Thoughtful Nutmeg

Come Back To Me


[“Come Back To Me” by Vanessa Hudgen]

You have no idea how much effort it took me to type this. My gosh. Yeah, the last time I was nearly drink was May 2005. The funny thing is that I am aware enough, but I acan;t type properly. Wow. Will I delete this when i see it? Maybe.

What made this more depressing is that my friends remembered my birthday. Every year – day in, day out, I never thought of celebrating it. It’s depressing because I did once in my lifetime at least one, thought I could disappear. Ed, Albert, Jenny, Laura, pat, wouldn’t let me have more, but to enter the rest of my thoughts, I need more.

[goes downstairs for glass]

I told myself that i will never have more hard liquor, but… Honestly, I feel emotionally in pain all the time. I can;t compare with many people and I feel saddened, but these are the only emotions I know and can feel.

[pours myself a shot of Warre’s Warrior Port]

It’s nice and was a total surprise that my family remembered…/ Re,e, Re,e Remembered. [chuckles] Its’ nice, it really is.

I can’t complete. Thank you…


7 thoughts on “Come Back To Me

  1. 8] Thank you… I actually got your other email at DC, but was too out of it to reply. 8]

  2. Um, Ariel, it *might* not be such a good idea to hug Li while he’s intoxicated!! He becomes bold… VERY bold :p

  3. Really? That bold eh? What did I do? [ponders very innocently] I don’t remember much, considering was like so sick when I woke up… NEVER AGAIN! [waves fist in the air]

  4. *sigh*
    I wish I could have been there. To see Li smashed off his rocker. I would have laughed so hard. ….for a couple minutes anyway, then I’d probly be too busy trying to dodge any projectile vomitting that might have occured.

  5. Spongey!!!!!! BEHAVE yourself…..But it would of been such a laugh to see him intoxicated.

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Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)