Agata and I are Whatsapp Penpals. Since my taste in women are broad and not limited to any small particular set of libido-triggering vices, I quickly became smitten with Agata within a month of us frequently speaking with each other through Whatsapp. Literally, we sent dozens of voice messages almost every day, for about six months. That started dying down when her mother passed away from her battle with cancer, and eventually got to a point where we hardly spoke with each other, due to Agata going on a personal journey of self-healing and figuring out how to go on about the life she wants.
I told Agata that I had a crush on her in June 2019, and had propositioned her to be my friend with benefits. Of course, it would be a long distance thing to start, which would eventually become an in-person physical thing. However, the problem was that she was simply not attracted to me. We’re still friends of course and this isn’t based on the hope that one day Agata would change her mind about me. I’m too dignified for that senseless bullshit that so many SIMPs put themselves into. However, this doesn’t mean I stopped crushing on her. It just means I am realistic about things like this. Fortunately, my friendship with Agata is pretty swell and she’s a pretty decent person in the sense that she’s compatible with my ideas of morality. In short, she isn’t a judgmental asshat, even if she might poke fun at various things every now and then. We’re friends. We don’t have to be politically correct towards each other. I get her. She gets me. End of. ^_^
The only thing that bothers me about Agata is that when I tell her naughty things, she ignores it. I know why she ignores it, even without her telling me the reason. The reason is because she knows I am primarily doing it to relieve sexual stress, due to me having to take a shot of testosterone once every two weeks, which makes me horny almost all of the damn time. So to her, there is no reason to respond, because 1) I am just venting, and 2) it will most likely just add to my sexual tension which might ping pong into an unwanted sexual interaction. In short, she gave me consent to tell her my perverse fantasies of her, on the condition that I am doing so in the less than 1% of the time we speak with each other, my raging hormones cannot be contained. Beyond that, she has no responsibility, nor desire to respond to me. While I completely understand, it still bothers me, because of course, I do want to fuck her brains out while she wears the high heels I gifted her, and of course, I do want her to send me naughty media of herself, including fucking herself with a dildo while wearing those high heels, spread wide open, doused in baby oil.
Alas, I am just this kind of friend. Empathetic, thoughtful, and bound by honour more than social morality. So while these days, I don’t tell her my sexual fantasies of her anymore, my god, I do masturbate the shit out of her photos. Especially the one where she took a picture of herself in her car, wearing glasses, and a more recent one of her wearing a red top sucking on a weed pipe thing. I would always load up a picture that shows her face, then a second picture of her foot wearing the high heels I sent her. I’m sure if Agata ever read this blog post about her, especially this part of it, she would either have an amused expression, or more likely, a blank expression followed by a sigh. Well, I’m allowed to be honest and open on my own blog. 😉
Besides the sexual element I desire about her, we do make pretty decent friends. I’ve pretty much been there for her, as much as this long distance penpal thing allows us to. When she was going through the woes of crushing on the Polish Viking, I was there to listen to her vent. When her mother passed away and she went crazy, I made myself available and made sure her negative thoughts were subdued a bit. When she shared with me her daily and otherworldly thoughts, I listened intently and asked the right questions. While she hasn’t explored much about me as an individual, I have accepted that our dynamics are just like that. At least she’s a lot better than Kari when it comes to reciprocating the knowledge and life of each other. Agata blames it on her introversion, but I digress. Introversion just means a person prefers to be alone than with other people. It doesn’t dissolve their desires to want to get to know other people. I’m introverted. All of my friends call me The Hermit, but clearly, I am friends with three distinct groups of people that span decades over a loose collective of two dozen friendships.
Regardless, I am not complaining. I am just expressing an observation.
Agata is special to me, but perhaps it’s better to say, that all of my friends that have shared some figment of personal sentiment is special to me in some regard. While I desire Agata’s mouth around my cock, at the end of the day, I am also utterly satisfied having tea, sushi, play video games with her, while smoking up MJ, and do what friends do with each other. Like I mentioned in previous blog entries, we’re not all just one thing. We’re many different things. We’re all dynamic individuals that connect dynamically with other people, creating different types of relationships.
I guess perhaps the reason I created this blog post, is so I can honour my friendship with Agata, and to show that I am indeed sincere in my desire to grow old with her as a friend. Anything beyond that is just a bonus and shouldn’t be seen as the be-all, and end-all of any friendship. Instead, those bonuses, if ever they manifest, should be seen as experiences that evolve our friendship, and if nothing beyond that friendship ever happens, then it just means we weren’t dynamically suited for it. I mean it’s still possible I bound Agata up in rope and position her in strangely erotic ways, while inserting all sorts of long objects into her orifices, but that doesn’t mean I get to fuck her senseless. It just means our friendship permits us that extracurricular activity.
In short, not everything has to end up with intercourse with my dick. I can always use an eggplant instead. [sigh] What the fuck am I saying? I was talking about friendship here. 😉
Basically, I am glad to have made a friendship with Agata. I often think about her well being, and hope that whatever endeavour she involves herself in will end up positive for her.