Overbearing, yet not temporary

Drink: Cruzen aged rum on the rocks
Mood: Sleepy and very massively stressed

I am actually not very good at dealing with stress. Some people think I do, but what they don’t realize is that my way of dealing with stress is keeping it mainly to myself. In the past, I disappeared for days and weeks, sometimes even months, barely seeing anyone in that time. Stress is overwhelming. It’s not just simple stuff too.

Sometimes, i want to cry, but most of the time, I just don’t have the energy to. Sometimes, I want to give it all up, but the results of that yield in a very negative scenario. Sometimes, I even entertain the idea of ending my own life. Alas, I have too much of a strong will to keep going to consider taking steps to do that.

I feel alone and often times, lonely. In the past, you’ve read that I only felt alone, but not lonely. I’ve aged well. ^_^

Ideally, a good way to relieve stress for me is to solve the problem and not wait around for others to respond back to me. The anxiety associated to such things is often seriously overbearing. Most people would suggest taking up a sport, go out with friends, play some games, go to a masseur, have some sex and intimacy. I could have most of these things, but these things are all short term temporary relief that ultimately doesn’t help me solve any problems.

Indeed, I don’t work and push myself non-stop just to finish things as that will stress me out further. I do play games, watch some movies and have long conversations with my mom. I just wish I had a different and much more meaningful outlet.

So how do you deal with stress?