Thoughtful Nutmeg

Masquerade

11:56pm

Now with my ego aside and a lot less blunt, there are a lot of things that I can look forward to. I just wish that I wasn’t a part of it.

This is my ideal ‘fantasy’…

To appear in a random era with vague memories of a good family. To wander through life, places and time being an observer. To give subtle influences in the lives of those that come in contact with mine. I would like to be involved with people who have issues of their own that don’t have the energy to think beyond that. That makes my life much more easier. Only when they come to a disclosure and/or a conclusion for their own issues, that they might have a quick passing thought about me. Other than that, it would be time to move on.

Some idealists may argue that no human being want to live like that, but really, how to gauge ‘being human’? It’s like picking up a book and saying that all books are just books. That may be true if all the stories were simply ‘just stories’.

Right now, I want to go out for a drive but I’m drinking a can of Kokanee and don’t want the possibility of being caught or getting into an accident. To clear some of my trailing thoughts with some nice music would be nice right about now. I am listening to a nice beat but I’m sitting here ‘idle’ typing this up.

[sits here and listens to this song for a few minutes]

For a split moment, I picked up my cell phone and was about to look through a list of people I might be able to call and talk to. That split moment also made think of what I would say to that person when s/he answers it, “Hey, if you have some time, I want someone to talk to.”

Alas, I find that I do that every now and then but when my logic catches up with that raw emotion, I put my phone back down. The only ‘sounding board’ that ‘works’ for me are my blogs.

No I’m done.

12:29am

5 thoughts on “Masquerade

  1. I like the video introduction. It’s quite inspirational.

    I also read Rozy27’s comment at your blog. I shuddered a little when I read it.

  2. I know, I hate it when people say ,blah.. blah… blah by “our Lord”.She is taking it for granted that I believe what she does.Her Lord and my Lord are two different things.

  3. On second thoughts, scrap that comment. Why should I hate it when people say our Lord, blah. Who am I to say she is wrong? She might be right, it’s her reality. What made you shudder Li?

  4. But you are Ariel, one of the Goddesses of the infinite kingdom of stars! ^_~ Lest you be Ariel, Ariel under the sea… ^_^

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Disclaimer

Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)