Potty Mouth Madam M

I met Madam M through a Craigslist ad during the summer of 2006. After a few email exchanges, she texted me one evening and invited me to meet. I drove to Richmond, picking her up from a street corner and taking her to her rental on Bridgeport, a large house shared by several tenants. Her room had a certain charm, and when she returned, she quickly settled in, telling me to make myself comfortable as she organized her things. Despite having just showered, her makeup was perfectly in place – her long lashes and pinkish lipstick giving her a composed, feminine appearance.

Madam M was on the heavier side, claiming to be “big boned,” and was about an inch taller than me. Her skin was soft and well-kept, and there was a quiet confidence in the way she presented herself. Even in her simple teddy-top and pyjama pants, she exuded a subtle allure. We spent the evening talking, and despite the casual nature of our encounter, there was a connection that seemed deeper than just physical attraction. We talked about everything from her previous relationships to her thoughts on casual sex, which led us to explore our own boundaries.

Over the years, our relationship became a mix of phone calls and occasional in-person meetings. She often vented about her life – workplace issues, the toxic dynamics of her church, and the emotional abuse she experienced growing up. Despite her independence as a career woman, she struggled with indecisiveness and emotional vulnerability. Her need for affirmation became evident, and I found myself offering advice that she rarely took. While there was a strong physical chemistry between us, especially during those rare moments of physical closeness, I began to feel increasingly disconnected emotionally.

At one point, Madam M shared the story of her fake marriage an union she had entered into with a man from China, which she later admitted had been entirely for the purpose of helping him secure a green card. The marriage, as she put it, was a sham from the start, and over time, it became clear that her relationship with him was emotionally hollow. She spoke of the pretenses they maintained, the illusion they created for others about their happy family. But behind the facade, their marriage was nothing more than a practical arrangement. Still, Madam M held on to this belief that all she needed to do was love a man, and things would fall into place. Yet, despite knowing her husband used her, she continued to cling to the hope that somehow, love could fix everything.

By 2011, after enduring years of toxic phone calls and advice that went unheeded, I reached a breaking point. I realized I could no longer be a part of her cycle of misery, especially as I was dealing with my own struggles. So, after an emotional outburst on my part, I stopped talking to her. She sent a few texts after that, but I didn’t respond.

In 2019, after eight years had passed, I decided to reconnect with Madam M. I thought perhaps time had allowed her to grow emotionally and mature. Our conversations were pleasant, with no mention of sex or the past. However, the issues that plagued our previous interactions soon resurfaced. It was evident that she hadn’t changed as much as I had hoped. She was still caught in the same contradictions, unable to move beyond her past. She had never truly addressed the toxic elements in her life, and while she had removed herself from certain negative influences, it became clear that she was still struggling with the same emotional issues.

As the months passed, I attempted to bring up a more personal topic, mentioning that I had noticed how good she looked in one of her recent pictures. She responded with a voice message, surprised that I still thought of her that way, as if the years of silence hadn’t affected me. I had hoped our reunion might lead to something new, perhaps even a one-night connection, but when I drove to her neighbourhood, I stopped myself. My mind realized that this could be a mistake – one I was unwilling to repeat. We never did meet that night, but our conversation left me feeling even more disconnected from her.

A month later, as Amber and I began navigating the complexities of opening up our marriage, Amber suggested I ask Madam M if she would be interested in teaching her about oral sex. I didn’t think Madam M would be open to the idea, given how she had reacted to sexual topics in the past, but Amber insisted. I reached out to Madam M, but she responded coldly, explaining that she had stopped contacting me because she felt I was bringing our conversations back to sex. I tried to clarify, but she dismissed my explanation, accusing me of disrespecting her marriage. This was ironic, considering her own ‘marriage of convenience’ was based on pretense, and she had mentioned in the past that her husband would never care if she engaged in sexual conversations with other men.

In the end, Madam M’s hypocrisy and the emotional distance between us led me to block her once again. I found out later that she and her husband had divorced in 2020, which seemed like a fitting end to a relationship built on lies and deception. It was clear that Madam M had never truly dealt with the emotional baggage from her past, and I realized that despite the connection we once had, she had never evolved in the ways I had hoped.

Our relationship could have been something more, perhaps even a meaningful friendship, had she been willing to grow emotionally. The truth was that she was stuck in her past, clinging to fantasies that prevented her from truly moving forward. I’m left with the bittersweet realization that while Madam M was once a source of excitement and passion, she was ultimately someone whose emotional immaturity and hypocrisy overshadowed any potential for a lasting, meaningful connection.