Thoughtful Nutmeg

Nobody Else But You

I find it amazing Leemanism has lasted as long as it has. The domain was registered on April 1st, 2006, seventeen days after Cindy and I broke up for the last time. What prompted me to start Leemanism, was that after reading the blog of Cindy’s new fling, I needed a place to vent. Venting to my friends wasn’t enough because that’s like unrecorded stuff that gets thrown into the clouds. I needed a medium in which not only do my feelings get heard, but I get to keep them. I found out that guy was using something called WordPress. So I looked into that, registered my own domain on GoDaddy, bought 12 months of super cheap hosting at WebHostingWorld (they suck ass) and started my very own blog. Since then, WordPress has been my go-to content management system in most websites I have created for myself and for many of my clients.

When Leemanism started off, I had a good number of returning visitors, but only a small handful were regulars that commented on my stuff. In the beginning, I had a lot to talk about and most of it had a fun, comedic side to it. Of course, many of them also had a touch of pervertedness too. ^_^ What’s Leemanism without some perversion?!

Leemanism went on pretty strong for a few years, up until my falling out with Albert and Jenny in the summer of 2009. From there, the frequency of my entries dwindled. Not only did it dwindle, but as time went on, the fun, comedic and perverted entries I used to post up, were replaced by annoying emotional crap, or generic social injustices that many other blogs posted up. I didn’t like the way things were going and that in itself demotivated me. I tried many times in trying to move things around, restart the blog, give it new purpose, etc. However, after years of restarting and failing, I gave up all together. That is, up until now.

It’s September 16th, 2019 today which is thirteen years, five and a half months later. Most people I knew who tried starting blogs, didn’t last longer than three months. They simply did not get enough readers that interacted with them. This is a major key factor in having the motivation to keep posting new things. However, my blog dwindled primarily because the friends that used to share in the joy of my postings, were dividing their attentions into varying things. It started with the lost friendship with Albert and Jenny. Even though they never commented on my blog, they talk to me about it in person. The straw the broke the camel’s back, was a blog entry I posted titled The Uptight Duo Versus The Laid Back Crew. I’m sure I’ve said many things in there that not only hurt their pride, but hurt them as the brother and sister I should have been more considerate of. This however, is a story for a different time.

After our friendship broke apart, I felt that a part of the soul of my blog also fragmented. While the friendship with my other friends continued, over time, I felt that my blog has also been a gateway to my grief for many things.

One person who read my forum posts and later, followed my blog posts, refer to me as his mentor. After my writings could not inspire him to live a more fulfilling life, he took his own life.

My blog has also pissed off some of my other friends, because I use it as an outlet, which otherwise, would alternatively put me into an argument with them, if we had spoken in person. It was like an indirect attack on them on my own territory, instead of ‘fighting’ in neutral territory if you know what I mean.

Mine you, these things happened before, during and after the whole Albert/Jenny fiasco.

The last few days, I had gotten some inspiration from years and months of deliberations to just fucking do something about Leemanism. I am not getting any younger. All of these hobbies I have with GinsengSamurai, CursedBeauty, and basically ten other online projects, I got really fed up about the sheer amount of division I had. I wanted separate things for separate ideas, but at the end of the day, it all overwhelmed me. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t get any things done. So in the last week, I decided to merge everything except two particulars together. I will keep as a blog coinciding everything *I* am and do. I will also keep as a blog coinciding everything about my family life, starting with the journey Amber and I went on. For every other site, I will disband them and forward their domains to these two primaries accordingly.

So expect gaming related stuff, sex topics, relationship-help topics, some short story writing, literotica, photo blogging and other multimedia to be posted at Once I get Leemanism settled, I will start work on Perhaps I will start on that in 2020.

Anyway, if you’re reading this and has gotten this far, thank you for coming by. It means a lot to me. Thank you.

A shout out goes to Michael McFaddon who checked up on me. You’re awesome. I’m sorry I’m terrible at responding quickly. A lot goes on in my mind daily and I have to sift through it to get to people I need to respond to.

Also, another shout out to my wife Amber. I love you. ♥

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Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)