Men are simple creatures. Some of us may have layers and layers of thoughts that may seem ‘complicated’ for most people, but ultimately, our needs are simple.
I happened upon this Yahoo Answers question about a wife who couldn’t understand why her husband keeps talking about sex. She asked:
Why does my husband talk about sex constantly?
whenever we talk about anything,any conversation,he will turn it into sex. it makes me crazy and i am scared to talk to him at all. we do not have a normal sex life,due to my menopause and depression. help me on how to deal with this.
After reading her question, I mentally rolled my eyes. When I was a contributor at a popular relationship help site a few years ago, this was one of the most commonly asked questions by women. A bit less than half the women that responded would often tell the wife to “leave him and find someone better” or “what an insensitive man” or “if all they want is sex, then you married the wrong guy” or “he’s a pig”, etc.
I stopped going to that site after about 3 years because I felt that the never ending line-up of people lacking personal responsibility and the constant finger pointing blame game really got to me. Just this one question alone makes me sigh profusely. Alas, fortunately, with the lady asking the question above, came a really good answer made by another woman:
There’s a saying that the more they talk about it, the less they’re getting … sound familiar !?!
Woman to woman, I want you to imagine something:
I want you to remember when you were horny and wanted it all the time (or, if you’ve never been that kind of woman, pretend – I know you can). Or, pretend that you’re really really jonesing for something – let’s say, you really want some chocolate. In fact, there’s a really nice, big piece of chocolate cake over there, on the table, on a pretty glass cake plate, under a big domed cake cover. It looks amazing. It’s got, like, 7 layers, and this really decadent, thick, gooey sour cream frosting, and chocolate chips in the batter – it looks like heaven. So, imagine there’s this amazing cake that you can even smell … and it’s right there on the table … and you see it every day, and smell it every day, and you even go to sleep thinking about how good it tasted the last time you took a bite … only you can’t have it. See, the cake doesn’t WANT to be eaten, so you have to just look at it, and smell it, and keep wanting it …
Now, THAT is how your husband feels about YOU. YOU are the thing that he wants, but can’t have. He married you because of your personality, your smile, your quirks and your heart … but a large part of why he wanted to make you his forever is because he’s hot for your bod. He WANTS you. He wants to please you, and to be pleased BY you. Men are horny, beasty creatures, and a huge part of their psyche is wrapped up in their intimate relationship with their women.
Now, woman to woman … do your hands work? Does your mouth work? Do you have even one small shred of compassion or respect or love for your man? If you do have a shred of compassion, love or respect for your man, (AND YOUR MARRIAGE), then you’ll start pleasing him, because you want him to go to sleep happy every night having enjoyed that wonderful chocolate cake sitting on the table. Just because YOU don’t want it, does not mean HE doesn’t want it. For you to turn him away even once because you’re depressed or are having menopause symptoms … it’s just cruel and humiliating. Men’s feelings are 100% wrapped up in whether their woman makes them feel manly, and desired, and loved, and wanted. If you don’t do that, of course he’s going to start talking about it all the time. If you’re lucky, that’s ALL he’s doing (in favor of, say … cheating, which is never a good thing … although I do understand why it happens sometimes. In your case … CAN YOU BLAME HIM !?!) If the tables were turned, you wouldn’t like it much if your man was too depressed to give you some loving when you asked for it and needed it from him – so have a heart!! Take care of your man.
If you can’t, for physical reasons, tolerate being penetrated, there ARE other ways to please him. So, woman to woman, I’m asking you again: Do your hands work? Does your mouth work? You still have arms and can hold onto him … right? Do you not still care for him, and for his well being, enough to show him that you still care, in the way that matters most TO HIM ?
Why not surprise him next time he comes home from work, dressed in your most sexy thing, all showered and smelling like something he wants to eat … and tell him ‘enough talk … let’s have a little action.’ Just do that once, you hot momma, and watch what happens. When he’s all wrapped up in you, it would be a good time to tell him how much you love being his wife, what a wonderful husband he is putting up with your situation lately, and that he’s the only man for you, and that you can’t imagine your life without him in it. Tell him stuff like that often.
If you happen to be naked while you’re telling him, so much the better.
I can’t and I won’t say who, but I have some male friends whom are massively sexually deprived and their wives simply don’t care and they don’t care because they can get away with it while their husbands try to stay loyal to them. These guys are awesome and their wives are simply bitches who don’t deserve them.
The lady who answered the question asker nailed it right in the head.
However her answer also kind of depressed me, but I can’t say why. I just hope that the wives that deprive their husbands of sex will read this and get it through their selfish little heads how you’re driving your men to their edges. Men, at least for me and most of my guy friends are sexual creatures. Just because we want sex, doesn’t mean we want ONLY sex from you. It means we want all of you. The fact that we want to have sex with you means we DO NOT want to have sex with other people, that we want to pleasure you and be pleasured.
It’s like porn. Looking and mbing to porn is great but that feeling of greatness lasts for as long as the few seconds we orgasm. There is nothing more pleasing in sex than knowing you’re pleasuring someone you adore and love and receiving pleasure by the person you adore and love.
I will tell you that from my past experiences, absolutely nothing beats the feeling of when my woman makes me feel very special for being a woman towards her man.