Thoughtful Nutmeg

Thanks for going through life with me

In about 9.5 hours, I’ll be lying on an operating table having my gall bladder removed. It has been with me since before I was born and has helped my body break down fats and oils for nearly 36 years.

I don’t know what it looks like inside of me, besides the diagrams in the info pamphlet, but it has been a part of my entire life so far. So it is sad to depart with it, even if it contains an illness.

There was a time in the recent past I thought of asking the surgeon if I could keep it, as a keepsake to be buried with me when I die one day in the future. However, I did not and I know there will be a part of me for the years to come that I will feel a little regret, but I try to make myself feel better by convincing myself that I’ve lost other parts of my body over the years as well such as my hair, my nails, teeth and the millions of dead skin cells. Then again, none of those things have been with me since before I was born.

I have to go to bed now, but I would like to say “thank you” to my gall bladder for aiding my body throughout my entire life. In time, I will be able to eat normally again and I will not feel that sort of pain again, but it wasn’t your fault. It was mine. It’s a learning lesson that I must eat healthier, exercise more and get checked up regularly.

We often take these things for granted. I want to die whole, but life will also often teach us that we don’t end up with the things we start out with and to cherish the things we have, protect them if they do good for us and not take them for granted.

I listened to the following mix as I typed this post. Specifically from 8:39 onwards. That beginning part calmed me, as my eyes get more tired and I need my sleep.

Thank you.


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Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)