My friends know that I am the ‘go-to’ guy for sex related topics. Primarily sex education. Of course, I also talk about the more lecherous side of my sexual desires and experiences, but only to those that have lent their ear and their time to me to hear what I have to say.
One thing that has gradually bothered me over the years, is that the majority of my friends automatically assume just because I love sex, I must also think about sex with everything under the sun. That everything I say and do, is somehow motivated by sex. They know I am pretty easy going and have a broad sense of humour. So when they say such things, there is an assumption that I can just ‘take it’, because I have a good sense of humour, plus, they’re my friends. Thus, there is an unsaid concept that ‘I should know it’s a joke’.
The problem with that joke, is that it is only a joke partially. The friends who express such jokes in the past, were obviously motivated on the idea that because I have a broad taste for sexual experiences, it must also mean that range includes evil acts such as pedophilia. For example, some years ago, I was at Benny’s house and his daughter comes into the home office. She wanted to sit down. So I asked if she would like to sit on my lap. Benny was busy, but the moment I said that, he turned around, told his daughter to play outside instead. In a chuckled voice, he remarked paraphrased, “Woah, oh, why don’t you go outside and play or watch cartoons. Uncle Leeman and I are busy.” The entire time, he had an awkward grin on his face as he carefully glanced at me briefly to note that ‘joke’ in his voice. Now, he may have expressed the joke, but he was still triggered by the fact I asked if his daughter wanted to sit on my lap.
I guess the idea is not so much that I would molest his daughter or react lewdly with an underage girl on my lap, but more so the idea that because I am such a pervert, he doesn’t want any of his daughters near me in that regard. I am not defending Benny’s reaction. I am just stating based on his character, this was mostly likely about the pervert idea, rather than whether I personally would do something so horrendous or not. Some years later, I brought this up with Amber and she was furious. She thought that the reason why Benny reacted the way he did, was because in some figment of his imagination, I was capable of doing evil acts on children. Essentially indirectly calling me a pedophile, even though I have never done, or say anything to correlate myself to being one in the first place.
Now, if you ask how I feel about all of this. Perhaps because of all of the experiences I’ve had with friends and semi-strangers saying things with a passive underlying negative tone bundled up with the semi-assertive jokes, I have become complacent with most of it. However, when I really think about it, it does bother me.
Since in today’s era, one look from a man towards a young girl can get you into loads of trouble from rightfully paranoid parents and protector’s of society, I have to be careful with how I am perceived in this regard. So I have made an active attempt to never put myself into a situation where a good deed can come off being seen as an act of evil coinciding children. Of course, this is within context of this blog, and not for obvious things like rescuing the kid on a road from oncoming traffic.