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Optimist on the outside

…but a pessimist on the inside. For as long as I could remember, I have been this way.

I’m involved in a project that has since gone through two versions and settled on a third one with a new designer. However, I still had to recreate the visuals into workable formats for web based usage, then integrate them into the website. Unfortunately, I have not been paid a cent for it because there was no signed contract that stated what the work entailed and how much we would get paid. Reason? One of my partners who found us the project didn’t properly lay out the details with the client, believing whatever their words were, were enough to hold the details together.

Who in the world in business thinks like that? Not I. I trusted him and in his confidence, felt that was the way to go. Let’s just say, the project wouldn’t have took so long and gone through two nearly completed versions, wasted tons of time and effort, just to be passed down to another designer to create the graphics and flow for.

I won’t get into the specifics and I don’t need a lecture on how to do business. I wasn’t in charge with the contracts and business side. I was in charge with consultation and development. Ultimately, I am very wary on how this pans out. My other partner spoke to the client about how we’re going to charge them, still without a signed contract. In the beginning, the cost hovered around $3,000. Then due to a second revamp, it was boosted to around $6,000. Then after another three months of development work, it was finally boosted to $10,000.

Since there is no contract and also the actual design was created by the other designer, it’s highly possible that the client will say we’re too expensive and hire someone else to implement the design for cheaper, just to save a few thousand bucks. It’s extremely unfair to me because:

1) I did the most work out of everyone involved.
2) I am the one who kept in constant contact with the client and the people involved with the work.
3) I was the one who did the initial designs, then eventually the one who developed the majority of the website.

All I need is for my partner to successfully pull this off. I could take the client to court, because my partner isn’t willing to initiate it, but that means we have to spend initial money for legal fees, which the client has millions and so is not a problem for them.

This is why I swear on my future dead corpse that my other partner who first referred us this project will never be the one to handle the business aspect of our projects. I need to do proper projects through proper contracts and not these stupid half-assed non-signed word-of-mouth agreements based on no set milestones and loose terms.

So far, the two projects this partner has brought in has been shits. The four projects my other partner has brought in has been good, well-behaved clients. This current project with the troublesome client has been a major source of my anxiety problems and additional burden on my depression. I’ve been taking herbal supplements known to help these issues and also some exercise, as well as the usual music and ‘meditation’. However, nothing beats the problem by solving the problem in the first place.

The project is completed since last Friday. Let’s hope the client will be reasonable and pay us, so we can all get on with our lives.

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Disclaimer

Concepts from Leemanism has as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the people I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other. It is also highly unusual for people to be fully supportive of each other, even if they say they do.

Common society expects self-respect to be a concept you enforce on yourself, while solely adhering to what common society dictates as being right. However, self-respect in fact, is doing what pleases you, while not permitting others to disrespect you, and when they do, you cut them out of your life. Don't let common society gaslight you into believing the self-respect you have for yourself should be dictated by common society's views on morality. Self-respect is the individual's right to live as they desire - not what common society deems as acceptable. Too often, people succumb to the weight of the world, dismissing their individual value, to try to fit in and be accepted. If you are the type of person who tries to fit in with common society, under the fantasy you are also an unique 'weird' person of your own thoughts, then I dare say, you're delusional. Everyone says they rather be weird, but when challenged, they retreat back into their social shells, doing everything they can to deflect self accountability.

That's utterly boring.

However, at the same time, I also understand that some people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land and before common society try to lynch them for what they are. Even if your ideals may be right, society will more often than not, deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you.

So with that said, we are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)