Thoughtful Nutmeg

Personal Truth

2:38am

Tune: “Lost Friend” by Dolce Triade

[audio:10-lost-friend.mp3]

Maybe I am oblivious to the common emotion that a lot of people feel if a said truth were to appear before them. Most people that say things about themselves is because they are uncomfortable with themselves, and they express it because they wish that the receiver would disagree with them. For me though, I believe I am different in that aspect. When I say something about myself that may look negative for others, to me, it’s the personal truth.

The question is, “Why is personal truth negative?”

Most people I’ve talked with say things about themselves that seem negative because they have low self esteem and it’s the only way to laugh about it, without actually laughing. For me, I do not poke fun at myself and when I do and when it is apparent, I do it to make others uncomfortable and I take advantage of this fact because I find it humorous that others will feel uncomfortable when even I don’t.

Personal truth is like another limb – a natural occurrence. Like breathing, liking thinking, reacting, walking, avoiding, dodging, etc. I never justify things that pertain to my personal truth, because to me, it is logical and the hierarchy of experiences leading up to that conclusion empowers that personal truth.

When I say it, it’s just a natural occurrence. It’s me conversing with you, as if it was common knowledge. There is nothing shameful about it. I would say that 99.9% of the all the people I know, most and if not, all the time, they feel somewhat shameful in acknowledging themselves. I am no exception BUT the difference being, acknowledging personal truth does not hinder me in any way.

My existence depends on you. Not me. However, I don’t feel as though I am a part of this world. I constantly feel as though I need to go back home. There’s just that feeling deep down inside, as if I belong somewhere else. Ever since that night all those years ago…

You see, it’s things like that, that no other will ever see, experience and feel because that truth is personal. Amongst the other aspects of my personal truth, no one in this world can ever truly accept another persons truth because it’s personal.

In short, when I say something that pertains to me to you, try not to be uncomfortable. To me, it’s common knowledge and personal truth. Nothing is more accurate than personal truth.

2:50am

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Disclaimer

Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)