I use to have a huge entry in here originally published February 7th, just to replace it with one word: “No.” right afterward. It was a huge entry about desires and rhetoric. I felt I was too exposed and removed the entire entry. It showed the deepest crevices of my thoughts and emotions. Things that I am sure 99.9999% of the people out there, including even my closest friends would take at literal value. Indeed, some can be taken that way, but they don’t know the ‘back-story’, so it would be easily taken literally.
Tune: “Change your mind” by Sunlounger
Mood: I am looking for someone to grab onto, but no one is there
Drink: Ginseng tea
I came back to this post to add this, because I felt I ‘owe’ my readers this ‘respect’ that they take their time to come here to glance through my entries. So here it is in a ‘nutshell’…
There is a certain place that runs through the back of my mind every day. I cannot control it and definitely cannot stop it. It has annexed my wits. The only reason why I haven’t given in to this annexation is what little I feel in my heart. This distance and the common arguments Amber and I have, the constant fighting the constant misunderstanding, the constant inability to ‘dance’ with me through conversations of pull, give, take, push has really taken a massive toll on what little I have in my heart. I have to constantly reason with myself, constantly apply logic to my feelings, just so I can hinder the annexation of my wits to reach the conquest of my heart.
Unfortunately, that is all I can say without giving away the exposure.