Thoughtful Nutmeg

Tragically, I Awoke

The feeling is mutual. Wherever you go, where your eyes set its gaze, no doubt, you will feel that certain irregular pulse somewhere in your body. Do you mistake that as some minor physical ailment? Do you panic and go into a frenzy for a medical emergency? Rather, would you just stop looking out and look inside for a moment?

The most difficult thing I had to go through when entering public blogs was to express passion in certain areas. It was easy to exert a surface wind upon an ocean to create a tiny crater ripple, but to amass a huge storm, where would the fuel come from? The energy to produce such a force is massive and not easily initiated with the day to day happenings of simply getting older.

Of course, there is only so much external means one can use, to fuel the desires to set ablaze lingering aches and pains of the past before that same external mean starts to take a toll on yourself. It’s an unfortunate result.

Indeed, there are those who would drown their day to day sorrows until their minds rot into a festering pile of dying brain and liver matter. Then there are those who replace that means with something that common society deem ‘positive’ such as sports, new friendships, new hobbies, new things to extend one’s lifespan in the form of mental and emotional extension.

The question is:

If destruction is considered a negative thing, then when is death accepted as a positive thing?

The rhetorical question that follows that would be:

How can there be new life or more life, if death will never occur?

Immortality is something sought after by all for centuries. Humans calling themselves gods – emperors and empresses of huge empires, kings and queens of varying nations in varying time lines, shamans, priests, wizards and alchemists, and even corporate executives and scientists; all seek the one thing to prolong their lives. At the very least, to stay looking young and healthy.

In that search for immortality, we go to great lengths to forget our past. Rather, to make room for the future, the potential, the new. There is no room for the old. There is no room to remember for who fought for you, for your lives, for the lives of your parents, your grand parents, your ancestors. There is no room to remember the tidbits of helping hands throughout your initial years, the years that pass by the second, by the moment, by every twilight’s rest. Indeed, eventually, we won’t even remember ourselves.

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Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)