The highest rated Quora answers that talk about relationship problems and how to fix them, aren’t meant to help everyone in their individual situations. Those answers are in fact telling you that ‘you are supposed to be a certain way’, before you can fix your relationship problems. Since most people aren’t that specific certain way, those same people often bash those answers for generalizing too much. Alas, they obviously missed the point of those answers.

Those people who criticize those answers usually comprise of a few of the following personality traits:

  • Have a bad attitude.
  • The inability to take personal responsibility.
  • Lack perceptive abilities.
  • Lack empathy in dealing with the sensitivities of others.
  • Unable to see fault in their own actions or lack of actions.
  • Solely or mainly blame others for their mishaps.
  • They live in a hostile and/or toxic environment which causes them to not think, nor behave outside of it.
  • Very prideful.
  • Vanity takes precedence.
  • Strong peer pressure.

Also, another thing about those Quora answers is that, like every feel-good meme ever created, it is impossible to please everyone due to the varying possibilities in life. If there is a feel-good meme about dads always protecting their children, someone somewhere out there will attack it saying that some dads are abusers and rapists. If there is a feel-good meme about moms always loving and caring their children, someone somewhere out there will attack it saying that some moms are haters and are cruel. Sure, just as there are an infinite gradient of people in the universe, no one is denying that there are evil people in this world. However, that isn’t the point of those feel-good memes. The point is that *ALL of us* should be good parents, that love, care, protect and shelter our children. Just as the point of those Quora answers is about being the best that humanity can be. If you can’t be the best of what humanity can be, then you as an individual will need to pick apart the core meaning of that answer and dynamically apply it to what you are capable of doing, before applying it to your situation. It is not up to the people answering to give you every teeny tiny fragment of every possible solution out there.

This is what living means. You take what is left of your life and choose from an infinite selection of small, medium and big things to evolve into and out of. Figuring out what to evolve and making them a priority, as well as following through with them actively, reactively and subconsciously is the tricky part, because like the points I gave above, some people just can’t see pass their own identities.

So next time, before you attack an answer or a feel-good meme for expressing the best possible solution and/or lifestyle that doesn’t fit your specific circumstance, you need to first do some self reflecting. Is the answer unable to give you a satisfactory short-term bandage, or are you unwilling to see that the answer is actually trying to help you improve the long term version of yourself? Many of us still have major gaping wounds that are still emotionally bleeding from experiences that we’ve all had long ago, but are you keeping those wounds opened, so you can feel you’re still human without going too numb, or should you actually resolve those issues, even if it doesn’t help resolve everything right at this point in time?

People have bad attitudes, because their upbringing and their circumstances have molded them as such. The bad attitude is a result of a series of mishaps that gave us a different perspective of life. This in turn inspire others to feel the same, if they are in crappy situations. I am not preaching to the masses to say you all need to do, is be positively minded all of the time. I am instead saying that what we choose to do, how we choose to accept things, especially how we reflect and learn from our own problems, we can indeed be a part of a collective of fireflies that help light the way for others to find their own paths as well.

Everything starts at the first step. Sometimes, the steps that follow are continued by those who followed you. From there, it branches out.

The best Quora answers aren’t the best for everyone, because everyone is too busy feeling sorry for themselves and perpetuating their negative feelings outward, in a twisted sense of pleasure, that others can share the same misery that they’re experiencing. However, if you truly want to get out of that misery, at least make the step going toward a more positive path. It won’t guarantee that you will get out of it, but it will show you and perhaps others, that there is always a way, if there is a will.

I know it sounds cheesy, but it is what it is. ^_^


My thought process was inspired by: “Broken” by Clemens Ruh.

Featured image by Louis Dazy.

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