Comfortably Numb

3:34am

I would like to thank Michelle for linking the music video to Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” on You Tube. I also watched a fan-make of this song:

Anyway, the real purpose of this entry was a dream I had this morning/evening. I went to bed around 3pm yesterday and woke up at 2:51am this morning. I haven’t entered any dream journals for awhile now, but this one seems to be quite meaningful. I may leave some things out as they are too sensitive and/or I don’t remember enough of.

It started and along the way, I was in the backseat of a car with a girl whom I will not name here, and no it isn’t Laura. [laughs] That scene was quite explicit, and though I have never seen this person naked in real life, in my dream, her anatomy looks quite realistic – size, shape, everything. It wasn’t the type of sex that we rip each other’s clothes off and stick it right in and do it for a few minutes. This was a full blown love making session – slides, miniature kisses, licks, massages – the whole works.

Her skin tone and texture was perfect. Her outer wear was a lighter colour to her tanned skin, and her underwear were all white. She had shorter hair that went as far as her chin, and she had very light make-up on. There was barely any talk and mostly action. My mental interpretation of touching her made me feel that she was very soft and very tender, in a cooler environment heating up, and the windows fogging up.

As we were making love there, my mind drifted into the future where I along with 6 other friends were on a cruise of some sort. It was a super sunny, totally clear sky early morning, in the South China Sea. The ship was privately owned and we were having a really good time. Then my dream drifted back to the backseat where I took her thong off (and no, it isn’t Cindy either). I remember lifting her left leg up, as she slid her thong off gently. My left hand caressed her right thigh and calf, and kissed her soft ankle as she stroked my cock, pulling me to her, and again my dream drifted to the future where we were all sitting on the ship’s rear-deck lounge area, having lemonade, ice tea, and sandwiches.

So the initial part of the dream was like that. It kept going back and forth, until much later on in the cruise when our ship was hijacked by a faction of the Japanese Extreme Right. They wore the old WW2 Army uniforms, even carried the old WW2 katanas. As the dangers of murder, torture, and rape dawned on us, the two time-lines merged together. I was having penetrative sex with that girl in the car, at first slowly, then rougher and rougher. In the beginning, she would just moan, but as we got rougher, she panted really hard, her nails dug into me, and she moved with the rhythm. Just as that happened, we were being forced to step aside on the ship and let them take it over. I was fearing for the women’s lives on the ship! It was very difficult to swallow that they can at any time rape and torture them as they make us watch for their sick fantasies.

It was a rather contradicting feeling as you see – on one conflicting timeline, I’m making love to the woman I probably really love, and on the other conflicting timeline, my friends and I are being forced into that sort of difficult situation.

Throughout the rest of the dream, as we were met with different scenarios on the ship, my mind drifted to a time in the past when I met the each of them – how I met them, and what we experienced together and all the events related to them and myself. Like in one instance between one of my friends and I, I bumped into her while crossing a super rainy intersection. It was like a very uncomfortable love at first sight sort of scenario, and being my usual super highly confident but extremely shy-self (yes, how retarded is that eh?), I smiled at her and continued to walk, but somehow, we eventually became friends, etc.

In another instance, as I was on the deck of the ship, while thinking of a way to take the ship back, my mind drifted to a time in Hong Kong when I was waiting at a nice cafe and I saw Albert and Jenny walk in, greeted us and then sat down across from me and my partner. They were shopping and I supposedly just woke up after my partner prodded me a few billion times to get up.

So it was like that throughout most of the dream until I finally got my friends on the ship together and told them a plan I think may work. I said to them, “There are 7 of us, and there are 4 of them. Those of us who aren’t as physically strong, will always have another to help, and the one person [I referred to Albert] who is the strongest should be able to do it himself.” The plan was that each partner and the strongest person were to try to get each of the shipnappers to the side of the ship, then push them overboard. In the back of my mind, I also considered using a knife and slicing their throats, but even then, I couldn’t do it – couldn’t raise my hand to shed blood.

I remember the girls were very worried and held onto their boyfriends and/or husbands, but I told them that if we didn’t do this now, we will most likely be a part of the sea. So as the plan went ahead, I remember I was back at the car’s backseat. We just ‘finished’ and were caressing each other and just looking at each other in the eyes. I couldn’t comprehend how I ended up with her, but I didn’t say anything.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to see whether the plan succeeded or not, but the end of that particular dream went to a scene where the ship drifted to an area of the sea, where we saw the gorgeous mountain of Mount Fuji, with the sun setting behind it and wisps of clouds at its peak. I remember shedding an overwhelming amount of tears and said something like “If we get them off the boat, all we have to do is sail to Taiwan. It’s not all Japanese controlled.” The odd thing about this scene was that though we were in modern times, my mind was intertwining it with World War 2 era, where Taiwan was being controlled by Japan at the time.

After that happened, I woke up briefly. The time on my phone read “9:38pm”. Then I fell back asleep very quickly. From then to when I woke up at 2:51am, I had another series of dreams, but I don’t remember any of that to be put into words.

As I got out of bed, turned on my PC, the light, and then into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face, I felt like I was in a foreign place. As though I was still dreaming, but it was also very real.

What do you think my dream represented?

-still listening to Autechre

4:12am