Thoughtful Nutmeg

Carry Me Away

3:41am

An influx of entries this morning. Lots on my mind. The first is about unity before we can venture into space. The second one is about being judgmental and opinionated followed by religious absurdity, and now my last set of thoughts before bed about those whom are strong in their beliefs and can stand up for themselves.

This entry coincides with an earlier entry about being attracted to strong independent women. This is similar to my attraction to strong willed independent men as well. Of course, this sort of attraction is not intimate in the sense of being sexually nor desiring a deeper intimate companionship. I hope I need not explain this again in the future. I find people who distort the obvious meanings to be quite distasteful.

For example, there is one aspect of Albert that I am quite attracted to and that is his super strong will to be himself. He doesn’t even need to try and on top of that, he does what needs to be done to achieve what he needs to achieve with the least amount of resistance. This same goes to Jon, though he isn’t always like that.

For myself, I don’t like giving excuses. Either I do it or I don’t. If I say yes, I mean yes. If I say no, I mean no. If I say “maybe”, it means I’m not sure. There’s no other meaning.

I’m getting better in following through with my own words. It’s still based around convenience and the path of least resistance, but I try to clear up my time so I can make effort in getting things done.

I like to set an example for my own deeds, even if they may seem ‘questionable’ through your eyes. I would rather die knowing I’ve died with my own set of learned principles and having control over my own will, than to die having no control over my own mind and the desires that come from them.

Being quiet with other company in sight is being myself in observation mode. Being silly, perverted, and daring is being myself in expressive mode. I am not masking myself either way. Tact is fine and I will use strategy when the circumstance calls for it but if I have to mask the entirety of who I am, then I am no better than a brain-dead apparition.

I had ghosts haunt me from my past and I still have some of those lingering around today, but ghosts don’t attract other ghosts, now do they? Ghosts probably don’t want to be reminded that they’re substance-less. That’s why they follow living humans to feel as if they are alive themselves or be reminded of the living days.

Sleep.

3:56am

Disclaimer

Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)