Self Reflection

When to Stop, When to Go

In westernized countries, red means stop, yellow means prepare to stop, and green means go when the intersection is cleared. In some Asian countries, yellow comes after red and it means prepare to go. Of course, I am speaking about traffic lights at intersections. However, sometimes even on red, you can go and sometimes on green, you’ll need to stop depending on the situation at the time. This is my analogy for what and how my personal morality works. The traffic light is society’s guidance in how one should behave. However, even then, each individual will need to make choices based on context rather than on society’s absolutes.

Since day one of an individual’s existence, society tries their best to burn its umbrella ideologies into our brains that only a very specific way is the right way. However, right and wrong are absolutes that only dictate what we shouldn’t do and what we should do within the confines of common society. It doesn’t help us tackle individual needs and wants with and without relationships. It only dictates absolute obedience. I find that people who have less social morals and higher personal morals tend to think of things less in absolutes and more in shades of grey.

For example, children need protecting and they should not be subjected to the sole selfish needs of adults. However, the younger and less capable a child is, the more absolutes are needed to help build a basic foundation for their growth to happen. In time, gradually, parents and guardians will need to introduce a broader world view to their children, so they can in time, branch out and figure out things on their own, draw their own conclusions, help give them the guidance that will help them deal with life, as well as the world. So this means it might clash with your own upbringing. It might even go against your own moral compass, but at the end of the day, it’s about helping another individual build their own ideas of what morality should be, and how their principles, as well as ethics come into play. Indeed, it’s not possible to guide others, without injecting your own sense or morality and righteousness at times, some more than others, some less than others, but we should all be willing to broaden the perspectives of others, even when our own perspectives are more close minded. Our goal is to give our young the capability to be better than us, the parents, the teachers, the guardians, so they can fly, when we could only run, just as our parents could only walk, and their parents before them could only crawl. We should help the evolution of life, by allowing the next generation to become more than who we are. Permit them the chance to be happy, to feel hurt, to satisfy questions that need answering, to recognize multiple paths to various issues. Just because we were stuck, doesn’t mean they have to.

Alas, a perfect world this is not, unfortunately and fortunately. The above is my own idea of how morality should be built, rather than pass absolutes around as the black and white rules of society, morality should certainly be a guiding light instead. A lighthouse to help you find your way home, while you endure the seas of various temperaments.

Ultimately, I do want my loved ones to live relatively happy healthy lives. I will do what I can to help fulfill that desire and you might not know this, all of it is selfish, even if it comes off being selfless. When my loved ones are happy and healthy, it puts my mind at ease. If I was able to contribute to that, then it would make me feel like I was useful. If they reciprocated their love and friendship, it would make me feel even more elated. That’s just how all of this works. However, I also have my own needs and wants to consider. The years haven’t been too kind to me. So I endure what I can and do what I can, but at the end of the day, it will always come down to my immediate needs coupled with the needs of my wife. Everyone else will just have to wait in line, relative to my daily whims and energy levels. Being sincerely helpful towards me, will certainly boost my motivation to tend to the needs of others, but being insincerely helpful towards me will definitely turn me off from further connecting with them.

Anyhow, I will divulge more of my ideas on principles, ethics and morality at a later time. I think this entry covers the basics of understanding how my morality works. If you’re confused, feel free to private message me or comment below.


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