Relationship Advice

True Love

At work, 3:08pm, just heating up my noodles with ham and bok choy.

Earlier (like 10 minutes ago), I surfed into Facebook and saw someone’s wall post say: “True love is when a person chooses to love you and only you for the rest of their lives 🙂 If your not enough then it was never true love.” I had the urge to comment on her post, but decided to enter my thoughts here instead.

Like the gods that curse humanity from progressing, “true love” is a state of mind that chains the lost and hopeless to an extreme ideal created within that same emptiness. “True love” is the leprechaun mythical creature, that wanders the hearts and minds of every human. Unfortunately, you may find that rainbows are simply illusions and the leprechauns that create them can never be caught.

“True love” is not a natural mentality. “True love” means you need to actively choose to give your love to someone, equal to the level of how much you want someone to love you unconditionally. Some people mold themselves into this mental state by creating situations where they make themselves believe they are needed by the person of affection. This is a complete reflection of what they seek for themselves. If and when that love is not reciprocated, they often justify that reason that the person of affection is incapable from being hurt in the past, or is unable due to current circumstances, or some other rationality. This in turns fuels their continuing quest in giving their love generously, which again, is a complete reflection of what they want for themselves. Over time, this mental state makes them believe that expressing their martyr-like love is the embodiment of “true love”.

That is why I do not believe in “true love” because the only “true love” I recognize is that of love based on circumstance.

For example, I was born and raised by parents that had evolved from being more traditional to more contemporary as the decades came and went. Indeed, they still have their views and principles, but they have learned through interacting with their children and other sources, to filter out excess and progress in the way they handle things. In turn, their familial love has continued to evolve as experiences were gained between people.

Another example is that unsaid ‘love’ between close friendships. It’s less active in terms of progression, but to maintain a meaningful relationship, the same filtering and consideration must be met for the friendship to become more.

The last example is the intimate relationships between two or in some cases, three or more partners. To be able to react and act upon the things your partner(s) does, to be able to provide support or criticism, and to be able to build and grow together is all circumstantial. Through these points, there are no extremes when you’re reacting and acting upon your mental state of love towards someone you adore. If your relationship grows stale, it means either of you outgrew or swayed from the other person. Indeed, it is also a choice to try to make things work between your love interest, but again, that’s all circumstantial.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x