Lisa finally came to see me a few days after she flaked out. She told me she was called to work the day she was supposed to come here. Why didn’t she just say so? You see what I mean by her lack of clear communication?
After that, we had a few phone and text sessions. Recently, we talked about some very sexually charged things towards each other. Then the next day, when I brought up sexually charged talk again, she reminded me that she doesn’t want to talk about this sort of thing. Initially, I was quite angry, because I felt as though she was leading me on. One day, she could be super sexual, sending me pictures of her, and asking if I really want to see pictures of her pussy, then the next day, she would bluntly tell me she doesn’t want me to talk about that sort of thing.
So after calming down a bit, and before she read my initial messages I sent back to her, I deleted those initial messages and told her that I didn’t like to be lead on the way she did to me. I told her, “Let’s make this simple. How about we keep our relationship 100% platonic?” She initially asked whether it was a good idea to stay as friends. So I told her that as long as we communicate clearly what we don’t want in our friendship, and respect those boundaries, then we can definitely be friends. After a bit of a back and forth, she asked me why I care about her so much. Now, I know she is super insecure and that she has trauma from past betrayals and abuse. However, I don’t like things like this that resemble game-playing, but I also want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Before I responded, I decided to wipe all of our previous chat messages, to start anew with our newly established friendship. Then I told her the following…
To be clear, Lisa did not have any issues with us having casual sex. Her problem had to do with the possibility of falling in love with me. If she fell in love with me during our sexcapade, then she would feel she would be at a relationship dead-end, because she can’t advance that fuck buddy relationship into a proper romantic one. On top of that, she didn’t want to share me with anyone.
It’s annoying because she over thinks about possibilities. Right now, right this minute, I’m 42 and she’s 41. We’re not teenagers or in our 20’s anymore. We’ve had enough stupid drama bullshit to say, “Let’s fuck, and think about it later.” Meaning, there is no point in playing it safe when we’re both horny. Why not fulfill a need right now, when we can, when we’re both still physically able, than to worry about something that might or might not happen?