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Neglected Or Reflected?

5

2:28pm

Ack! I have to leave for my meeting in 11 minutes! So quickly…

I had a ‘weird’ dream just before I woke up. I hate it when the feeling of the ‘good’ part always get disrupted with alarms. So inconvenient!

It was at some university or college. I was wandering around and ended up at a stadium, in the bleachers. With my notebook, I wrote a bunch of my thoughts in there. Then later on, I met up with my girlfriend who was a cute-ish half caucasian, half Chinese-descendent with shoulder-length hair. She wore glasses and took her studies quite seriously. It didn’t seem like I was a student there at all though.

We were at some room, sitting on the floor with other people, and I remembered putting my left arm around her waist and poked her side. She turned towards me and I whispered to her, “You have time during recess or a break?”

She told me she had to do something, so I asked her if she had time during lunch, and she said she had to study for her exam. I didn’t persist further.

Somehow, we ended up on the bus, and Aaron was sitting to my right. No, not Sutherland. Somehow, the conversation got to Aaron telling us that if it was him, he wouldn’t be dating if his career or his school was taking up a lot of his time. He wasn’t directing it at us, but it sounded that way. After he finished, my in-dream girlfriend turned to me and had a glance of something I wrote in my notebook. I closed it before she read anything though. She asked me if I will let her read her notebook like before, later, and I just kind of looked down hesitant. That was when I woke up.

I didn’t think much about it, cuz I have to go now.

2:41pm

5 thoughts on “Neglected Or Reflected?”

  2. Yes, yes I do actually.

    I remember along these words: “I am far away, as is she. There is someone else I love, and it isn’t her. I love…….”

    The name of the person I wrote down that I love isn’t important because it’s a representative subject, rather than the reflection of the actual person. It could very well have been “Gray Rock” or “Salty Ocean”. It’s just a filler. It is.

    🙂

    In my dream, she asked if she could read it later, like before because in the dream, she became the person who read all of my thoughts out on paper, but as she became more and more inclined to study for her school work, I became more and more inclined to close off portions of my thoughts to her. Mind you, I still don’t know what that dream meant. It could very well be literal, but I can’t piece it as a literal dream. So if it’s a symbolic or metaphoric dream, what is it metaphoric of?

    At face value, it seems to coincide with my feelings with my career, BUT the problem is that I can’t grasp it. It seems like there is still at least one missing piece of this puzzle. As if the entire picture looks like it looks ‘this’ way, but without that one piece, I can’t be sure, and even then, I don’t think it is. Understand?

    Reply

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Disclaimer

Concepts from Leemanism has as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the people I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other. It is also highly unusual for people to be fully supportive of each other, even if they say they do.

Common society expects self-respect to be a concept you enforce on yourself, while solely adhering to what common society dictates as being right. However, self-respect in fact, is doing what pleases you, while not permitting others to disrespect you, and when they do, you cut them out of your life. Don't let common society gaslight you into believing the self-respect you have for yourself should be dictated by common society's views on morality. Self-respect is the individual's right to live as they desire - not what common society deems as acceptable. Too often, people succumb to the weight of the world, dismissing their individual value, to try to fit in and be accepted. If you are the type of person who tries to fit in with common society, under the fantasy you are also an unique 'weird' person of your own thoughts, then I dare say, you're delusional. Everyone says they rather be weird, but when challenged, they retreat back into their social shells, doing everything they can to deflect self accountability.

That's utterly boring.

However, at the same time, I also understand that some people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land and before common society try to lynch them for what they are. Even if your ideals may be right, society will more often than not, deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you.

So with that said, we are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)

I am one of the few I am one of the many