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Another step closer

Earlier today, Amber went to the post office and sent the Immigration Application to Mississauga in Ontario. It cost about 52 Euros for a Premium postal service which includes tracking and insurance up to $500. They said it will arrive between 5-7 days. So that means by next Thursday, the Immigration Office should receive it.

Once they get it, it should take about 30 to 55 days for them to see if I am eligible as a sponsor. I should be because I am 100% eligible based on the questions I had to answer. No criminal history, not on welfare, etc. The only thing I am worried about is that the Immigration Officer looking at my sponsorship forms lacks common sense and makes me redo it which means delays. I am about 90% confident that my sponsorship forms are good.

What really worries me is if Amber is called in for an interview because the interview office is all the way in Vienna, Austria. That will cost about 160 to 230 Euros and it means Amber will have to stay one night there, which may cost about 100 Euros. Also, the train ride from Kiel to Vienna will take about 11 hours one way. Considering that Amber is right now doing volunteer work to help herself get back on her feet and my jobs don’t pay me that much, this extra cost will be very tight for me.

However, according to CanadaVisa, it seems that only those who have shady histories and/or they do not have enough evidence that we are a real couple are called in for an interview. Considering we submitted about 2 inches worth of documents, I am also about 80% confident Amber’s immigration will go through.

There are three things I am worried about:

1. That I missed something in my sponsorship application.
2. That the Immigration Officer reviewing her stuff is daft.
3. That she will be called in for an interview.

I have found out a long time ago, that I have to work for everything I want and in the extremely rare moments I am rewarded something, the amount or thing rewarded to me is just there to tease me or possibly rather, give me a taste of what can be achieved through hard work. I don’t think the universe has set out to give me breaks. Though, it would be nice to have a few nicely placed ones just to help me ease off on the stressfulness of life.

After having experienced so many setbacks, I have become an inwardly skeptical person. I say inwardly, because towards most people and even sometimes, myself, I express optimism and positivity, to try to not let others feel the same sort of negativity I almost always feel on a daily basis. Though it seems I am doing a bad job of that with Amber.

I hope, I really hope that our immigration forms are okay and will be processed as quickly as possible. Which I have to also mention that oddly, though I have had bouts of bad luck over the decades, I have also been given some better luck. Things have been bad, but somehow, things always seem to pull through. Mind you, I have to admit that sometimes, it feels like I really am pulling on a gigantic invisible rope, a lead of sorts. This lead pulls the entire universe, as if I am the horse and the universe is the carriage. While I barely move with every step because I slip and slide, it does really seem we’re all moving because of me.

Now, when I say “we”, I guess I could convert that to “all of us as a mechanical product that works together”. So while I would like to think that it is I who made all of these better things happen throughout my life, I cannot take all of the credit. An infinite number of hands have aided in me moving along this rough path. Everyone and everything in the universe has its own infinite series of butterfly effects that ultimately helps create the environment and scenario in which I can move through.

I don’t want to get too philosophical, but let’s just say despite the setbacks and all of the unfairness, I still have a lot to be thankful for.

So, you know who you all are: thank you.

“We’ll Get There” by Roots of Society

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Disclaimer

Concepts from Leemanism has as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the people I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other. It is also highly unusual for people to be fully supportive of each other, even if they say they do.

Common society expects self-respect to be a concept you enforce on yourself, while solely adhering to what common society dictates as being right. However, self-respect in fact, is doing what pleases you, while not permitting others to disrespect you, and when they do, you cut them out of your life. Don't let common society gaslight you into believing the self-respect you have for yourself should be dictated by common society's views on morality. Self-respect is the individual's right to live as they desire - not what common society deems as acceptable. Too often, people succumb to the weight of the world, dismissing their individual value, to try to fit in and be accepted. If you are the type of person who tries to fit in with common society, under the fantasy you are also an unique 'weird' person of your own thoughts, then I dare say, you're delusional. Everyone says they rather be weird, but when challenged, they retreat back into their social shells, doing everything they can to deflect self accountability.

That's utterly boring.

However, at the same time, I also understand that some people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land and before common society try to lynch them for what they are. Even if your ideals may be right, society will more often than not, deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you.

So with that said, we are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)