Thoughtful Nutmeg

The heavens play me like a fish

Yes I took a part of that line from “Whose Line Is It?”. I loved that show. the American version anyway.

So I found out from Uncle Dick that he won’t be able to take me to Germany this April, which was supposed to happen in less than 3 weeks. Aveos filed for bankruptcy yesterday, which laid off 2400 employees across Canada. He was going to help Francis and I fly over to Germany for 30% of the cost of a regular plane ticket. He and Francis was also going to meet me at Kiel at the end of our trip, then head back to Frankfurt together. Basically everything was going to be taken care of.

Tune: “Regen” by Knowone 004 (not sure actually)
Drink: Ginseng tea
Mood: Depressed, stressed, negatively anxious


I remember a couple of months ago, Uncle Dick told me that there is always a chance that we won’t be able to go, like a 1% chance. Well, I seem to have rolled into that 1% chance. Indeed, it’s not just my bad luck, but many other peoples’ bad luck too, but this blog is mainly about me, so I am going to talk about my own bad luck obviously.

It seems like whenever things look like they come together, shit happens. It’s hard enough I have to deal with other shit constantly, just to have this shit happen. Like my mom said, I choose the damnest and hardest path possible. This isn’t the path of least resistance as I so preach when considering dealing with work, dealing with friends, dealing with hobbies. Yet, I always choose the hardest paths for big things such as career and romance. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I could seriously go for a couple of cans of Kokanee right now. I haven’t been craving alcohol for awhile, but beer is good. It has to be ice cold too and I prefer it to be Kokanee. I need some new friends who can… Wait, Pat is out of work right now, but I’m too damn sleepy at 11:51pm.

1 thought on “The heavens play me like a fish

  1. Though I’m late in responding to my own post, fortunately, Uncle Dick did manage to take me to Germany back in 2012 and 2013.

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Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)