The Man In The Desert

3:41am

Tune: “The Man In The Desert” by Yoko Kanno
Mood: Feels like I am waiting for something or someone
Drink: Fonseca Bin 27 Port

Ever had a dream that naturally flows into the transition of waking up, in which the end result is you lying in bed, facing up, looking at the ceiling, but not really looking at anything, with your eyes open, but as if you’ve just finished a very long and engrossing book and you’re thinking about it. Kind of like coming out of the ‘shock’ of an awesome story?

I had a dream where I trekked across a desert. It was difficult to breath and it was difficult to walk. The wind was constantly against me. The sand storms were massive, and I constantly had to look through the slits of my eyelids. At first, there was no one with me. Days, weeks, months probably went by. I was alone and I walked, and walked, and kept walking. I fell to my knees a few times, but I didn’t feel physically tired. I felt mentally tired.

I walked over vast dunes, over oceans of wavering sand that stretched beyond the horizon. It was the most difficult dream ever, but I walked it all. Where as in other dreams, I could only walk inches. In this one, I walked possibly thousands of miles.

My face became more and more hairy. My face became more and more tired. I started to get gray and white hairs. The sides of my eyes and the sides of my mouth started to get wrinkles.

Then I stopped suddenly.

Tune: “Lydia” by Yoko Kanno

I stopped, with the focus on my tired old face, looking out at whatever I was staring at. It was bright, sandy, and windy. I was covered with desert robes and rags.

Then without further thought, I continued to walk. I realized I was no longer alone. A boy in rags and desert robes was also trekking alongside me. I ignored him completely. He fell back a few times, even almost giving up, but always managed to catch up enough. I didn’t think anything.

I craved wine in that dream. I eventually thought how wonderful if I could rest somewhere and have wine. I wanted wine. So I stopped and the boy stopped behind me. I looked up a bit, then I took my head-rags off and looked 360 degrees around me. I turned to the boy and now I was the ‘3rd view’ from far away, and see the silhouette of the boy and I standing on top of a dune with the sun in the background.

Tune: “This Eden” by Yoko Kanno

Then it was me again. I landed on my knees and he was my exact height as he stood in front of me. I looked passed him, across his shoulders and noticed it was dark way back there. Then my eyes slowly glanced over to meet his eyes and his face, and noticed how youthful he was. I said to him, “If you follow me, you will know only aloneness. At times, you will want to give up, but you never do, because no matter how tiring, you will have a desire to keep going. Don’t follow me.”

At that moment, I was semi-aware that I was dreaming, but not enough to take control. However, with some power from that awareness, I created a bottle of homemade wine and my character gave it to the boy. I remember saying after he took it, “This is the only thing I have. Take it and go.” Then I continued walking. I never looked back after that. I didn’t know whether that boy continued to follow me or not, but when I woke up from that dream, I realized I stared at the ceiling for a long time thinking – more like continuing that dream while being awake.

Tune: “Is It Real?” by Yoko Kanno

On a completely unrelated subject but somehow related to this topic, Michelle sent me this the other day:

We are all connected each and every single one of us. The soul is the glue of the universe,its not just sticky glue,its intelligent, everything looks out for everything else. And everything is in harmony with the world. The soul is like an arm full of roses ,when reduced to its purest form, you have its essence.Its strange that this essence is hard to find,because it is inside and around us all making sure that everything is connected. Did you know everytime you breath you take in millions of atoms breathed out from someone in say China? Those atoms were in another body circulating in the blood or building cell or perhaps making a baby. Without knowing it,you are connected to a baby who hasn’t even been born yet.The water in your body has the same salt and mineral content as the ocean,which means you are carring the ocean arround inside you. The skin cells that you rubbed off on your towel this morning when you stepped out the shower contain molecules that were once in the body of Jesus and Buddha and every other ancestor from the past.

I adore how her thoughts closely resembles mine when it comes to life and philosophy.

4:48am