Kith & Kin

A Day In Her Shoes

Awhile ago, I propositioned my friend Pascale if I can sexually vent to her every now and then. The idea intrigued her. She asked what my expectations are of her. After some back and forth, she gave it some further thought and expressed an unease with the whole idea coinciding her situation, even though it initially interested her. So to test that sexual ventilation, Amber insisted in sending her a voice message of her getting fucked and sharing a fantasy with Pascale in a threesome.

This afternoon, I woke up to a negatively-toned response from Pascale who is super stressed from having to deal with her job and home life, on top of taking care of a quad of young children, daily-routines, her important extracurricular activities, her language studies, and whatever else going on for her. Furthermore, her husband isn’t much of a partner and barely does enough to help her as he should. So her negatively-toned response was the result of having a super stressful lifestyle in which she is getting little support in.

In our back-and-forth, she eventually dared me to live a day in her shoes, which I rebutted, “No one should live a day in your shoes, including you.”

While I understand her stress, I have no sympathy for her, because in lieu of having a broken marriage, she inadvertently has swamped her life full of what she feels are fulfilling hobbies and life choices. So in fact, she’s super stressed because of self-inflicted wounds she could have resolved prior to having children. Prior to her first born, their marriage was already broken. When she finally got pregnant, she thought things would change in their marriage for the good. It didn’t. It got worst.

On top of that, Pascale insisted that sex makes up a tiny portion of her entire life, that it’s insignificant in the bigger picture. Sex only makes up a tiny portion of her life, because her marriage sucks and she’s never achieved an orgasm from sex. In all the years they have been together, she has faked orgasms with him, and never communicated how else to improve their sex life. Also, in the process of trying to fix their marriage through marriage counseling, she has realized that the counseling part was an illusion. At the end of the day, going to their monthly marriage counseling was actually a medium in which both spouses can vent out their displeasure of each other, rather than actually solve anything.

In 2012, when Pascale and I shared a mostly non-physical intimate rendezvous, she gave me a different, much more honest perspective to her broken marriage and subsequent thoughts coinciding sex and romance. She told me that sex and romance would certainly be amazing with the right person. I wish I could have given Pascale that experience of sexual intimacy back in 2012, but I feared the consequences of what could have happened. Of course, in hindsight, I should have fucked her brains out for the ten months we were heavily flirting with each other. Oh well.

Basically, no one should live a day in Pascale’s life, including her. No one should be subjected to stress like this. I am not saying sex would solve her problems. I am saying that a healthy romantic relationship would ease her overall mental health, which ultimately would make work stress something that can be dealt with much better. Imagine a spouse that does the chores without asking, or brings home take-out without being told to, or take care of the kids properly when the mom is back home after a long hard day at work, or gives her his ear and heart when she’s stressed from drama? Yeah, she’s not getting any of that, or if she is, she’s getting the extremely bare minimal.

In short, if your marriage sucks shit from the get go, don’t keep fucking having kids, and don’t excuse your life as being full of stress when you made the decision to fill it up to the brim because your marriage sucks shit. Pascale has on numerous occasions prior to her second born, as well as within the last year, that she wishes she could have amazing sex. She wishes she could experience the type of sex I’ve had. She wishes that her marriage was about communication and empathy, than the petty bullshit and mundane run-of-the-mill socially-driven textbook relationship everyone thinks they have. Facebook media makes everything look good because most people cherry pick what they share with others. Let’s see everyone observe a typical week of their home life and exactly how healthy it really is.

Don’t tell me sex makes up a tiny portion of your life, when your sex life is next-to-non-existing because of your broken marriage. Tell me again when your marriage is actually quite awesome. I bet everyone that when your spouse adores and loves you, your marriage will motivate you to fuck each others’ brains out, on top of going for all of the hobbies you want to do, without the hindrances of lying to yourself on what you don’t need versus what is actual reality.

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Disclaimer

Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)