yes, it’s a generalization if you say “men” as in plural and “men” as in the collective gender. She also acknowledged that it was about one man being an asshole. So if she acknowledged it was about one man, then why did she say “men get offended”? Why didn’t she just say, “that asshole got offended for no goddamn reason” instead?

She’s right that men who behave badly should be called out for it. However, the delivery of her message is all over the place. It’s angry-fueled rhetoric that cancels itself out. Is she trying to empower women by fighting against inequality? If so, then she is doing a terrible job. The 36 likes on her original comment is reflective of people who don’t know what she’s screaming about, yet think it’s about feminism and people who think like her. To put it simply, it’s disheartening because this is why so many people look at feminism as bad, because people like HateByDesiign twist it into something it’s not. Feminism is about fighting inequality against women, empowering women and educating the population on the perception of women. Feminism is NOT about going against men and making vast generalizations against men, then contradict yourself by saying you’re only attacking one man. When did “man” = “men”? When did “Bob the Racist” = “Americans”? [sarcasm] Oh, but I didn’t say ALL Americans! I only said Americans! It’s about me attacking Bob the Racist! Stop taking it so personally! Americans are so racist! [/sarcasm]

If you want to call out a man for his bad behaviour. Then go for it. However, don’t suggest that men have bad behaviour. I am a man. I correct my bad behaviours if there are any. Just as my wife has bad behaviours she tries to correct. Neither of us belong to a hive mind collective. I don’t have bad behaviour because I am a man. Some of my behaviours may be bad because of my upbringing and views. This is not a byproduct of my gender. This is a byproduct of my life’s experiences and mental issues.

Update: HateByDesiign blocked me right after she responded to my comment and her own comment, as an offhand remark to my response.

hatebydesiign
@hatebydesiign interesting how the only people offended by my comment are men 💕💕💕

Talk about fighting inequality and censorship eh? Talk about NOT making generalizations eh? 😉 Also, in her angry-filled tirade, HateByDesiign failed to realize Youngdelonoutsold is actually a female. Just because someone uses the photo of a favourite actor as their profile avatar, doesn’t mean they are the actor. Just because I use the image of Purple Tentacle from Day of the Tentacle, doesn’t mean I am a tentacle… 🤨

Update: 2020/06/20…

Earlier this morning, I saw an argument between some people about how “Miss, Missus and Ms” is being used in an oppressive male-dominant society. My eyes rolled at that, because it’s not like society hasn’t evolved and redefined itself over the decades, right? Original meanings of whatever the word originally meant, obviously has evolved over the years. However, I wasn’t a part of that argument. What I was somewhat a part of, was the interpretation of an angry feminist against someone who actually had the tenacity to be calm and objective.

In response to the follow image on IG, the following comments ensued.

luisag056
Ms. isn’t for widows, it’s for when you don’t want to specify if you’re married or not…

_sara_tassadaq
@luisag056 Yes. And that’s why I always use Ms. Both in relation to myself and to other women. Because their marital status is nobody’s business.

the_red_squirrell
@luisag056 it used to mean you were divorced, but that is no longer the case.

catherine.harkins
@the_red_squirrell That’s not true. It was started in the early 1900s as a way not to indicated marital status, but didn’t really catch on until the 80s. It never indicated a divorcee or widow.

crystalyou08
@luisag056 yes. I always go w Ms.

svenskordbok
@the_red_squirrell that’s what I heard too

the_red_squirrell
@catherine.harkins Many older women that I have come across insist that it means divorced. Even if that’s not what it was actually meant to mean, for some it does hold that connotation.

catherine.harkins
@the_red_squirrell Well that’s on them. When it was introduced that wasn’t the meaning, nor is it now.

catherine.harkins
@catherine.harkins Just because they believed that, doesn’t make it true. Instead on continuing to argue, you could do some research on when it was introduced and why. There are a lot of people that believe falsehoods, continuing to say they believe it to be true just perpetuates a lie.

sairz_sews
@luisag056 I use it but I use my birth name for work.

cycologies
@luisag056 that’s why they added Miss 😊 widows are commonly referred to Miss

the_red_squirrell
@catherine.harkins I did research. There isn’t a lot of information on it. Considering these women lived through some of that history, I’d expect them to know more than what is documented.

the_red_squirrell
@catherine.harkins “Continuing to say they believe it to be true just perpetuates a lie.” I made a true statement about them. That does not perpetuate a lie.

womaninwanderlust
@the_red_squirrell why would you expect someone who ONLY knows their own lives experience to know more than what is documented?? Take Juneteenth, for example. MANY white folks didn’t know what it was, but should we trust them over documentation? Lots of people live their lives in ignorance or believing false information (like antivaxxers), but that doesn’t mean they’re right.

the_red_squirrell
@womaninwanderlust My point is what all is documented is not ALL of the information. Those who lived when Juneteenth occurred undoubtedly knew about it. Doesn’t mean they felt like it should be celebrated, but they knew that it happened.

the_red_squirrell
@the_red_squirrell and considering the only information I currently have access to is that which is put on the internet, it is important to note that not all applicable historical documentation is available at this time. There’s several hundred years worth of history, and the internet hasn’t been around nearly that long. There’s still a lot to be done as far as cataloguing and uploading historical documentation.

catherine.harkins
@the_red_squirrell The account of history is documented. You are literally the problem here. Just because someone didn’t know something or changed the meaning of a title, doesn’t make it true.

womaninwanderlust
@the_red_squirrell wow – the ignorance here is astonishing. Do you really think the Internet holds NOTHING that happened before it’s existence? If that was the case then netflix wouldn’t have movies from the 70s 🤦🏻‍♀️ you are really arguing to discount DOCUMENTED HISTORY because of one person’s anecdote? No wonder the world is such shit if this is level of critical thinking that exists.

kagemuschi
@womaninwanderlust that’s literally not what @the_red_squirrel said. In fact what you responded with was just another rendition of what he was trying to tell you. That while information is not as comprehensive on the internet, obviously there are hundreds of years worth of history not fully accounted for on the internet that still needs to be catalogued.

womaninwanderlust
@kagemuschi you obviously didn’t bother to google either, because there’s plenty of information and documentation out there. Instead of arguing based on some random assortment of women that one person on the internet knows…maybe try doing some research? Yeah, sure – there’s lots of stuff that’s not on the Internet. But in this case there’s plenty of information, so relying on anecdotal “evidence” from people who weren’t even alive in the years Ms. came to exist, is ignorant and lacking critical thinking. We aren’t talking about how the word may or may not have been perceived or used during a specific time period. We’re talking about the *actual* etymology of the word.
You can try to make this an argument about what exists on the internet – but the point here is that the etymology IS on the internet, and y’all need to learn to google.

kagemuschi
@womaninwanderlust you’re still missing the point. You assumed I disagreed with you. I didn’t, but you are reading @the_red_squirrell comment incorrectly. Alas, I don’t care about the topic. I only came to point out your overwhelming anger and irritation when none was needed in the first place. For a moment, thought you were all arguing politics. 😉

womaninwanderlust
@kagemuschi ah, so you’re just here to argue with a woman you agree with. Got it 👌🏽

kagemuschi
@womaninwanderlust – My gosh. Really? Context matters. I agreed that there is a lot of information on the internet about the etymology of the word “Ms.” I disagree with you with how you interpreted @the_red_squirrell’s comment about information and the internet.

WomanInWanderlust blocked me after I responded with my last comment. As you can see, she brought up the Man Versus Woman thing. It’s quite disgusting really. They fight against oppressive standards from a male-dominant society, but behave exactly the same. Yet here I was, not even caring about her gender and sex. I only cared about context and interpretation. How does our gender and sex matter here? Some feminists do love to self-flagellate. Most of the time, gender and sex has nothing to do with anything. It seems the only time sex and gender is brought up in any argument, is when the feminist wants to change the rhetoric into a gender-related one. I could literally be arguing with her about the Big Bang and she will somehow make this into a gender-issue.

Advertisement
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments