Thoughtful Nutmeg

Sake, served cold…

…tastes better than when served hot. Though some people may disagree.

For the last few days, I’ve been especially down and I think the whole thing with Pete three days ago really sparked the active down-ness. After I read his 2nd post in the forums and after everyone including myself defended ourselves and made it seem like we were ganging up on him, I felt extremely depressed. I knew he was a sensitive guy since from years ago and after that, I knew he was going to take it pretty hard. Then it happened. He left us all.

As the GM of a guild, I do not consider myself the “Big Boss”. I just consider myself as part of the management team. In Pete’s last essay post in our Secret Treehouse, he remarked that he felt amongst other things that as a guild, we shouldn’t keep secrets from each other, that we shouldn’t have a secret meeting place to talk behind other people’s backs. I disagreed with him greatly. However, instead of reiterating our entire conversation here, I will just say that when a guild gets big enough, officers need a place to discuss how to direct the guild and how to handle certain people – ALL THE WHILE keeping in mind their personalities, the stability of the guild and the overall representation of our name.

In short: some people have short tempers, others are very patient and tolerant. Some people are very sensitive and sweet, while others may be blunt and apathetic. Some people might need to be talked a certain way to be considerate towards their personalities and way of thought. Some others might desire straight-up, no BS sort of direct answers.

I support the “Knights of the Round Table” sort of management, but as such, those that follow us and are what could be considered our ‘brethren’, ‘should’ also give their trust to us. So far in the last 1.5 years, have we once steered the guild in a way in which to compromise our fun and friendship? Have we once mete out punishment unfairly? Have we once refuse to hear the suggestions and feelings of our guild members? Never. We have always listened and reacted accordingly. When an officer suggested an action for punishment, I always looked at it with a more caring eye and always suggested “another chance”.

There is one thing Pete could not take into consideration and that was as management, as officers, we have to think objectively. We have to think with an open BUT considerate mind. We cannot just act on the notion of impulse. Sure, someone like Mel might be able to handle our opinions and suggestions, but can Pete guarantee that the other roughly 40 guild members we have can also handle it? Has he never thought that some people does not react the same way as Mel? Mel over a year ago, had destructive tendencies and she even said herself that sometimes she needed to be reminded that she ‘shouldn’t’ go off on people like that. As officers, sometimes we vent, sometimes we blow off some heat, but we do that IN CONSIDERATION of those we are venting about. After we do that, it’s gone. It’s water under the bridge. It’s where the officers, the managers blow off some steam where we normally couldn’t or shouldn’t.

Pete has his heart in the right place and in theory would have made a great Captain, but in practice, he was too emotionally charged. That is fine and I think that’s fantastic as a friend, but as an officer, one must look at things much farther into the horizon and beyond that.

I could not post this at the forums because I didn’t want to re-stir this topic up again when people there are doing their best to ‘heal’ from this loss. Yes, it IS a loss because we lost a great partner and friend and of course, a great tank ^_~.

I am sorry that we sounded so harsh and felt as though we were ganging up on him and I think my emotions of injustice took over, as well as my ‘professional’ stance on how management should be like. However, ultimately, this was just a matter of personal opinion and our differences on that. In fact, I was going to ask Mel to ask him to come back ‘home’ in a few days after things cool down. Alas, he is gone to sort out his own life, something he wanted to do awhile ago anyway. His Captain’s seat is still opened, when one day, if he decides to come back. He will be missed and I hope he knows that.

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Disclaimer

Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)