Posted in

Brandon The Horndog

11:51am

I considered putting this in the last entry, but keeping them separate would be less ‘confusing’.

Brandon, my 9 year old cousin has become one of the youngest… No, correction. He has become THE youngest pervert I have ever known personally in the last 28 years. I mean, I was perverted starting at age 9 as well, and I did stuff with a girl who was 10 at the time, so wait, this kind of defeats the purpose… No wait, it doesn’t.

Anyway, Brandon The Horndog…

For example, I was lying in bed, napping and he was at my computer playing The Sims 2 and I created a whole bunch of characters from people I know in real life such as Patrick, Laura, myself, Albert, and Jonathan. Pat lives by himself a couple of houses down the street. Laura lives by herself across from me. Albert lives next door with his wife Evangeline and his two kids in his 4000 square foot mansion. Jonathan lives in an odd looking house filled with yummies with his mom and his sister down the road. I live in a nice middle-sized house with my wife Amy and twins (Albert Cheng and Jonathan Cheng), and finally Brandon with his wife Holly and newborn, Mark, in the 6000 square foot mansion beside my house.

I’ll show you pictures later.

Wait, I didn’t complete my paragraph above…

Right.

So I was lying in bed and he was playing The Sims 2. In-game, Laura went over to Brandon’s house, this was before he got married to Holly. Laura flirted with Brandon and Holly hates Laura. That’s a given. Then Brandon (in real life) learned what WooHoo meant in-game, and did it with Holly and eventually got her pregnant. There was a party of sorts when the baby came out, and Laura kept flirting with my in-game character as well as getting fights with Amy and Holly. Wow, Laura turned out to be a real tramp in-game eh? [laughs]

Brandon (out-of-game) asked me “Why does Laura keep getting into fights with the other girls?”

I rolled over and smiled, then said, “Does Brandon have a heart shape icon beside Laura’s picture in your Personals’ section?”

He checked and replied, “She has a crush on me.”

I rolled back to my sleeping position and said, “There you go. Which wife do you know would like their hubby to love another woman, if ever?”

Over the day, Brandon would ask questions like “Why does Laura like so many different guys in the game?, “How do I get Laura to make up with my wife?”, “Does Laura like both girls and guys?”, “Does Amy hate Laura too?”, “Why doesn’t Laura have a boyfriend?, “Why isn’t Laura married to one of the guys she likes?”, “Do you like Laura?”, “Who do you think looks better? Laura or Amy?”… Etc…

Have you noticed that most of his questions had to do with Laura? I asked him eventually, “Brandon. Why do you ask so many questions about Laura?”

He replied, “Because I noticed Laura goes to your house a lot and gets into fights with your wife and my wife and other peoples’ wives.”

I pondered on that for awhile then finally said, “Well, maybe she feels her clock is ticking faster than ‘usual’ and goes around town giving herself out to guys, hoping she can get hitched and live happily ever after?”

Brandon then asked me so many questions like “What does ‘hitch’ mean?” and “What do you mean ‘her clock is ticking’?” and “Do you mean she gives her body to guys?”, etc, etc, etc.

[sighs]

As long as he played the game and as long as I ‘napped’, he continuously asked me questions which eventually lead to my surmise. He became more and more perverted in his comments and questions. He asked me “Do you like Laura in real life?” and “Does Amy have big boobs? and “Is Amy a real girl?” and “Laura has big boobs. I know you like big boobs. Do you like Laura’s big boobs?” and “Have you ever seen Laura naked?” and “Do you want to do Laura?” and when I laughed and didn’t answer most of his questions, he would answer his own questions which made me laughed even harder and asked him, “Brandon, Laura was right. You are a real horndog!”

You know what he said, “Oh whatever. I know these things already. My dad watches those perverted movies in front of me. I also know you love big boobies and you want to do Laura.”

I laughed and said, “First of all, that’s just fantastic and second, how about you go downstairs and ask my mom and dad if they like big boobies?”

He goes, “No, but I know you like big boobies. Do you want to suck on Laura’s big boobies? Do you want to do Laura? I know you want to suck her big boobies and do her.”

MOTHER OF GOD!

I just rolled over and ‘went to sleep’ while he laughed and continued playing his game.

Ever since, he’s been bugging me about that and other things like “Have you ever done it before?”, “How many girls have you done?”, “Have you done Laura?”, “How many girlfriends have you had?, “Have you done all your girlfriends?”, “How old were you when you first did it?”, “How many times have you done it?”, “Who do you like doing the most?”, etc, etc, etc.

Aside from our daily ‘conversations’ or rather him interrogating me about sexual perverted things to do with girls and Laura’s big boobies, we still do other stuff. Having him in the house is a good balance. Instead of sitting in front of my computer all day doing work, watching anime, and playing games, I take him for his evening biking exercise, watch movies and anime, play games, just chat, go out, eat, etc.

So this comes to what I asked Laura a couple of months ago about exposing sex to kids and why people shouldn’t expose sex to kids. Meaning, I didn’t understand why adults should keep the knowledge of sex away from kids. Laura didn’t give me a straight forward answer. She just asked me in reverse, “So you would expose sex to your kids?” Something like that.

I can understand if you want to protect your kids from possibly contracting STD’s and getting pregnant at a young age, or damaging their undeveloped bodies, but why keep the knowledge of sex away from them?

Everyone at any age can get sexually aroused – either they are able to comprehend it or not. Take myself for example. I started masturbating when I was 5, and I started realizing what sex was around age 8 and had an ongoing sexual experience with a girl a year older than me at age 9 for about one year. I started to like girls at age 11, and comprehended what sexually aroused me before I hit 12. My parents never taught me about sex, but I picked it up from my uncle and from various people around me. Despite what the herd believes today, I didn’t pick up about sex from the ‘media’. I picked it up from those closest to me, and I experimented at a young age and that learning process never stops, even to today where I am semi-actively engaged in sex and masturbation, I continue to learn what I like and what I should and shouldn’t do, or rather, what I want and don’t want to do.

If my kids ask me about sex, I’ll tell them, and I won’t deny them that knowledge. Teaching people something not only means you share with them what you know, but also how to take responsibility on your actions, and to suggest what they shouldn’t do and why. Also to further that knowledge, by telling them some results that may happen if they do this and that.

Brandon asks me some pretty nasty questions, and though I don’t answer most of them – eg: “How many girls have you done?” or “Do you want to suck on Laura’s big boobies?”, I’ll answer things like “What do you do when you have sex?” and “Do you get pregnant every time you have sex?”. Nothing too graphical, but for fuck sakes, Brandon makes it so graphical for me. He told me that he heard ‘squishy’ sounds when he was watching a movie with his cousin and his girlfriend. “Squish squish squish. Sounded wet.”

Thanks.

That’s another thing. He tells me all the kissing stories about his teen cousins, and how he likes this purple hair girl with big boobs that I might like. I asked him, “Considering you are 9 and that girl is most likely not older than 12 regardless whether her boobs are massive or not from your point of view, I can tell you now, that me loving big boobies and that of a girl that is younger than 17 are two completely different things.”

He gave me a confused look, so I said, “In short, stop telling me these things!!!”

For the entire week, he kept mentioning that purple hair girl. I think it’s because I have a wallscroll of a big busted anime girl (Maya Natsume) on my wall with long purple hair wearing a bikini. [sighs]

“Why do you have pictures of girls on your wall? No wait, you don’t have to answer. It’s because you like girls right? You like Laura’s boobies? Do all your girlfriends have big boobies?”

[sighs]

I said to him, “Brandon, do you like a girl right now aside from that purple hair girl?”

He replied, “Kind of. What age did you have sex?”

I stared at him, “Yes.”

He laughed and said, “Yes what? My cousins have kissed but I don’t know if they had sex yet. So what age did you have sex?”

“25, I had sex when I was 25. You should wait until you’re at least well into your 20’s before having sex.”

In fact, I could have told him I was still a virgin and that girl cooties are worst as we age. 8]

2:42pm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

There is no left wing or right wing specific ideals here. It is as life should be regardless of society's squabbles and disagreements. I never said I strive to be a good person, nor did I ever say I will deliberately do people harm. I only said that I will do what needs to be done to survive in the world. The end doesn't always justify the means and the means don't always justify the end.

People from all shades of the political and social spectrum will find my content offensive. So my blog isn't for most people. It's for people closer to my spectrum of recognition and understanding. If you are an easily triggered reactionary conservative snowflake, then kindly fuck off. If you are an obnoxiously phoney liberal that consider yourself progressive but actually limit yourself to the matchbox-sized confinements of your isms, then go choke on your own crying snot juice elsewhere. You have been warned.

For the rest of you, welcome to my immodest abode. It's not smart, nor intelligent, nor wise. It's just life.