Thoughtful Nutmeg

The annexation of Leeman

I use to have a huge entry in here originally published February 7th, just to replace it with one word: “No.” right afterward. It was a huge entry about desires and rhetoric. I felt I was too exposed and removed the entire entry. It showed the deepest crevices of my thoughts and emotions. Things that I am sure 99.9999% of the people out there, including even my closest friends would take at literal value. Indeed, some can be taken that way, but they don’t know the ‘back-story’, so it would be easily taken literally.

Tune: “Change your mind” by Sunlounger
Mood: I am looking for someone to grab onto, but no one is there
Drink: Ginseng tea

[audio:changeyourmind.mp3]

I came back to this post to add this, because I felt I ‘owe’ my readers this ‘respect’ that they take their time to come here to glance through my entries. So here it is in a ‘nutshell’…

There is a certain place that runs through the back of my mind every day. I cannot control it and definitely cannot stop it. It has annexed my wits. The only reason why I haven’t given in to this annexation is what little I feel in my heart. This distance and the common arguments Amber and I have, the constant fighting the constant misunderstanding, the constant inability to ‘dance’ with me through conversations of pull, give, take, push has really taken a massive toll on what little I have in my heart. I have to constantly reason with myself, constantly apply logic to my feelings, just so I can hinder the annexation of my wits to reach the conquest of my heart.

Unfortunately, that is all I can say without giving away the exposure.

3 thoughts on “The annexation of Leeman

  1. I’ve always wondered what ginseng tea tasted like ^^

    According to wikipedia it says “forms of ginseng enhance libido and copulatory performance”, very apt for you GS hehe

    Hope you feel better soon

  2. Thanks Pete, I actually had a huge entry here, but once I woke up and felt ‘lame’ to my post, I replaced it with my alter-ego’s answer: “No”.

    -_-

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Disclaimer

Leemanism is about my views, my thoughts, and my feelings with as little filtering as possible. These concepts are not reflected in the people I value and are associated with. People who accept me, adhere to the parts where we are compatible and tolerate the parts where we are not. So however people perceive me to be, ultimately it obviously doesn't mean the friends I mention in this blog are the same as me. It means it's possible they are similar or the same, as well as different than me. It is highly unusual for people to be completely compatible with each other.

With that out of the way, and to make things clear, I never said I am a good person, nor am I trying to be one, though I would rather live with the empathetic than with the cruel. I would not deliberately do harm. I rather stand up against injustice than to pretend it doesn't exist. However, I understand consequences. The police is there to enforce the law, but not deter crimes from happening. Which means people must do what they must do to protect themselves, before the law of the land takes over and even then, the law of the land isn't there to protect you. It's there to protect the general consensus. Even if you may be right, society may deem you wrong - even most of your friends may side with society, than protect you. The law will almost always side with society.

We are few. Stay safe. (•̀ᵥᵥ•́)