Posted in

Nightmare On Cambie Street

In the last two hours of my sleep, I dreamt that I met up with Thalia. The first half of the dream was mostly a blur. We were in a cozy middle class neighbourhood with what seemed like early evening when the sun was not up, but the sky was still lit with some of its light. However, the sky was thickened with pillowy clouds. At first, we were outside wandering around, having a conversation of sorts. We went from house yard to house yard, but never into a house. She resembled the left-side version of a combo photo of her on my shelf in real life. Eventually, it got dark enough to be called night time, and the street lamps, as well as all of the external house lights were all lit up.

At this point, we were standing at the steps of a house with a white door and a window on it with simple designs. Facing each other, I took her left hand gently, swung with it a little, and reached over to try to kiss her cheek, but the moment before my lips touched her face, somehow, we ended up in a car. Thalia was the driver and I was in the passenger seat next to her. She was driving around like a newbie, slow and fast, turning sharply into corners. I felt like I had zero control over what was happening, with her insistence to drive like a maniac. I tried asking her to slow down, but words never came out of my mouth. I tried touching her, reaching out to her, to express displeasure with her driving, but I held onto my seat and the car instead. I was not excited and very stressed.

When I woke up, I reaffirmed what I am going to request her to do in real life. That is, instead of sending me a massive wall of text, or sending me long ass hard-to-follow voice messages, I am going to send her a sentimental card with the PS “In hardship, we see true friendship. In your insistence to tell me “a lot of things”, I request you tell me in person. True to our words, true to our expressions. Until you need me for other things, my absence for your peace of mind and sanity.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Disclaimer

Concepts from Leemanism has as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the people I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other. It is also highly unusual for people to be fully supportive of each other, even if they say they do.

Common society expects self-respect to be a concept you enforce on yourself, while solely adhering to what common society dictates as being right. However, self-respect in fact, is doing what pleases you, while not permitting others to disrespect you, and when they do, you cut them out of your life. Don't let common society gaslight you into believing the self-respect you have for yourself should be dictated by common society's views on morality. Self-respect is the individual's right to live as they desire - not what common society deems as acceptable. Too often, people succumb to the weight of the world, dismissing their individual value, to try to fit in and be accepted. If you are the type of person who tries to fit in with common society, under the fantasy you are also an unique 'weird' person of your own thoughts, then I dare say, you're delusional. Everyone says they rather be weird, but when challenged, they retreat back into their social shells, doing everything they can to deflect self accountability.

That's utterly boring.

However, at the same time, I also understand that some people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land and before common society try to lynch them for what they are. Even if your ideals may be right, society will more often than not, deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you.

So with that said, we are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)