Thoughtful Nutmeg

Overbearing, yet not temporary

Drink: Cruzen aged rum on the rocks
Mood: Sleepy and very massively stressed

I am actually not very good at dealing with stress. Some people think I do, but what they don’t realize is that my way of dealing with stress is keeping it mainly to myself. In the past, I disappeared for days and weeks, sometimes even months, barely seeing anyone in that time. Stress is overwhelming. It’s not just simple stuff too.

Sometimes, i want to cry, but most of the time, I just don’t have the energy to. Sometimes, I want to give it all up, but the results of that yield in a very negative scenario. Sometimes, I even entertain the idea of ending my own life. Alas, I have too much of a strong will to keep going to consider taking steps to do that.

I feel alone and often times, lonely. In the past, you’ve read that I only felt alone, but not lonely. I’ve aged well. ^_^

Ideally, a good way to relieve stress for me is to solve the problem and not wait around for others to respond back to me. The anxiety associated to such things is often seriously overbearing. Most people would suggest taking up a sport, go out with friends, play some games, go to a masseur, have some sex and intimacy. I could have most of these things, but these things are all short term temporary relief that ultimately doesn’t help me solve any problems.

Indeed, I don’t work and push myself non-stop just to finish things as that will stress me out further. I do play games, watch some movies and have long conversations with my mom. I just wish I had a different and much more meaningful outlet.

So how do you deal with stress?

2 thoughts on “Overbearing, yet not temporary

  1. Thank you. ^_^ I thought it was about time to make give it a visual and textual overhaul. ^_^

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Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)