A young 20-something year old man said he was opened to casual hook ups with women, but he has a small penis and he prematurely ejaculates. He said he had tried kegal exercises, stop squeeze, and other ways to help “get over” premature ejaculation, but they none seem to work.
If he desires casual hook ups and the other people desire it too, why in the nine cat hells would anyone consider telling them about his insecurities? That’s a major turn off. Unless it was detrimental to their health, there is no reason to tell them. When he’s presented a beneficial opportunity, take it! He will never be able to move pass his issues, if he does not get the chance to condition himself through experience.
How do you communicate that you have a small penis and struggle with premature ejaculation to a girl without them immediately shutting you down?
You don’t. Why in the nine cat hells would you do that?
If they want to have sex with you and you want to have sex with them, then have sex. If you ejaculated prematurely during sex, then take it as an experience and proceed to use your mouth, your fingers, a dildo on her, etc, etc, etc. Who said sex is only about intercourse with your penis? Sex can be many things.
My wife uses a vibrator while we have sex. Sometimes, she masturbates and I lick her nipples and tickle her butt valley. I last a super damn long time. So my wife gets me super ready with a long blow job, before we have intercourse.
You don’t have to communicate your insecurities and your premature ejaculation. You just need to do it and keep doing it. Experience, friction-conditioning, and attitude are all done through practice. If you obstruct yourself with the technicals even before you do anything, then how will you ever get the experience?
PS: My penis is under 5 inches erect. Besides one woman out of over a dozen, I’ve never had any complaints.
The problem many men and women have is that they think of sex and foreplay as two different stages. They think of foreplay as something you do before penetration and they think sex is penetration. However, sex is more than just penetration. Sex is an umbrella of different sex acts that people can do to achieve satisfaction. Satisfaction doesn’t necessarily mean orgasms. It can literally just mean to satisfy one’s sense of giving or to acquire an emotional fulfillment. Of course, orgasms are always nice, unless you have a medical problem in which orgasms aren’t nice, but that’s neither here or there.
Basically, foreplay isn’t a lead up to penetration, disregarding how it’s spelled. Foreplay is a part of the entire dance of sex. Penetration can lead to release, but it’s not the only method for release, especially for women. Most women cannot orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Most women require extra aid or a different method to achieve orgasm.
Take my wife for example. She loves the sensation of my cock ramming hard and steady from behind, while she uses a vibrator on her clit. She has told me that the sensation of the fucking, greatly adds to the emotional and physical pleasure. In the times she was able to orgasm from vaginal penetration, I fucked her like a steam-powered train engine for nearly 20 minutes. However, I came shortly before I started doing her like that. She kept me hard after I ejaculated the first time, by thrusting herself against me, acting slutty, and telling me some nasty dirty things. When I was ready again about 5 minutes later, I started off slow and steady, upping the speed and ferocity as the minutes went by. By the time she was about to go into a screaming fit of orgasmic rage, her entire apartment was thumping loudly with every thrust I made into her. I held her legs wide apart, as she bit on a couple of fingers, with her head turned slightly to her right, panting, moaning, with her eyes barely closed, and then her vagina become very tight suddenly. Her entire body felt like it imploded for a split moment, then she suddenly shook violently, buckled on her sofa bed like a wild horse trying to loosen itself from the buckles holding her down. Her back arched back and forth, her eyes opened and closed in ecstasy, long hard breaths, followed by a few shallow ones, as she continued to orgasm for the next five or so minutes. When it finally died down into small putts, she opened her eyes slightly and smiled at me. Beads of sweat scattered across her nude body. I smiled back at her and remarked, “You almost broke my dick.”
My wife laughed and apologized in a whisper. I continued, “You were buckling back and forth so violently and my dick was still inside of you!”
So to give you context, I hadn’t had sex for over a year when I finally saw my wife in Germany back in 2012. Prior to that orgasmic event, I had a hard time lasting longer than two minutes. I used to last a long time. With my ex lovers, I was able to last up to an hour sometimes. Since I hadn’t had sex for a long time, and Amber was so tight and delicious, it was hard not to cum quickly inside of her. However, we did have a lot of sex and while my dick was being conditioned over the week, prior to that orgasmic sex we had, I came once, a few minutes after I penetrated her. My dick was still mostly hard, so I continue to thrust into her until I was hard again. It only took a few minutes more, and from there I was able to last for the next twenty-ish minutes. While she came, I was actually able to cum along with her.
As you can see, there are different ways into helping achieve orgasms. Sometimes, your sexual stamina isn’t even about whether you can last long or not. Sometimes, it’s about whether you can get erect again and do it again. Get her to suck you to hardness after you’ve cum. Get her to massage your balls, while you jerk yourself hard again. Get her to give you an oily tit job. So on and so forth. Communicate what you want and what your partner wants. Then make it happen. ♥