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Bread Crumbs

Mood: A wee bit anxious.
Drink: Les Combelles Cotes Du Rhone 2006
Tune: “It’s natural to be afraid” by Explosions in the Sky

[audio:It’s_Natural_To_Be_Afraid.mp3]

How do you expect to refine the future, if you keep trying to delete your past?

Like my blog that I started back in March 2006, there has been many times, countless times I wanted to delete it all and restart anew. Many times that I had actually closed down the site, but reopened it the next day. I didn’t like the idea that people would see me for who I was, at my weakest, at the times when I was ‘too’ outspoken and even brash. Alas, my blog is intact and it would make it four years old next month.

You know what shines in the future? It is not the money shot, nor the greatest award winning piece of artwork I might produce. What shines in the future is all that I have experienced in the past. It is in that past that shows me what I am capable of and what I can continue to exceed in. My past is the lighthouse in which it shows me the way.

My past refines my future, as it defines who I am at this moment in time. Without that history which makes me Leeman, I am but a blank canvas, empty and lost.

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There is no left wing or right wing specific ideals here. It is as life should be regardless of society's squabbles and disagreements. I never said I strive to be a good person, nor did I ever say I will deliberately do people harm. I only said that I will do what needs to be done to survive in the world. The end doesn't always justify the means and the means don't always justify the end.

People from all shades of the political and social spectrum will find my content offensive. So my blog isn't for most people. It's for people closer to my spectrum of recognition and understanding. If you are an easily triggered reactionary conservative snowflake, then kindly fuck off. If you are an obnoxiously phoney liberal that consider yourself progressive but actually limit yourself to the matchbox-sized confinements of your isms, then go choke on your own crying snot juice elsewhere. You have been warned.

For the rest of you, welcome to my immodest abode. It's not smart, nor intelligent, nor wise. It's just life.